Wedding Etiquette Forum

What do you remember from a wedding?

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Re: What do you remember from a wedding?

  • I remember the dancing (which I suppose is the vibe) and the food. I love food though and I am a dancing fiend. I never remember flowers, favors or escort cards.
  • I don't remember specific things that are consistent from wedding to wedding.  I do, however, remember what I loved about each wedding and hated about each wedding.  Cousin's wedding last summer?  Great food, pretty top half of dress, awesome dessert bar, good music except that it was a bit loud.  Bad bad cake, ugly bottom half of dress, unnecessary lighting - her room was beautiful and she turned it into an ugly looking lounge.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remember-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:27805f51-7874-4946-9fd4-46853a33c7f5Post:421c47a7-b4f7-4781-a9ad-0269db890794">Re: What do you remember from a wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Aww very exciting!
    <p>Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>Indeed it is. Even moreso is the news that Nick and I are going to have a niece or nephew- BIL announced on the weekend that he and his new wife are having a baby. Exciting stuff! </p>
  • I remember the food, the first dance song, and the overall feeling of the wedding.
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  • The biggest thing I remember is how much interaction I got to have with the bride or groom.
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  • Food, hands down.

    Also the last wedding I went to them "closing" the bathrooms at the beginning of the reception because the bride wanted to make sure that everyone heard the toasts, saw the first dance, saw the BP dance, saw the cake cutting, saw the bouquet and garter tosses, and watch them get served. Why they did this all at the beginning I still don't know. Longest hour and a half of my life. And this was after a 2 hr cocktail "hour" with the open bar. Good Lord did I have to pee. Don't do this. Please. Feel pity on your guests bladders.

    To be fair though, they did have two "first" dances. She was definitely a look-at-me kind of bride.
  • Clare13Clare13 member
    First Comment
    I always remember the party.  If there was one.  Did the music get people on the dance floor?   I also remember things that bride and grooms do that drive me nuts.  Keeping people waiting for 2 hours before they show up, serving dinner way after it was scheduled to be served, showing a 1/2 hour video/ slide show of themselves, cutting the hosted bar off without telling anyone, having a cake fight, expecting their guests to clean-up at the end of the evening.  OK I am being really negative...but honestly these are the things that I always remember.  Of course when we go to a great wedding I remember the atmosphere, fun party and the ceremony. 
  • I've been to three and here's what I remember from each:

    1) May 2009, Best Friend getting married
    She looked beautiful.  Great food (best I've ever had at a wedding).  Beautiful flowers, and the bride's bouquet smelled amazing (weird thing to remember, I know, but I delivered it to her...the florist brought it to the church and I took it to her hotel...ironically FI and our best guy friend were both in the car, and they both remember how awesome it smelled.)  Some mistakes the DOC made that left my friend really sad.

    2)  September 2009, good friend of FI's getting married
    Beautiful bride...her dress isn't one that is usually my style, but it was stunning on her, and I remember it pretty vividly.  Food was okay...thank God a bridesmaid warned me about the fish entree (I'm allergic) so I could load up on apps.  My first Jewish wedding, so there were lots of interesting little details there.  The bar was also next to the swimming pool...like 3 feet away...and I remember thinking that it could be a problem.

    3) January 2010, FI's cousin
    I remember the disorganization the most, I guess, and how it had an overall "low budget"
     feel, though I was very happy for the couple.  NO beverages were provided, other than the things Embassy Suites provides with the meal at no additional cost to the host.  We ended up going to the hotel bar just to be able to have Diet Coke.  The food was also AWFUL...I could not even chew through the steak and ended up trading with FI.  I ate his mashed potatos and he ate my shoeleather.  The one positive thing I remember from the wedding was the Filipino dancing that the bride's family did.  Very awesome and fun to watch.
  • edited May 2010
    Of the last two weddings I've attended....

    the first I remember that the food was absolutely amazing and delicious.  They had to have spent a fortune.  But oh my god it was good. 

    The second I remember that they had a cash bar, a tip jar on the bar, and that the bride never actually spoke to us once.

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  • I NEVER remember centerpieces. Even now that I'm super in tune with wedding things I don't remember.

    I remember if food was bad or good, vibe, and if I was comfortable. And favors for some reason. Probably because they happen at the end.

