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August 2010 Weddings

I am still "and Guest"??? - vent

Fi has this one friend from HS that we still hang out with.  They have been in a relationship shorter than us and are getting married on Sept 24.  We will be a Mr. and Mrs. C for a month and 10 day by the time of their wedding, but on the invitation I am still And Guest!!!! WTF!

I made sure I learn her name, sent them our STD and our invite with her name on both.  Why don't they care to write out my name? It's not that hard, just use our invite, or FB. you are both friends with me on it.  They know my name, so what is wrong with just adding it to the label? It's not hand written, they could have copied and pasted.  When we come in to the reception, will the escort card say: Guest of Joe C?

UGHHHHHHHHHHH. I really hate them :(

Re: I am still "and Guest"??? - vent

  • that is very rude of them! I'm sorry :(
    I had reasons for why they might be doing that, maybe they didn't know the spelling or forgot your name but from what you said, they clearly know who you are!!!
  • I'm sorry that is so rude! Make sure when  you send the RSVP card in to put your name in big, bold letters!
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  • Ha ha, Fi just said I should write: MR and MRS C in our response card. Or just our names: Ela and Joe C.

    I think they just don't care.... and that's the part that sucks, you should care about the guests that you invite to your wedding. If you don't why do you invite them?
  • Yeah, that happened to me back in May when I got an invite for a wedding taking place in June.  It was from a high school friend of mine and FI and I have gone out to eat multiple times with her and her now husband. 

    The invite read Ms. McD and Guest.

    I was royally pissed.  I honestly believe that some people think it's actually GOOD etiquette to include 'and guest' on the invitation if the couple isn't married yet.  Doesn't matter whether the couple is engaged.  Yes, I am technically still 'single', but I only hold that status because I'm not married yet. 

    Since you brought it up, I'm getting a little pissed.  There's no excusing that.
  • That is BS!  Even before FI & I were engaged we were invited to a wedding by names.  In my opinion if you are inviting someone and you know their SO then invite them by name... especially if they are getting married a month before you!!!

    I am mad for you!
  • rktorkto member
    100 Comments
    your friends have no excuses since they see your name on FB, etc!
    a few years ago, my friend invited me and my fi to a wedding and she didnt know his last name and spelled his first name wrong but I was pleased  that she at least tried.
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  • lol - im sorry i'm not laughing at you but i'm laughing because the same thing happened to my FI about 2 years ago. we went to one of my best friend's engagement party and fi and i had been dating for 3 years. its not like she doesnt know him or how serious we were. and on the invitation AND placecard she had my name and guest. FI was beyond pissed and still thinks that she did it because she doesnt like him - she likes him, fi thinks she doesnt for some reason

    anyway i think its because her mom is very old school and you should still get an "and guest" because you're not married yet. but we had been seriously dating so there's really no excuse.

    rkto brings up a great use of facebook. thats where i am going for spelling of last names and their guests. its a very useful tool
  • Yeah, that's kind of a load of crap, especially since you'll be married by then.  Maybe you should sign your card to them at the wedding with Mr. C and Guest.
  • Last year for my OWN COUSIN's wedding my FI (just bf at the time) was the "and guest" for the wedding invite. We had been together for 9 years when we got the invite, and living together for 8.5. That really irked me!

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  • Yikes, that's very rude!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2010-weddings_am-still-guest-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:593Discussion:67a3c66d-607d-408a-ad5b-254fcf77b0a8Post:5d66dc25-e068-447f-84b1-29d156c24a52">Re: I am still "and Guest"??? - vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, that's kind of a load of crap, especially since you'll be married by then.  Maybe you should sign your card to them at the wedding with Mr. C and Guest.
    Posted by aweilba[/QUOTE]

    Ha Ha, I love this. we may do that :)
  • You should send them a thank you card for coming to your wedding and write "Thank you for attending our wedding , her name and his name.  Cant wait to attend yours as a married couple, your name and his name."

    Seriously though, this is just nuts that they cant figure it out.  Write your names clearly on the rvp and maybe they will get the point.
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  • I think I'm the only person who went the old school route, so please don't hate me! Ela, the only reason I would be angry in your situation is because you're getting married before them and will be husband and wife at their wedding. This is just how we did ours:
     
    All unmarried couples (except for family friends who've been living together for like 20+ years) were given a "and guest". My cousin who is engaged got an "& guest" because I've never even met him and neither has anyone in my family really and he's only been around for a few months. My friend who is one of my bridesmaids received an "& guest" mostly because they got engaged right after the names and addresses were printed, but she agrees with the "& guest" treatment". A couple of other people were in long term relationships, but since we've sent the invites they broke up so we're very happy we just wrote "& guest" because they still know they can bring someone (anyone!).

    I was in a very long term relationship years ago and we were engaged and I always received "& guest" on wedding invites, so I guess I'm just used to that. Different people address things different ways, so maybe her family is a little more like mine? Hope this helps.
  • That's happened to me before.  When you know someone is with someone, I think the proper thing to do is write the name.  It's annoying!
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