Concerned/vent

Re: Concerned/vent

• alpresberry

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  I definitely understand your concern because my FI is in the army and we just found yesterday out he will be leaving soon as well.  You got this though, like you said be strong and hold it down until he returns. BTW, can you go with him?  We kinda decided a little while ago that we wouldn't accept any assignments if I couldn't go as well (I know this is not always an option). Just an FYI, although this is the best board on the knot, the women on the military board are pretty cool as well.  

  Planning Bio

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• Ksk2012

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  Well you still have us!!! I am sorry your FI has to go but maybe this will give you an opportunity to meet some new people... are you a part of any clubs or volunteer programs? I know you said you are a nurse, is there a Black Nurses organization that you can join?  Or I guess it doesn't have to be black. I am a member of the Urban league and we do a lot of community service stuff but we always have A LOT of transplants because it is a way to meet new people. Then by the time you are really ready to go you just may have some new friends!
  
  Not sure how far you are from the Urban League but here is their link... also I have a friend that is from Dallas originally, lived here in L.A. for a few years and was relocated to Virginia. Not really sure how far she is from Newport News  but I don't mind connecting you with her. 
  
  http://www.nvul.org/
  
  about the planning, this is a GREAT board and we can all help you every step of the way!!
  
  

  

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• simbidi

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  Honey.... you just described my life!  DH has been a contractor since 2008.  I planned the whole wedding pretty much by myself.... and he paid for it! 

  
  

  It is indeed a sacrifice.  I just got married 11 days ago and my husband left to go back to kuwait on day 9 after the wedding.  You have to look at the long term goal.  We have a beautiful home outside of Houston (just moved here from Maryland), I got a gorgeous car for my birthday and we had our dream wedding.  Now, we are working on furnishing our home and rebuilding our savings so he can come home and start his own business.  Consider what will work out best in the long-run.  You can do it!

  
  
  

  

  
  
  

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• MarryingmyKnight

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  You can do it!  There are MANY women dealing with this situation. I am a military member myself and I feel for you but it will be okay. Maybe you can move back close to your mom until he gets his new location and then move there after the wedding so that way you can plan the wedding with your mother's help. Just a thought.  You got this lady! 

  Until the first full year of being one!

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• happe2gether member

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  @ irons - hang in there.. I have been in your shoes before and it is possible to "do it all". I would only suggest you FI finds out for sure the definite particulars of his contract.  I mean will he be required to serve a minimum # of years.  Where are all the places he can go and how does that affect your future in the long run.  Dallas is a FABULOUS area. I lived in the burbs there for a few eyars and loved it.  Now I'm back in FL (home state) so I can't complain about that easier.  Just weigh the pros and cons because this is a HUGE decision to face as a newly married couple. 
  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_concernedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c4616b25-a625-493a-85be-4bae2762c725Post:c5fb8d94-0a4a-43d8-b824-8306a10462d8">Re: Concerned/vent</a>:
  [QUOTE]I definitely understand your concern because my FI is in the army and we just found yesterday out he will be leaving soon as well.  You got this though, like you said be strong and hold it down until he returns. BTW, can you go with him?  We kinda decided a little while ago that<strong> we wouldn't accept any assignments if I couldn't go as well (I know this is not always an option).</strong> Just an FYI, although this is the best board on the knot, the women on the military board are pretty cool as well.  
  Posted by alpresberry[/QUOTE]  @alpresberry - please keep an open mind about this.  There are definitely some solo assignments in the military and I would hate for that to hinder your FI's career in the military if he only decides to take assignments where there is a follow on for the spouse. I'm just saying.. 

  80 said yes

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• irons633 member

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  Thank you ladies for the words of encouragement. @simbidi when he first signed up did he have to go away for training? Me and him have talked about the long term goals of him going. The ability to pay off bills, student loans and make a nice nest egg for ourselves. Just not looking forward to being in that situation where he isn't there. Wow!!!! 9 days? I know that has to be hard but does he get the time off to come home? @happe2gether yes we are finding out the particulars of his contract and making sure that if we choose to want to move from this area would we be able to. @KsK2012 thank you very much. And I am not a nurse yet, but that is my plan to do once he goes for the contract and I can go full time to obtain that. Yes, if you could contact her I would appreciate it. And I will check that link out. Again, thank you ladies for the words of encouragement!!!!

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• simbidi

  

  September 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_concernedvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c4616b25-a625-493a-85be-4bae2762c725Post:c1a66770-8fd5-411a-8006-a6eadf4e04e0">Re: Concerned/vent</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thank you ladies for the words of encouragement. @simbidi when he first signed up did he have to go away for training? Me and him have talked about the long term goals of him going. The ability to pay off bills, student loans and make a nice nest egg for ourselves. Just not looking forward to being in that situation where he isn't there. Wow!!!! 9 days? I know that has to be hard but does he get the time off to come home?
  Posted by irons633[/QUOTE]<div>
  He had been a firefighter )Airforce trained) for almost 20 years before he became a contractor, so no sadditional training was necessary.  The income potential overseas is crazy, so we are taking advantage of that and paying off bills, saving, etc.  He was in Iraq when we first met (online), so our relationship has been long distance for a good bit of the time.  He gets and R&R every 3-4 months for 10 days or so.  He has to be out of the country at least 330 days out of the year for tax purposes (tax free income!).  Next year, we will plan a revdezvous somewhere!</div><div>
  </div><div>Think it out and talk it over.  You can do it.</div>

  

  
  
  

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