    I also remember when ridiculous things happen. LIke when one wedding had a mini Phantom of the Opera performance. It was awkward.
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  • It's sad, but I mostly remember the not-good things. I feel all negative!

    I remember...
    -being seated apart from FI at a DW at which I knew nobody else
    -there only being a chicken option ("only" as in no veggie option)
    -when the bar switched from open to cash unannounced
    -really obnoxious DJ

    But for good things, I remember the centerpiece at one that I went to two years ago. I remember the awesome open bar at another, but what most stands out to me was how happy the bride and groom were at the DW. I know that the B&G were happy at the other two I went to, but there was somethng different. Both brides were either 20 or 21, and it just felt like their parents' parties in both cases, and they were just along for hte ride. Not so in the DW.
  • I dont remember the food, most of the time though I dont like it.  I'm a picky eater though and like food thats plain.  I'm not into the fancy typcial wedding food. 

    I always remember how happy the bride and groom looked.  My friend got married 2-3 years ago, and I can still picture his wife's face the whole night.  She had such a huge smile the entire time.  She was the happiest bride I have ever seen and that just stuck with me.
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  • I remember the dress and the food... but don't overlook the invitations either.  Even if they aren't remembered 6 months later, they will be on the front of someone's fridge for 8 weeks!
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  • #1 is always 'did I have fun at the wedding?'

    I notice things like band vs. DJ...sorry if it sounds snotty, but I have always had more fun at weddings with a great band...they just always stick out in my mind.

    Food doesn't mean much to me.  I notice whether or not I was fed adequately, but I'm not big on quality of food so much.  I do notice/judge when there is not enough food (e.g., hors d'oeuvres).

    I notice whether there is a cash bar or open bar, but truthfully, I'm fine with either.  I know that goes against every grain of etiquette on this board, but cash bar doesn't upset me at all.

    I notice the bride looks beautiful, but really I hardly ever remember anyone's dress specifically.  I think a lot of them just look really similar and kind of all blend together (including my own...I loved my dress though, but it is so much like others I have seen).  I do remember one friend's dress really well though because of the story behind it.  Her mother made the entire dress...it was truly amazing.

    I notice how in love the couple seems.

    I notice if there is a brunch/party the next day for OOT guests.

    I love seeing pictures after the wedding, and I love when a couple has an amazing photographer.

    Flowers are nice, but all I really notice is whether they are real or fake.  Yes, I judge fake flowers...sorry...just being truthful.  YUCK.
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  • I don't necessarily remember what food, but I remember if I was hungry or not at the end of the night.
    I don't find most wedding food to be that great, mostly ok. I did go to a wedding where the food and cake was absolutly horrible and we went out for pizza after. It was a cousin's wedding and it was miserable.

    I usually remember:
    Did I have a good time
    Did everyone dance?
    Did the couple look happy
    Did it seem sincere.
    Am I so hungry I could eat FIs arm off?
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  • What sticks in my mind the most tend to be the details that the bride cared most about - whether it's food, the band or the decorations, something usually sticks out.  If you spent your budget on food, I'm sure it will be great and memorable.

    What I ALWAYS remember are unique and interesting details:
    a photobooth guest book, a fireworks display after the cake was cut, kegs of white beer that the groom and his friends brewed, a groom's cake that looked like an armadillo.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remember-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:27805f51-7874-4946-9fd4-46853a33c7f5Post:968f3220-2a64-40e7-9336-8d2796164f01">Re: What do you remember from a wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]What sticks in my mind the most tend to be the details that the bride cared most about - whether it's food, the band or the decorations, something usually sticks out.  If you spent your budget on food, I'm sure it will be great and memorable. What I ALWAYS remember are unique and interesting details: a photobooth guest book, a fireworks display after the cake was cut, kegs of white beer that the groom and his friends brewed, <strong>a groom's cake that looked like an armadillo.</strong>
    Posted by MargeauxG[/QUOTE]

    Did it have red velet cake inside, and look like people were hacking into the poor animal?  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remember-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27805f51-7874-4946-9fd4-46853a33c7f5Post:051763d4-fceb-482c-83dd-8303bacd743a">Re: What do you remember from a wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What do you remember from a wedding? : Did it have red velet cake inside, and look like people were hacking into the poor animal?  
    Posted by strawberrycrz[/QUOTE]

    <div>OMG that was my first vision too! I've seen it done and thought it was just off-putting to say the least.  Love Steel Magnolias, but that cake... oiy.</div><div>
    </div><div>I love following Cake Wrecks for more bad bad cakes: <a href="http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/</a></div>
  • FOOD! CAKE!

