WHat is the right choice

vannacamm · March 2010

If you are inviting people who are not dating anyone can you invite them without a quest?

nhelene · March 2010

Yes.

I am letting people bring a guest if they are:
1) Married/engaged/in a long-term relationship
2) Coming from out-of-state
3) In the Bridal Party
4) Immediate Family (Groom's two siblings)

All of my 'single' guests will know a lot of other people, so it won't be awkward for them.

aperitisa · March 2010

I say no. Just because they aren't currently in a long term relationship doesn't mean they aren't dating someone special. (Between now and the wedding they might start dating someone) Two years ago I was invited to a wedding without a guest, but I had been dating a guy for about 3 weeks and we are now engaged. I would really have liked to have him there. All of my guests, long term attached or not, will be invited with a guest.

MOBinFL2008 · March 2010

Yes, you can invite guests who are not in a relationship without dates. However, it's always nicer if guests can bring a date.

Of course those in LTR, engaged, or married must be invited as a couple.

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

I think "plus ones" can be case-by-case. We asked three questions of each guest:

1) Are they engaged, married, living with someone, or in a long term relationship?
2) Will they know someone else at the wedding?
3) Will they be comfortable hanging out even if they don't know anyone but us?

If the answer to the first question was yes, or to all three was no, they got a date. Otherwise, no. (This was before we cut it down to just family/WP.)

nhelene · March 2010

[QUOTE]I think "plus ones" can be case-by-case.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I have ONE friend that I may fudge the rules for a little. Even though she knows lots of people, everyone she knows will be with their S/O so she might be the odd duck.

If I let everyone bring a guest, my list would be 30 people larger. I just don't have the resources for that.

lalap69 · March 2010

I like Aerin's way of doing it. That's pretty similar to the way we're going to treat it. Though we'll probably not even both with the third question.

If they're dating someone, they get a date.
If they don't know anyone, they get a date.
If they're single and know other people, they get to fly solo.

I'll probably invite all of the WP with a date though, regardless of the above. It just seems fair, since they'll be doing us the honour of standing up for us and taking on the expense of paying for attire.

aerinpegadrak · March 2010

The third question was for one of FI's friend's in particular: she wouldn't know anyone else, but she's really gregarious so probably would have a good time anyway.

I agree that the WP should always get a date, even if they're not in a relationship. Also remember that giving someone a date doesn't necessarily mean that they'll bring someone; I always went solo to weddings before FI, whether I was given a guest or not.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_right-choice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:6f79252f-421c-4c10-84a2-f6be3fa10d1fPost:357c9345-f808-44da-9b87-a4a51292c890">Re: WHat is the right choice</a>:
[QUOTE]I think "plus ones" can be case-by-case. We asked three questions of each guest: 1) Are they engaged, married, living with someone, or in a long term relationship? 2) Will they know someone else at the wedding? 3) Will they be comfortable hanging out even if they don't know anyone but us? If the answer to the first question was yes, or to all three was no, they got a date. Otherwise, no. (This was before we cut it down to just family/WP.)
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. I also think it is nice to allow the wedding party, immediate family, or anyone traveling a great distance to bring a guest.

The nicest thing is to allow everyone to bring a guest, but it isn't required, unless they are part of a couple.

We're letting everyone who wants to bring a guest bring a guest. We have maybe 15 people who are truly single who are invited and maybe half of them will bring someone.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

Agreed with PPs. But, since your wedding is still 10 months away, you should plan your rough guest list assuming everyone will bring a date. The reason why is that all of your singles could conceivably meet and get in a relationship with someone between now and then.

Of course if they are still single when invites go out, you're in the clear.

jme35 · March 2010

our wedding is going to be approx. 75 people. I called each of the single guests and asked if there was someone special in their lives that they wanted to bring - explaining that I didn't want to be rude and exclude someone or a relationship I wasn't aware of. Of course, this was made a lot easier by this being a wedding where it's pretty much only family and fairly close friends, none of them were offended or WANTED to bring a date - its a reunion of sorts for some of the groups of friends, so flying solo was actually preferred, so they didn't have to "entertain".

There were probably only 2-3 people I extended +1's to. Those people actually arent a big deal, because several of my married friends aren't coming with their spouses due to some varying circumstances.

melissadefelice · March 2010

Our guest list is very large because of FI's huge family (he has 7 aunts/uncles, and many many many first cousins!). We really cannot afford a large wedding and are on a tight budget.

All of his cousins are aound our age, and if we allow all the "single" people to bring a guy/gal they are "seeing" that will push our guest list WAY over what we can afford.

So we decided no, if you're not married or with the person for over a year, no guest.

WHat is the right choice

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