Post Wedding Sadness...

KBabe076 · June 2012

Hey everyone - my wedding day was June 2nd and the day was perfect! It was absolutely gorgeous! Today is my first day back at work and I'm depressed to be back after the wedding and honeymoon in Jamaica. I feel like I'm being thrown back into normal life and it sucks! Our engagement was 18 months so we had wedding on the brain for so long that it's weird that it's over.

Is anyone else feeling this? And how are you coping? I'm trying to think about our next steps as a couple (buying a house/job searching) but it's really tough.

KBabe076 · June 2012

sorry guys! I didn't realize there was already a discussion on this a few days ago...!

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

We felt that way back in Aug. after coming back from our Hawaii HM, which was a dream trip and like paradise. I had a week left before work started for the year (I'm a teacher) and I had to finish Graduate school homework, so it pretty much sucked getting thrown back into real life. I would say it take us a good 2-3 weeks to get back into a routine and get over the fact that our HM was over.

KBabe076 · June 2012

i wish i would have had a week after the honeymoon - i only had 2 days. i'm thinking it prob will take me a few weeks to get back to life. did you do anything to help get yourself used to everyday life again?

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

We tried to hang out with friends a lot and do some fun things too instead of just work, housework, etc. I made myself start going to the gym again regularly. I always find that after an awesome vacation, I feel a little "down" for a week or so because this really awesome thing you've been looking forward to forever is now over and it's kind of a let-down. My best advice is to make yourself start doing things in your old routine (like if you went to the gym or met a friend for coffee every week, etc) and eventually it's just habit again.

AmyNoelle · June 2012

Yes, having the MAJOR post wedding blues. My wedding was just Saturday the 9th. We took a day off and came back to work Tuesday, will honeymoon next week. My day was PERFECT, everything was just as we dreamed. I was so unprepared for how I felt when the dust settled, the guests all went home and FI and were at home on Sunday with all the gifts and cards opened. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Poor FI was struggling to understand.....like aren't I happy to be married? Of course! But the magic you feel planning, counting down the days, surrounded by family and loved ones, wow, there is nothing like it until maybe the birth of a child!

I almost couldn't get on here today for fear it may make me sadder, first time since the wedding. I finally got the courage and was glad to find this board and the OP's post. Thanks for sharing and listening ladies

Cackle6 · June 2012

I got married May 26th, and I think I'm finally starting to get back to normal. I was pretty depressed for a while after the wedding, and I think I finally figured it out - our day was amazing, but looking back, it all felt like an out of body experience. So while I had an amzing time, I think part of me is sad that I didn't feel more "in the moment" if that makes sense. I work weddings as a side job and for a lot of the day I felt like I was just working on someone else's wedding, it was really surreal. I'm starting to get my photo's now though and that's helping to make it more real. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, the whole thing has been really weird, tbh.

Now I'm throwing myself into re-doing our kitchen, planning a big girls night at the house, and planning a big end of summer celebration at the house. Hopefully that will help take my mind off the fact that there's no more wedding to plan.

mattycam · June 2012

I totally understand how you feel. It's like all that work leading up to your day and now it's back to "normal". When you get your photos and/or video, it will be easier to not feel so blue because you will always have the memories that you can view at any time. As the months go by it will get better but I am glad you had an amazing day!

firsttimersluck · June 2012

This is VERY common among brides.. You spend so much time and energy into this special day and then the HM is a kickbutt vaca that it's sucky to come home to reality..

We didn't get a HM.. In fact, we specifically chose our wedding date so that H wouldn't be sent away anywhere (he is Navy) and STILL, they sent him away the day after our wedding.. for a month.

Pretty much blew. No HM and no even first month of being a married couple TOGETHER.

Ya just have to suck it up and keep going.. Once you settle back into your routine, it'll subside.

Maybe you can pick a date night and start a fun tradition. That way you always have something to look forward to.. (H is away now as well, but when he IS home, Friday nights are our Pizza and Wine nights.. We love it.. It's the most amazing thing to look forward to after a long week)

You'll feel better when you get pictures back as well

That was suuuper exciting for us!

GinaANdSteve312 · June 2012

My Mother-In-Law said to get started on a family if I found myself missing the planning..... eek!

KBabe076 · June 2012

Thanks! I do feel better now that I've been seeing some pictures put on Facebook and it's not my first day back anymore so that helps.

AmyNoelle, I couldn't imagine going back to work the tuesday after my wedding and having to wait a week for my honeymoon! Your one tough cookie! haha I would have been freaking out excited all week and my head would not be at work at all. And I'm completely the same way with different emotions. My husband has been so understanding but I'm sure he's confused. haha It has to be all of that magic of everything then it's over.

AmyNoelle · June 2012

Thanks KBabe

For me, when I'm sad about something (like the wedding being over), I have to get back to my routine and take my mind off it which is why work actually helped. And I got some normalcy before the honeymoon so that when the honeymoon is over, it won't feel like as much of a shock coming back to work again.

I keep telling all the girls I know who are planning right now to enjoy every second because it flies!!

SammiG0203 · June 2012

Oh my gosh! I got married on 6/3/12 AND honeymooned in Jamaica and feel the exact same way!! My wedding felt like it lasted an hour (in reality it was 4 1/2) and I am so depressed that it is all over with : ( I try my hardest to just not think about it, or I just tell everyone the details of my honeymoon so I can relive it and pretend like I'm there still! I know this wasn't extremely helpful, but at least you know you aren't alone! Where did you stay in Jamaica?

