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Walking Down the Aisle...

imabride227imabride227 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
My mom is the only parent involved, and she wants to walk me down the aisle. However, I've always been independent and don't like the thought of being given away. I'm also the one paying for and doing all of the planning for my wedding. Since I don't want to be walked down, my mom plays the guilt card and says she feels unappreciated and left out. How can I incorporate her while still doing what I want?
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Re: Walking Down the Aisle...

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Your mom walking you down the aisle doesn't mean she's giving you away.  It means she's escorting you down the aisle.

    If your mom really wants to do this,  frankly, I'd be inclined to say do it.  Just have her walk you down, give you kiss and go to her seat.  Then in the course of the ceremony, leave out the part about "who gives this woman?" which doesn't have to be asked at all.

    In the big scheme of things, this sounds like a relatively small battle to wage a war over.  I think you pick your battles, and only you can decide if this one's really worth fighting or not.  GL

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • CTGirl30CTGirl30
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Since you are not a peice of property to be given away, I'd view this is as more of Mom just wanting to escort you down the aisle. She probably wants to have that moment with you as the one parent who has been involved in raising you and it sounds like it means a lot to her.  And I agree that you can most definately ask your officiant to leave out the "Who gives this woman in marriage?" type question.

    She can walk you down, you can have a quick hug or kiss and then she can sit down. It doesn't have to be an antiquated symbol. OR, you could consider doing as my cousin did with his wife. Her parents escorted her to the start of the aisle and her husband met her there and then they walked the rest of the way together, just the two of them, up to the front to begin their ceremony together.
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Some ceremonies (I think its Catholic) they give "gifts" or flowers to the parents. You could also do a Mother/Daughter dance. MOB/MOG also light the candles so I'm not sure what else you can give her so that she will lay off the guilt trip of escorting you (FYI anyone can escort you, don't get too caught up by the old "giving this woman away" tradition). 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Parents can walk the bride and/or groom down the aisle to signify their support for the marriage. My DD is thinking about having the g's parents walk him, and having her father and I walk her. We are not giving her away.

    In a Catholic marriage ceremony the 'gifts' are the bread and wine that are brought to the altar for Eucharist. Sometimes the moms present the gifts, but any family member can do that. 
                       
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This:

    you could consider doing as my cousin did with his wife. Her parents escorted her to the start of the aisle and her husband met her there and then they walked the rest of the way together, just the two of them, up to the front to begin their ceremony together.
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  • jamlynlawjamlynlaw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    omg I actually had to check who wrote this becayse I thought I did...  I feel the same exact way!!!  I want to walk myself down because 
    I feel like  she raised me to be very independent and my mom is silently giving me the guilty look.  Maybe have her walk you half way done the isle since she raised you to be so independent and then you walk the other half to your soon to be husband!  Please let me know what you decide :)  THanks 
    Our Big Day! 9-10-2011
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  • daniellemarie13daniellemarie13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is my same situation too!!! I'm walking myself down, no question about it! My mother will walk down the aisle after all of the guests are seated, prior to the bridal party's entrance...then she will also give a speech at the reception.
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