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Engagement Party Invite sent by mistake

mlauthermlauther member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I need some advice. My future mother-in-law wanted to have an engagement party as a way for mine and my fiance's families to get aquainted. So only immediate family and friends were to be invited. One distant cousin- who has 9 siblings- was sent an invitation by mistake. How do I now fix?? Should I invite the other 9 and their spouses, or explain to her it was sent accidentally and my future-in-law's intentions? 
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Re: Engagement Party Invite sent by mistake

  • mlauthermlauther member
    First Comment
    Mine, which is party of the reason for the mistake. My Fi's mother doesn't know who they are. 
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  • NOLAbridealmostNOLAbridealmost member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    Ooof. Tough call. Etiquette-wise you're not obligated to invite the 9 siblings plus spouses, but I have no idea what your family dynamics are like.   Is it going to mortally wound people who find out cousin A was invited but not Cousin's B-J?  My own family is not THAT tight knit so I wouldn't let this one slip mean that I invite another 18 people.   That said, I am fairly confident that in my family, I won't be getting disowned if I invited 1 cousin and not their siblings. 
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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    are the cousins on the wedding guest list and just not the e-party list?  I'm assuming that's how FMIL got the name/address in the first place.  Is this cousin more local / a closer friend than her siblings?

    If there's a closer relationship and thus a logical reason why one cousin would be invited and not the others I think you're probably alright, but like PPs said it depends on your family dynamic.  You definitely should invite this cousin to the wedding if you weren't already planning to.  Again, with her siblings, it depends on the dynamic.

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  • mlauthermlauther member
    First Comment
    I am not very close with this cousin, I would even go as far to say I am closer with some of her siblings, but I am not close enough with any of them for them to be on the engagement party guest list. They are all on the wedding guest list, which is how my FMIL sent the invite to her in the first place. I was going to write a note to expalin, and just explain how the purpose of the engagement party was for our immediate families to get to know each other. 
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  • strlzfan11strlzfan11 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    One thing to remember- an invitation is not a summons.  Your cousin getting an invitation (even if by mistake) doesn't that she'll actually come.  She might look at it and think it's awkward getting invited in the first place and decide not to come.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_engagement-party-invite-sent-by-mistake?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d9717d8e-f53c-408b-acba-aa724a359a9bPost:6510e37e-31e0-48d9-a26b-97034b835345">Re: Engagement Party Invite sent by mistake</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ooof. Tough call. Etiquette-wise you're not obligated to invite the 9 siblings plus spouses, but I have no idea what your family dynamics are like.   Is it going to mortally wound people who find out cousin A was invited but not Cousin's B-J?  My own family is not THAT tight knit so I wouldn't let this one slip mean that I invite another 18 people.   That said, I am fairly confident that in my family, I won't be getting disowned if I invited 1 cousin and not their siblings. 
    Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

    <div>Pretend I said this too.</div>
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I would just ignore it.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    There's no good way to un-invite someone.  I would just let it go and see what happens.  If the other sibings get upset by not receiving an invitation, you can always plead ignorance (after all, it's your FMIL who made the mistake, and not you).
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