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_post-wedding-sadness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:b918277d-5837-4d3b-858e-c205bd259f5ePost:dde8380b-43a9-44ee-aee8-024de6b44d9d">Post Wedding Sadness...</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey everyone - my wedding day was June 2nd and the day was perfect! It was absolutely gorgeous! Today is my first day back at work and I'm depressed to be back after the wedding and honeymoon in Jamaica. I feel like I'm being thrown back into normal life and it sucks! Our engagement was 18 months so we had wedding on the brain for so long that it's weird that it's over. Is anyone else feeling this? And how are you coping? I'm trying to think about our next steps as a couple (buying a house/job searching) but it's really tough.
Posted by KBabe076[/QUOTE]

angelsong21 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_post-wedding-sadness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:12Discussion:b918277d-5837-4d3b-858e-c205bd259f5ePost:78e9b6b1-f518-49ae-857a-ad71f18f5839">Re: Post Wedding Sadness...</a>:
[QUOTE]This is VERY common among brides.. You spend so much time and energy into this special day and then the HM is a kickbutt vaca that it's sucky to come home to reality.. We didn't get a HM.. In fact, we specifically chose our wedding date so that H wouldn't be sent away anywhere (he is Navy) and STILL, they sent him away the day after our wedding.. for a month. Pretty much blew. No HM and no even first month of being a married couple TOGETHER. Ya just have to suck it up and keep going.. Once you settle back into your routine, it'll subside. Maybe you can pick a date night and start a fun tradition. That way you always have something to look forward to.. (H is away now as well, but when he IS home, Friday nights are our Pizza and Wine nights.. We love it.. It's the most amazing thing to look forward to after a long week) You'll feel better when you get pictures back as well :) That was suuuper exciting for us!
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I agree with all of this. Minus the Navy part, this was all true for us, too. I was incredibly unprepared for how I would feel after the wedding. The R, RD, and wedding all went by in a flash. I felt like I hardly blinked and it was all over. On our wedding day, I ended up getting ready with my niece and a room full of screaming kids - NOT what I had envisioned. Nothing about it when I was getting ready felt special. :( My dad hauled ass down the aisle, our ceremony was over in about 10 minutes, and we were on to the reception. And then, it was over. We were back in our hotel room eating leftovers and I fell asleep.</div><div>
</div><div>We didn't have a HM either, persay. We spent two days in a hotel about 20 minutes away from where we live, then it was back to work. I was really depressed about it, which H did not understand but was patient enough to put up with me. I have never been one to enjoy being the center of attention, but I guess for this one time only I really like all the love from family and friends and the excitement we all shared about the wedding. There was nothing to plan anymore, but I kept finding myself looking through the wedding section at Michaels or whatever and I would catch myself and think, "<em>WTF are you doing, you BSC woman?!? You are ALREADY MARRIED.</em>" That's pretty embarrassing to admit, but its the truth.</div><div>
</div><div>It sucks that its over, but you have so many other things to start looking forward to!

</div>

KBabe076 · June 2012

All of your posts have definitely made me feel not alone! I feel even better than I did a week ago. :-) We stayed in Montego Bay at the Sunspree Resort for a week. Where did you stay? How did you like it? It was very pretty there.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_post-wedding-sadness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:b918277d-5837-4d3b-858e-c205bd259f5ePost:ab9b94de-c193-4938-8bf1-4cbde23ffd4f">Re: Post Wedding Sadness...</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my gosh! I got married on 6/3/12 AND honeymooned in Jamaica and feel the exact same way!! My wedding felt like it lasted an hour (in reality it was 4 1/2) and I am so depressed that it is all over with : ( I try my hardest to just not think about it, or I just tell everyone the details of my honeymoon so I can relive it and pretend like I'm there still! I know this wasn't extremely helpful, but at least you know you aren't alone! Where did you stay in Jamaica? n Response to Post Wedding Sadness... :
Posted by SammiG0203[/QUOTE]

KBabe076 · June 2012

Going back to my routine has helped a bit - we haven't had much time to get back to normal though. I had another wedding and graduation party this past weekend and they were both out of town so we haven't had any time to get our townhouse back in order or start thank yous.

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_post-wedding-sadness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:b918277d-5837-4d3b-858e-c205bd259f5ePost:5fa88159-d98c-4018-b284-15d6ece0eefe">Re: Post Wedding Sadness...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks KBabe For me, when I'm sad about something (like the wedding being over), I have to get back to my routine and take my mind off it which is why work actually helped. And I got some normalcy before the honeymoon so that when the honeymoon is over, it won't feel like as much of a shock coming back to work again. I keep telling all the girls I know who are planning right now to enjoy every second because it flies!!
Posted by AmyNoelle[/QUOTE]

adfoster77 · June 2012

I have yet to be a bride, but I can relate to the post-(fill in the blank) sadness. After I returned from a 2 week trip to Italy, I was majorly bummed.

The thing to do? Keep yourself busy. Eventually, you won't even notice that you miss the experience. Photos are the key to remembering just how great it was.

Also, plan your next adventure to get excited about.

scooterpie7 · June 2012

I agree with adfoster - planning another adventure helps so much. We are going to Europe next month - four months after the wedding - and planning and organising that has been great. Also hand-painting and printing our thank you cards, as well as printing off a whole bunch of photos to put in the envelopes with the cards, was a fun post-wedding diy craft to ease my way out of the wedding stuff.

hilzy · June 2012

I think I can relate too!
We had our destination wedding in Maine on June 15th, and everything ended up going perfectly:) The thing is, once we returned home, I couldn't shake this tired feeling that I would get only when asked about the wedding. At first I thought I was just getting over the stress of setting it up all long distance and then making sure our guests were happy, and being in the car for many MANY hours. But now I'm thinking I have/had a touch of the post wedding blues.

Luckily I have another "back-at-home" reception to plan and get all excited about. Maybe I'll follow that up with a winter trip to keep the blues away!

Thanks for your post & all of your responses!!

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