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December 2010 Weddings

bridal showers

question... do the bridal shower have to be a surprise ... can the bride plan her own shower?
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Re: bridal showers

  • The bride cannot plan her own shower.  A shower doesn't have to be a suprise, but you shouldn't throw your own party and invite people to give you gifts. 

    Traditionally it was also considered inappropriate for the bride's immediate family members (mother, sister, FMIL) to throw a shower.  Depending on your circle, it's becoming more acceptable for immediate family members to host a shower.
  • I don't think they have to be a surprise... but I don't think you're supposed to throw one for yourself. 
    Married December 18th, 2010 :)
  • No, it doesn't have to be a surprise, and no you shouldn't plan it yourself.  Now I must give full disclosure, I DID help my MOH plan it simply because she lives out of state.  So I picked the venue and got some cute napkins/paper lanterns for decor.  But she did all the heavy lifting.  

    You have enough to plan! :)  Hope this helps!

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  • thank you very much...
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  • definitely don't have to be a surprise, and i don't think it's proper to host your own shower.
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  • throwing your own shower, or having your mother throw it, is supposedly like asking for gifts, as opposed to a friend, or BM, or MOH throwing it- which just makes it a nice suprise and party and time for the bride. My mom is helping my MOH throw mine because she's 19 and busy with college, and it was supposed to be a surprise but she didnt communicate with my party, so my BMs are throwing me one too. communication is key!!
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