Snarky Brides

is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?

My event is gonna be totally classy.  I want ppl nicely dressed and only the ppl who formaly get invites can come.  Im scared bc my brother in law (my fiances brother) got married last yr and members of his family (my fiances family) went in jeans, tee shirts, horrible miniskirts, plunging neck lines, ppl who werent invited showed up to hit up the bar.  NO ONE rsvp'd.  kids were running amock, ppl showed up plus one, two, threes, etc.  OMG i was so disgusted!!!
I want to let my guests know what is appropriate and what i will not tolerate at my wedding!!!  I believe its necesary, knowing his family!!!  (i dont know where he came from bc he is nothing like his family, believe me, or i would not be marrying him)
What do you recommend???
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Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?

  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited March 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:67f44e69-577c-436e-8d3f-ed5ab704c7e8">is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My event is gonna be totally classy.  I want ppl nicely dressed and only the ppl who formaly get invites can come.  Im scared bc my brother in law (my fiances brother) got married last yr and members of his family (my fiances family) went in jeans, tee shirts, horrible miniskirts, plunging neck lines, ppl who werent invited showed up to hit up the bar.  NO ONE rsvp'd.  kids were running amock, ppl showed up plus one, two, threes, etc.  OMG i was so disgusted!!! I want to let my guests know what is appropriate and what i will not tolerate at my wedding!!!  I believe its necesary, knowing his family!!!  (i dont know where he came from bc he is nothing like his family, believe me, or i would not be marrying him) What do you recommend???
    Posted by AdrianaSweetheart[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it's rude.  You can't  tell your adult guests how to act or dress.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • Also, you might find the FAQ link below helpful.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • To answer your subject, yes.

    And please tell me how someone runs amock.  Is that like running and making fun of someone at the same time?
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • I think so, Sookie.  Kinda like rubbing your belly and patting your head while walking and chewing gum.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:9377597c-948f-4090-91f3-fd31b42fad0d">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think so, Sookie.  Kinda like rubbing your belly and patting your head while walking and chewing gum.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    Oh man, that's gotta be hard to do, then!  I would give them props for trying.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • Rules for your guests is totally classy. Go for it. Everyone will say how classy you are and how totally classy your event is when they read your rules. Totally. *

    *I jogged in place while typing this, so I totally just ran amock in this thread.
  • Sookie, it's totally doable as long as you're not wearing a plunging neckline or a mini skirt!  Just takes some practice.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • Wow, I imagine you could save alot of money this way, considering how many people would be so turned off by your "holier than thou" approach.  And forget about family gatherings in the coming years, you're sure to become the most-hated of the family.
  • Wow, your wedding sounds like so much fun. I bet guests can't wait to attend a wedding where they must adhere to a strict set of rules.
  • geez, you ppl are really mean, i just wanted a yes or no answer, but never mind.  and i dont think im better than anyone, i just want my wedding to be nice.  doesnt everyone?  and i wouldnt appreciate ppl not rsvping, showing up uninvited and wearing jean,  would you?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:818ae787-dcbb-4516-bae2-68d6b5b9d07e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]geez, you ppl are really mean, i just wanted a yes or no answer, but never mind.  and i dont think im better than anyone, i just want my wedding to be nice.  doesnt everyone?  and i wouldnt appreciate ppl not rsvping, showing up uninvited and wearing jean,  would you?
    Posted by AdrianaSweetheart[/QUOTE]
    You got a yes or no answer.
    Yes, it's rude.
    No, you can't tell your guests how to dress.
    The FAQ link should help with the RSVP questionl.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:818ae787-dcbb-4516-bae2-68d6b5b9d07e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]geez, you ppl are really mean, i just wanted a yes or no answer, but never mind.  and i dont think im better than anyone, i just want my wedding to be nice.  doesnt everyone?  and i wouldnt appreciate ppl not rsvping, showing up uninvited and <strong>wearing jean</strong>,  would you?
    Posted by AdrianaSweetheart[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I don't think Jean wants people wearing her.
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  • If people don't RSVP, give a courtesy call to ask, as far as I know that's not necessarily bad etiquette,
    If people show up unnanounced, but are obviously part of the family, maybe you missed something there. If they are complete strangers, or "wedding crashers" ask your biggest meanest groomsman to show them the door.
    If people show up in jeans, oh well. You and FI will be dressed to impress, and you're not spending your pro photogropher on those guests anyway,
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:7ac9d79e-b83e-42db-8a48-00f1319cb89e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]p.s. I wouldn't listen to these ladies because if their wedding is a reflection of them at all, then it will probably be classless and cheap.
    Posted by sophistryliz[/QUOTE]

    But most likely more fun than OP's.

    Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

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    This is my "OMG-Don't-Drop-Me" face

    Planning Bio

  • I wouldn't tell them formally but I would spread the word through your fiance and family. Try to stress issues like space limitation and the improtance of RSVPs. I would stay away from telling people how to dress though, even though I would want to.
  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:818ae787-dcbb-4516-bae2-68d6b5b9d07e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]geez, you ppl are really mean, i just wanted a yes or no answer, but never mind.  and i dont think im better than anyone, i just want my wedding to be nice.  doesnt everyone?  and i wouldnt appreciate ppl not rsvping, showing up uninvited and wearing jean,  would you?
    Posted by AdrianaSweetheart[/QUOTE]

    You're right, I do want my wedding to be flippin' legendary, which is why I'm letting the PEOPLE  I want to celebrate with, be themselves and have a good time. FYI, as long as your invites are more tangible than a Facebook Event, I think you should just make it a point to follow up with missing RSVPS (do not drop attire hints)
  • Do you have access to shock collars? I've found them to be very useful for crowd control purposes.
  • xoxob...you're purrtty.

  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:a10d6c01-c0d8-4d98-a024-3644d5a58ac1">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]xoxob...you're purrtty.
    Posted by sophistryliz[/QUOTE]

    Awwwh!! Thank you!!! So are you. :)
  • So, are ya'll going to make out now?
  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:1088820e-5d20-4423-9e77-9f88bad9d452">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have access to shock collars? I've found them to be very useful for crowd control purposes.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    I laughed so hard. Also recommended: electric fence surrounding your reception, I hear they can do some totally classy decorations that really make the wire pop.
  • I love the idea of making the wire pop! I bet we could use one of those spray bottles full of water and do some really creative stuff.
  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment
    It would really be an electrifying wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:7ac9d79e-b83e-42db-8a48-00f1319cb89e">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE] p.s. I wouldn't listen to these ladies because if their wedding is a reflection of them at all, then it will probably be classless and cheap.
    Posted by sophistryliz[/QUOTE]

    Well hello, Judgy McJudgerson!  Nice to meet ya.
    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_rude-enclose-rules-of-event-sheet-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:4955ee4c-6203-4264-bc60-8c194adea880Post:c0520b0b-cdd6-48e6-b185-f30e734dc7d4">Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: is it rude to enclose a "rules of the event" sheet for the guests? : Well hello, Judgy McJudgerson!  Nice to meet ya.
    Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

    We have covered this before. She doesn't get it.
  • Is the the one that thought every other post was "hilarious" in the dolphin earring thread?

  • Just remember the user name that starts with sophis and ends with batshitfuckingcrazyANDterriblystupid with some lobbying robot with guns and you'll be fine, Salt. No CNs needed.

  • Yeah the OP lost me at "my event is going to be totally classy". I wish she had said "totes classy" though. It would have made it just that much more awesome. 
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  • I think it's humorous that you're calling me stupid when you probably don't even know what sophistry means.
  • No, no, it's GONNA be totally classy.  The 'gonna' adds extra class.
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