October 2010 Weddings

I am horribly ill and having my first WTF moment with my new husband. (Vent)

I have nowhere else to discuss this comfortably, so I hope you can all forgive me for doing it here.

We got back from the honeymoon, which was wonderful, but I am VERY sick.  We're talking spiking a fever of 105, throwing up, chest congestion, and what appears to be strep.  I can barely make it to our bathroom and back without passing out. 

So, my MIL calls and says she'll bring over dinner.  I'm not totally cool with having someone else cook for us, but ok - it's a nice gesture.  I agree.  I am up here in our room because I'm just too sick to get up and I look hideous and don't want anyone seeing me like this.  I mean, come on, no make up, hair a mess...forget it.

  Now, let me preface this next part with the fact that I love my MIL dearly and she honestly wishes the best for me and just wants to see me get rest and feel better.  I KNOW there is nothing "behind" this and that SHE wouldn't think a thing about it.

What do I hear downstairs?  My MIL and FIL DOING OUR DISHES AND STARTING TO CLEAN THE HOUSE. 

WHHHHHAAAAT?

I'm sorry, but this is something I cannot ever find an acceptable act, it humiliates me beyond words, and I am MORTIFIED that it is going on.  BUT - I look like ass and can't go downstairs to stop this insanity and make the world right again.

I don't have enough of a voice to call Richard up here, so I was tapping on the floor to get his attention.  He gets up here and I am doing some kind of spastic mime act to let him know how unhappy I am with this entire situation and how he has to get his parents out of here immediately before I die of embarrassment.

He's confused as to why I'm upset, his parents are given the bum's rush out the door for trying to be helpful, and I'm sitting here in a fevery delirium wondering how on God's Green Earth that he could have EVER let this happen.  He knows what I'm like!

Obviously I just cannot ever let on that I'm not feeling well or people will keep coming over and trying to do things for me!

My MIL DID MY DISHES!?!  I am SHAMED FOREVER.
10-10-10

Re: I am horribly ill and having my first WTF moment with my new husband. (Vent)

  • Sorry you aren't feeling well - but don't worry about your in-laws... they are family now.  Mine would do the same!
  • Honestly, I think it's sweet your new ILs came over and wanted to help you out while you were sick. Don't be embarressed - would you do that for your family? I would hope so, so just accept it as someone doing a good deed and spend your energy getting better. :)

    Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

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  • Oh, you're all just so nice and normal. 

    Stop it. ;)
    10-10-10
  • KICK THEIR AZZES TO THE CURB!

    Better? ;p

    Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

    image
    This is my "OMG-Don't-Drop-Me" face

    Planning Bio

  • Hahaha.  Somewhere in between!

    It's funny, because I have NO ISSUE whatsoever with paying someone to do anything and everything, but the idea of someone I KNOW just helping out with household chores gives me the heebie jeebies.

    I realize I'm a little nuts and I'm ok with that.
    10-10-10
  • I understand completely. Sometimes it's hard to just let people do things for you.

    Chrissy & David -- 10/10/10

    image
    This is my "OMG-Don't-Drop-Me" face

    Planning Bio

  • Aww Melissa

    First off, sorry that you are feeling so horrible :-(  I hope that you are feeling better soon.  Next, I can understand where you are coming from with people cleaning your house but if you are so sick then I would just let it go.  You can't waste your energy with worrying about it but need to get better so it doesn't happen again :-)
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  • I'm also nice and normal in this case... I think you're just feeling awful and it's bleeding out everywhere, ya know?  Which I can understand.  I'm a monster even if I'm just a little hungry or tired.  I can't imagine being that sick and trying to deal with life, too.

    Feel better soon!

    J
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  • I think I am totally in the minority. I HATE when people (ie family) clean my house. My mom tried to help so bad after I had my surgerys this year and it made me nutty. I know they meant well but it made me crazy... 
    Anyways.... I agree with the pp to get lots of rest, feel better and go with the flow. Your body is telling you to chill so do it!!  Feel better soon lady!
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  • I personally would love it if someone came over to clean up for me when I was sick, but to each her own. I'm sure it was just meant to be a nice gesture and didn't realize it would bother you so much. Definitely try not to worry about it, and it could easily be explained if your in-laws asked. 

    Feel better!


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  • i totally understand. i can barely stand the thought of MY mother cleaning my apartment...so if HIS mother did, i would just die! i suppose i am very old fashioned, but the thought of FI doing more than taking out the trash makes me cringe. i feel it is my place as the woman to do all the house cleaning. so if FMIL came over & started cleaning it would mean to me, that i am a failure. lol i know that seems silly, but i was raised that way. so melissa, i totally get your point. however, the deed is done. so don't stress over it now. get better soon!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2010-weddings_am-horribly-ill-having-first-wtf-moment-new-husband-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:595Discussion:49a2c587-d95c-4c1a-adc8-2eafb1d3e0bfPost:c374f94c-d8ae-4437-aba8-0d5f562d0da2">Re: I am horribly ill and having my first WTF moment with my new husband. (Vent)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm also nice and normal in this case... I think you're just feeling awful and it's bleeding out everywhere, ya know?  Which I can understand.  I<strong>'m a monster even if I'm just a little hungry or tired.</strong>  I can't imagine being that sick and trying to deal with life, too. Feel better soon! J
    Posted by jacki_sue[/QUOTE]
    Oh my God, THIS.  The first time Ross met my Mom, I just happened to say, in passing, <div>Jena: Oh, I'm hungry.  </div><div>My Mom: Oh my God, feed her.</div><div>Ross: (shakes head) I know.</div><div>
    </div><div>A-holes :P  </div><div>
    </div><div>Melissa - I get it.  You WANT to tell yourself that it's just that she loves you and is trying to help.  What you're actually thinking is that you're a total loser for not being able to drag yourself from your sick bed (I'm getting a visual here!) to do dishes/mop/fold laundry.  The idea of someone seeing my house messy, then trying to fix it?  Ugh.  Awful.  I don't even like to let repair men / the landlord in if the house hasn't been cleaned.  The thought of someone just showing up at the apartment makes me sick.  Between school, work, pets, husband, and wedding crap the apartment is insane.  (And here I am.)</div><div>
    </div><div>Let them help.  Rest.  Get better.</div>


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  • I can relate to what you are saying.  Example: One of my best friends (BM) is flying in from AZ on Tuesday to be with me before the wedding and help out.  I talked to her the other day and telling her that I have soooo much stuff left to do and trying to clean the house.   She told me not to worry about the house and she will clean it when she gets here.  I had to tell her that it would be done before she got here because I was trying to get it clean for her!

    I too would be mortified if someone came in to clean my house.  However, somewhere in the back of my mind I would still be saying " thank you, thank you, thank you". 
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  • They wanted to help you?! What a bunch of a-holes! Just kidding Melissa. I get it - I hate it when my house looks like crap and I'd probably have a hard time if someone came to clean my house. I think more of what's going on is that you feel like crap which magnifies what is normally a little thing. Take some meds if you can and get some rest. Hope you start to feel better soon!
  • i hope you feel better!! as for the in law thing, sometimes you just need to be taken care of...its nothing to be asahmed of! lol trust me....ive been through this...and im sure my new mil would do the same if they lived closer
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