    I remember centerpieces if they are memorable, like the five foot tall centerpieces at a ritzy NYE wedding I went to four years ago. I remember if I had fun, which of course correlates with dancing and being around lots of people I know. I almost never recall dresses.
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  • I always remember how good/bad the food was, how the music was, what the centerpieces were.

    I never remember the guest favors - what they were, or if I got one or not.
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  • I mostly remember the bad things, they're what sticks out easily in your mind.

    The last wedding I went to the bridesmaids wore pretty much the same dress as the bride, except the Maid Of Honor wore something completely different (the bridesmaids wore blue, and the moh wore some mod looking black and white dress, it was odd)  that drove me nuts. Another wedding I went to this year, the food sucked, and you could tell they paid a lot for it. I ordered lasagna, how do you mess that up? Her dress also had ribbing on it, and it looked horrible it didn't even fit her right, you could tell she spent tons on the wedding, but skimped on her dress.
  • One wedding I went to had a Thanksgiving style dinner buffet.  The wedding was in May.  I typically remember if I had anyone to talk to and noticing if many other people were sitting there as akwardly as I felt with no one to talk to.  And I remember the color of the bridesmaid dresses.
  • Remember the Food..Great, good or Bad..some end up with  a stomach ache.
    And place / venue of the wedding.Besides that, nothing hehe.
  • Decor (Table decorations/centerpieces) & Guests we sat with :)
  • My parents will be married for 39 years at the end of this month. Whenever the subject of weddings come up, for any reason, family and friends still mention how great the food was at my parent's wedding: the amount served during and after the CH and how great it all tasted, and how well the staff treated the guests.
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  • if the music and the food were good.

  • Of the 3 I've been to, I remember the food and of course, the people. While the entire day blurs together, for some odd reason, certain moments remain surprisingly vivid and clear. A moment where the bride invited her sisters up to the dance floor to sing "Any Man of Mine" to her new husband, for example. I also remember how I felt, be it welcomed and joyful, or bored and rather "outside" of the event. I don't necessaryily remember why I felt that way, only that the feeling remained long after the wedding was over - and I'm sure all those little details, paired with a few amazing people, all contributed.

  • I rarely remember the food unless it was bad or not enough of it. I usually remember long gaps the most.... standing around waiting. I am trying to avoid that with ours and keep things moving along so guests always feel comfortable and taken care of.

    I also tend to remember the dress. I don't remember cakes b/c I am allergic to wheat flour and never eat the cake. I do remember one wedding though, where they went out of their way to serve me cake I could eat. I felt so special... don't remember the cake much but just remember feeling special.

    I've learned there are two types of people: details people and "overall picture" people. Details people will usually remember just that: the small stuff, the intricate detaials or lackthereof.

    Big picture people (like me) will most likely hold on more to the overall atmosphere (was it comfortable? Attractive overall?) and feelings associated with the wedding (did I feel taken care of or shoved in a corner and forgotten about?).

    I would say if you aim to serve both types in some capacity, you'll be fine.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_remember-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27805f51-7874-4946-9fd4-46853a33c7f5Post:9d33f160-885f-4d31-b501-73ca19f83b26">Re: What do you remember from a wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh and I remember bad vows. Like the groom telling the bride that he loves her "even though she is a spoiled brat, and nags a lot" <strong>and she loves him even though "he's kind of a jerk and gets drunk all the time."</strong>
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    lmao!
  • Well, this person who said she never remembers the food has simply never been to a wedding with really good food.  Personally, I've been to about 10 weddings as a guest in my adult life and have only been to one wedding that served different and delicious cuisine...typically it's rather drab and not worth remembering.

    I remember the DJ/dancing....the alcohol experience (did they do cash bar, fully stocked, have signature cocktail, etcetera) ... the brides gown and hair and the overall ceremony.

    As much as I love decor- I only remember it if it was awful or incredible (most wedidngs fall between) BUT despite my love of decor, it absolutely has no effect on the good time had.


    judge the non-traditional, pop their happy little wedding balloons... and sleep better tonight for you have made the world a better place.
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