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WP's husbands/wifes "activities" during wedding stuff???

sarahlm619sarahlm619 member
Knottie Warrior 100 Comments Combo Breaker
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

FI and I are doing first looks -- and in order to make sure everyone is in the correct place at the correct time (it's a DW so no one is firmiliar with the town) we decided to get a limo for the bridal party.

We will all be meeting at a local beach to get the bridal party pictures taken so that we don't have to take the time after our wedding to do so...and then the bridal party (who will be transported by limo) will all get in the limo to go to the ceremony.

So -- for the girls -- this means from 9 A.M. (getting ready) - 4 P.M. they will be with me and for the guys -- from 11 A.M. - 4 P.M. (after the wedding) they will be with FI.

My WP all seems ok (even excited) with this except for one who keeps asking what her husband is going to do during that time.  Frankly -- he has the car and I want to tell her "he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll figure out something" -- but it got me thinking -- is this something I'm "suppose" to be planning?  FI and I have gone to weddings where I was away from him all day -- I never even THOUGHT of asking the Bride what he should do -- he figured it out!

(side note -- there is no room in the limo for extra people)

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Re: WP's husbands/wifes "activities" during wedding stuff???

  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    The way I see it, he will have the car, and is a big boy and will figure something out.  The other option would be to allow SOs to ride in the limo, but then he'll just end up standing around watching everyone else get their picture taken.  If it were me as the SO, I'd rather fend for myself.

    Maybe suggest that he and the other male SOs get together for a drink the hotel bar?  Grab a bit to eat at a sandwich shop?  Catch the first half of whatever game is on that day?
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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
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    I'd give that bridesmaid the option of meeting up with you and the other girls for the pictures and taking her own car if she would prefer to be with H.   There' s no need for her to be with you from 9 AM until the photo shoot.  I think it's a valid concern on her part; what is her H supposed to do all day long without her in a strange town?
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  • HockeyFan4HockeyFan4 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I was on the flipside.  I was a date for my friend's brother's wedding.  In the morning all the groomsmen were meeting up for breakfast, drinks and to play pool while all the woman got hair and makeup done.  I was in a different country than I lived in, and had no idea what I was going to do all morning. The groom invited me along and I had a blast :)
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  • sarahlm619sarahlm619 member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wps-husbandswifes-activities-during-wedding-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc348ccc-04b5-4a96-9e0e-2828591b1323Post:3cc9ceb0-0304-47f6-8afe-24839fe48e1a">Re: WP's husbands/wifes "activities" during wedding stuff???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd give that bridesmaid the option of meeting up with you and the other girls for the pictures and taking her own car if she would prefer to be with H.   There' s no need for her to be with you from 9 AM until the photo shoot.  I think it's a valid concern on her part; what is  her H supposed to do all day long without her in a strange town?
    Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

    I did tell her she didn't have to get ready with us -- or that she could be there around 11 if she REALLY wanted to (I'm paying someone to come to the place we're getting ready to do everyone's hair) -- but she insisted that she wanted to be there and wouldn't miss out on that part for the world!  The pictures actually start at noon -- so it's only 3 hours...considering how long it's taken for me at other wedding -- 3 hours seems the norm...
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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
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    Well if you've made it clear that she doesn't have to be there for the getting ready, I think you've done all you have to.  It comes with a territory when your partner is in a wedding.   Just seat them together at the reception and you're golden.
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  • sarahlm619sarahlm619 member
    Knottie Warrior 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    OH -- everyone is FOR SURE sitting together with the SO's at the reception!!!  All but 1 in my WP has a SO -- I wouldn't imagine doing any different!
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  • Starfish0116Starfish0116 member
    100 Comments
    I'd just make it a point to introduce all the BM's dates, and maybe see if one of them wouldn't mind initiating a "get together" for them to all hang out, get lunch, etc the day of the wedding.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    You don't have to plan anything for the partners to do, but since your friend is asking, I would say that the WP and their spouses will all meet at the RD before the day of the wedding and you think they will hit it off (at least enough to spend half a day together), and give a list of your favorite restaurants and activities in the area as suggestions, which I think is nice to do (but not required) for any out of town guests.
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  • pokepoke27pokepoke27 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Where is the wedding taking place? If it's somewhere like FL or CA where there is a beach and I was left alone for the day I'd spend some relaxing time at the beach. And if you're anywhere warm at all there is alway the hotel pool.

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  • ccarrion77ccarrion77
    100 Comments
    edited April 2012
    If your having a RD make sure he's invited and meets the other girls BF/H's and you could suggest all the guys go do something together before the wedding.  But I agree that he's a big boy and she's a big girl they will be fine for a half a day without each other and no your are definitely not responsible to set anything up for them.
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  • ceh789ceh789 member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    That's so strange to me - I've been the date several times when my SO was a groomsman and I loved having time to myself - last wedding I was actually a bit put out that FI came back to check on me between pictures and ceremony; I wanted to read my book and instead got dragged down to mingle with the WP!

    No, it is not your responsibility to entertain your WP's SOs during photos and such.
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  • eirwyneirwyn member
    100 Comments
    Holland isn't a very happening town, but he can always go to the beach or hang out at the hotel bar/pool with the other spouses/SOs.
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