How to react to no bridal shower?

lyndona · April 2010

Deleted question

Giacomino · April 2010

I am sorry about this! Many people will disagree with what I am about to say but if you like the advice, then don't worry so much about nay-sayers:

I think you should pick a day that does work for you, and then have your mom email your birdesmaids and coworkers saying:

"Since (your name) is not having a bridal shower, I wanted to treat her to a luncheon surprise her by having as many of her friends there as possible. I know it would mean so much to her! Would you be able to come? Please let me know if you can make it--and if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them! Sincerely, (her mom)."

I don't care what etiquette books say about mom's hosting showers. This isn't technically a shower invite, and besides, now some books say even a mom can host a shower. (I also feel that the best way to ensure that you offend someone is to follow an etiquette book because you are basically telling them that some book written by a stranger holds more weight to them than your actual friendship and personal relationship, but that's a tangent.) I'll just say, if I received such an email from a friend's mom, I'd be excited, and pleased for the invitation.

WGaches · April 2010

You should grow up and feel excited that in 26 days you get to marry the man of your dreams. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but NOBODY is ENTITLED to any shower, pre-wedding party, or other gift-giving event. Nobody. And you should not have put pressure on your mother the day before her daughter gets married - that was rude and inconsiderate. And besides, you may be having a surprise shower hosted by someone who is actually keeping it a surprise. Stop focusing on the things that don't matter and start focusing on the things that do - your love for you FI.

trix1223 · April 2010

pp had good advice. Allow yourself to feel a little disappointed for a day. Then move on and realize that the end result of this event will be the same with or without a shower.

Since you know that a shower is NOT a requirement to get married, let it go. Besides, your wedding is still almost 4 weeks away. There might still be something planned. But really, let this go.

lyndona · April 2010

Deleted response

WGaches · April 2010

Well then great. Since you know you're an adult, you can move on. The fact that they will be at your wedding should be support enough. It drives me crazy when brides think "well, I threw her a shower/ party so I should get one from her". That's childish thinking. You throw a person an event because you want to and have the ability to. Just because nobody has said anything doesn't mean you're any less loved. Unemployment is through the roof in case you haven't noticed, and most families are cutting back to bare necessities. Unfortunately, parties are not a necessity. So, I repeat - grow up. And enjoy the rest of you 26 days of planning. You don't want to look back and regret that you were so down about this and didn't enjoy the final details. And it's WGaches, no T.

lyndona · April 2010

Well, since no one seems to be getting the point, I'll just delete my question. There are certain stereotypes about selfish people that seem to be at play here rather than a throughtful consideration of an issue.

trix1223 · April 2010

We got the point. We just disagreed with you. There's a big difference between disagreeing and not getting the point.

You're disappointed that you're not getting a shower. You're entitled to be disappointed about it. But you're not entitled to a shower. So realize that and move on.

quotequeen · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_react-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:b7c0ea88-5ba2-460b-8bdc-869d5eb1b9abPost:5f86e57d-10ff-4c55-812b-2c8b39ce464f">Re: How to react to no bridal shower?</a>:
[QUOTE](I also feel that the best way to ensure that you offend someone is to follow an etiquette book because you are basically telling them that some book written by a stranger holds more weight to them than your actual friendship and personal relationship, but that's a tangent.)
Posted by Giacomino[/QUOTE]

Huh??

duckie1905 · April 2010

Really, what a baby. Instead of being an adult and trying to explain and stand behind your post you DD like a coward?

Nice.

JKins10169 · June 2010

Lyndona, don't feel bad about being upset, I would have been PISSED too....are you guys SERIOUS that you wouldn't have been upset? Instead of all your rude comments to this poor girl maybe you should think back to the day that you got a bridal shower and how exciting it was and how you would have felt had you NOT got one......maybe you're all from east no where's land where showers are few to none but where im from everyone has showers...and lyndona although you'll eventually just have to get over it, you are 100% entitled to feeling cheated out of one.

How to react to no bridal shower?

Re: How to react to no bridal shower?

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