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To invite or not to invite...

Heartwood0519Heartwood0519
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I need an unbiased opinion:

I started this job at the end of July and let my bosses know right away that I was getting married and would like time off when that time came.  They obliged and everything was going great.  After a couple months, they implied that they were going to be invited to our wedding. I had planned on inviting them anyway, so it didn't really bother me.  As time has progressed, I've come to realize that the boss I work most closely with has a very flirty personality, not just with me, but with all the girls that work here. It makes me uncomfortable and I cringe every time he comes to my office or calls for something.  I told my fiance about this issue, and he's very uncomfortable with me working in a situation like that as well.

My question is this:  I've already asked my bosses for their addresses for the invites, but I don't want to invite the flirty boss.  I can't not invite just one boss and invite the others.  Can I not invite them all even though I've already asked for their addresses?  I'm mailing our invites out this week and I'm really struggling with this one.  I don't want to feel uncomfortable or have my fiance feel uncomfortable on our big day, but I also don't want to break ettiquette, either.  What would you do?
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Re: To invite or not to invite...

  • bopple321bopple321 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-invite-or-not-to-invite-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:37b33f29-6390-43b1-b4ff-9132fe2e5ce8Post:0f1faaa0-a1ae-40f3-9b80-e60824b7a88a">Re: To invite or not to invite...</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you told them you wanted their addresses for wedding invitations, that counts as a verbal invitation from you.  Not inviting your boss could lead to hard feelings. That being said, is his flirty behavior just an annoying personality trait or is it sexual harassment?  If it's the latter, you should be reporting it to HR and dealing with the issue that way. You're not obligated to invite someone who sexually harasses you.
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

    I agree.  Chances are your boss will just flirt with any other available ladies who attend your wedding (it seems like there's "one of these" at every wedding so I guess it's unavoidable).  Unless he's conducting himself in a truly inapporpriate way, then you're kind of stuck inviting him.  Especially if you already asked for address and made it known it was for the invitations.  Who knows, maybe he won't come!  And also, you're going to be so involved with the day and all the people there that I doubt you'll be bothered by him.  Don't sweat it.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Question, are these bosses (even the flirty one) married or in a relationship?  If so, you also need to invite their significant others.  Maybe if the flirty boss is married/in a relationship he won't act so creepy when his wife/girlfriend is around.

    But yes, since you implied the addresses were for wedding invites you will need to invite them all.

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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_to-invite-or-not-to-invite-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:37b33f29-6390-43b1-b4ff-9132fe2e5ce8Post:0f1faaa0-a1ae-40f3-9b80-e60824b7a88a">Re: To invite or not to invite...</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you told them you wanted their addresses for wedding invitations, that counts as a verbal invitation from you.  Not inviting your boss could lead to hard feelings. That being said, is his flirty behavior just an annoying personality trait or is it sexual harassment?  If it's the latter, you should be reporting it to HR and dealing with the issue that way. You're not obligated to invite someone who sexually harasses you.
    Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]

    ditto all of this.

    image

     

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