Wedding Party

Bridesmaid/SIL question

I am getting married at a very small wedding in 3 weeks. My sister is maid of honour, my fiance's best friend is best man. It's a very rapid wedding (engaged March 13) so it's a small wedding with about 20-22 people, including us.

We got a package that only includes a bouquet for the maid of honour. Should I order a bouquet for my future SIL to be a bridesmaid? My fiance asked her to be a flower girl... but she's 27, lol. She's in Australia so there's absolutely no way to have her have a dress that matches my sister's but this is not terribly important to me.

Thoughts?

Re: Bridesmaid/SIL question

  • Does she want to be a flower girl?  Usually the whole adult flower girl thing only works if it's that person's idea.

    If you really want her standing up with you, ask her to.  If your FI really wants her up there with him, she can stand on his side.  If neither of you want her up there, she can attend as a guest.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • If she is not offended by being the FG, then let her be. There is no rule against it. And don't feel pressured to include her on your side. If your FI wants her to stand up in the wedding, she can be on his side.
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  • That's really up to you and your FI.

    I think she would understand that it's a small wedding and your sister is your honor attendant. But on the other hand, if she would be the only sibling left out (assuming you and FI each have only one sibling), she might be a bit bummed.

    I'm in the camp that says that siblings ought to be included unless there's a very good reason not to. I don't think you'd be an awful person to just have your sister (especially if there are other siblings involved and then you'd have to include all of them), but I also think it's a nice gesture to include your FSIL and it'll go a long way with his relatives since you're becoming a new member of his family.

    I would ask her to wear a dress in your basic color scheme ... or she can wear a black dress and stand up as your FI's groomswoman or a co-Honor Attendant. alk to your FI and see how he feels.
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  • Ditto Aerin.

    If you want her to be a BM, ask her.  If you don't, she can stand on your FI's side or she can just be a guest.  Personally, I would ask her, but I don't know her or your relationship with her.

    Don't worry about the dress.  She can wear whatever, or you can ask her to wear whatever color your MOH is wearing.  
  • Ask her what she would prefer to do and then let her do that.  Because the wedding is so close, if she says she wants to be a BM, I'd just ask her to wear a little black dress or a dress that she already owns. 
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  • If you are close with her and want her to stand up there with you... ask her....
    If its more that your FI wants here there... then like everyone else said... have her stand on his side in a nice black dress
  • If you'd like her to be up there with you, just ask.  She could always wear a simple cocktail dress. 
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