FI's cousin demands to be Best Man

TwinsRib · April 2010

I posted this in the "Wedding Party" forum too, but you ladies are so wise I had to post here too....

So FI's cousin came over last night and we were talking about the wedding and he bluts out all excitedly: "So I know I'm your best man right?!" Babe actually laughed out loud, until he realized his cousin was serious then he got serious too and said "C'mon man, you know my twin is gonna be my best man."

His cousins response: "Well, I know I better be in the WP!"
Babe response: "Why don't you just pay for everything that way we can make sure we have everything the way YOU want."
Cousin: (looking confused) "seriously tho, I'm not a grooms man."
Babe: "The wedding is more than a year away, but if you must know, my GM will be D (his twin), D2 (his older brother) and S (his older cousin)."

His cousin was pissed about this and left b/c Babe hadn't chose him as a GM.

First off: How rude to put someone in that position and second, Babe is trying to figure out how to "make things right"... Any suggestions?

Mypasmita · April 2010

Oh my goodness. Crazy people!
Who the heck demands to be a BM or in the bridal party for that matter. On the other hand, i hear him on feeling left out .... but his behavior is unacceptable. He needs to grow up!

cincy2011 · April 2010

I don't think it should be your FI's responsibility to make things right - he was honest and upfront w/ his cousin and then the cousin decided to trip. Not cool!

How old is this cousin? If he's early 20s or younger, I'd say he is just immature. If he's older than that, then he really needs to get it together!

missrekaeagle · April 2010

The cousin was out of line and very immature for acting in that manner. If you and your FI decide that you want to include him in the wedding, maybe he could be an usher. But if you two decide you don't want to deal with him, I can totally understand why.

KSTURGIS · April 2010

Thats a little crazy ! But Im going to take his side in this one, partly. Its sweet that he was so excited and wanted to share in your day. Did he handle it maturely, no. But His feelings were probably just hurt. And we all know how men are babies when their feeling are hurt, when they dont get their way or when they are sick.
I think its nice that fi is trying to make it up to him, he honestly cares about his cousins feelings. In stead of calling him an usher, maybe he can be a host with usher duties.

(I must be in a good mood today, lol)

TwinsRib · April 2010

Thanks for your suggestions ladies, and he is 24 Cincy... which is old enough to know better IMO....

We just had lunch and FI said his cousin called and apologized about storming out, but he had assumed he would be included, (annnd the alcohol didn't help lol) FI said he apologized for not thinking to include him and that he would find another way to make sure he is involved... So I guess, crisis averted for now lol...

Im glad he called tho b/c FI really cares about all his family and tries to be super considerate of everyone (it gets on my nerves sometimes, but is one of the things I love most about him lol) :-)

summerbride11 · April 2010

that is a little crazy. i think ppl don't really understand all the decisions that go into a wedding until they are going through it.

FI can say: "we figured you'd enjoy being a guest rather than having so many responsibilities" (finacial and otherwise).

or

"we decided not to have a huge wedding party, so we didn't think of it as a big deal"
sometimes when wedding parties are so huge, ppl that weren't asked feel left out; just say you guys wanted to keep it minimal.

KMB611 · April 2010

That was rude on his cousin's part. My FI and I agreed that we didn't want our relatives in the wedding because they are not the most dependable people when things need to get done. His cousin needs to learn that you don't ask to be in someone's wedding party! I understand that he's excited, but there are ways to handle this type of issue.

Be prepared for when you have children. He might ask if he's going to be the godfather.

TwinsRib · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fis-cousin-demands-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:7c044cbb-6fee-4ccd-bb9a-147388d87bc6Post:c6eec4d1-026d-495a-b415-7dfa26d1d920">Re: FI's cousin demands to be Best Man</a>:
[QUOTE]That was rude on his cousin's part. My FI and I agreed that we didn't want our relatives in the wedding because they are not the most dependable people when things need to get done. His cousin needs to learn that you don't ask to be in someone's wedding party! I understand that he's excited, but there are ways to handle this type of issue.<strong> Be prepared for when you have children. He might ask if he's going to be the godfather</strong>.
Posted by KMB611[/QUOTE]

OHMIGOODNESS!!!! he already did that when I was pregnant! Lol... FI cut striaght to the chase with that with a resounding NO! lol...