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HELP! Children at the wedding

jessdaisy11jessdaisy11 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I did a preliminary guest list and there are 25 kids on the list!  I'm concerned that this is too many.

His family is from out of town and have small children (under 3).  We absolutely need 8 children there since they are in some way directly tied to the wedding.  But what about everyone else's kids?  I don't want to have to worry about what to do for the kids and should I do anything special and the such.  This seems to be a dilemma since he's pretty insistent on who he wants there....HELP!
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Re: HELP! Children at the wedding

  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    What would you do differently for kids? You may want to ask your caterer if there are any child options on the menu, but otherwise, they'll be fine. I had a bunch of kids at my wedding. You don't have to get a blow-up bouncy castle or anything.
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eaa3c03-2794-4f89-9e1b-de758543b6bePost:4600b27b-4ad2-4c2c-b398-bda7e487fa5f">HELP! Children at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I did a preliminary guest list and there are 25 kids on the list!  I'm concerned that this is too many. His family is from out of town and have small children (under 3).  We absolutely need 8 children there since they are in some way directly tied to the wedding.  But what about everyone else's kids?  I don't want to have to worry about what to do for the kids and should I do anything special and the such.  This seems to be a dilemma since he's pretty insistent on who he wants there....HELP!
    Posted by jessdaisy11[/QUOTE]
    What, exactly, are you worried about doing differently? Food? I don't know about your venue, but mine does a per head charge for food and booze, and obviously since the kids won't be drinking (or eating as much), they do a discounted head price for the kids. Are you worried about them during the reception? Personally, I don't think you HAVE to do anything special for kids at a reception, but you could put together little activity bags with coloring books and whatnot. Or just let their parents make the decision on whether or not they want to bring the kids and what to do with them during the wedding and reception. Don't freak out though. Tell us what, specifically, you're worried about and you'll get better advice.
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  • FutureMrsTRFutureMrsTR
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary
    I wish I'd had a blow up bouncy castle at MY wedding :(
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  • marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eaa3c03-2794-4f89-9e1b-de758543b6bePost:4600b27b-4ad2-4c2c-b398-bda7e487fa5f">HELP! Children at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I did a preliminary guest list and there are 25 kids on the list!  I'm concerned that this is too many. His family is from out of town and have small children (under 3).  We absolutely need 8 children there since they are in some way directly tied to the wedding.  But what about everyone else's kids?  I don't want to have to worry about what to do for the kids and should I do anything special and the such.  This seems to be a dilemma since he's pretty insistent on who he wants there....HELP!
    Posted by jessdaisy11[/QUOTE]

    <div>25 is about what I have.  Ask your caterer if they have a kids menu, and actually if they don't I'd ask if they'd be comfortable with you getting a kids menu from a local restaurant catered.  I don't think you need to pay $30 per kid if that's what your wondering.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm also putting together a kids activity table - coloring books, a few easy crafts, glow sticks.  </div>
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  • qwerty777qwerty777
    100 Comments
    I'm cofused about why this is a problem. I understand if you didn't want kids at all, but that doesn't seem to be it. We had roughly 40 kids there, and their parents took care of them. The caterer offered a kids meal, so we did that, and gave them all their own favors (small coloring books, homemade crayons, chalk, and glow bracelets). I also had a bunch of extra coloring books and crayons to just throw on a table for all the kdis to go at.
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  • jessdaisy11jessdaisy11 member
    First Comment
    I guess I'm concerned about the event feeling like it's being over run by kids. 

    My fiance keeps asking what we're going to do for the kids - he has so far suggested a jungle gym and a maypole - neither of which I want. 

    When I send out the invites, is it better to just let the parents decide whether or not to bring the kids?  My budget doesn't allow for 'specials' for children - may it be food or anything else. 

    Thanks for your input!
    Jess
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  • LDYGTR13LDYGTR13 member
    2500 Comments
    The kids were pretty much the best part of my wedding! They were dancing, being adorable and making everyone laugh all night! We had about...15 kids maybe? The best pictures are of the kids dancing with us. We had BBQ for dinner, but we made sure there were chicken fingers for the kids (which the adults ate as well of course) - I know there's not room in the budget for EXTRA stuff for the kids, but what about something that might be enjoyed by everyone? Good luck!
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  • waltzingmatilda13waltzingmatilda13 member
    2500 Comments
    Just make sure you have kid friendly food and you should be okay. Don't most kids find their own entertainment anyway? I think my niece would rather play with a cardboard box than the gift that came in it. They will manage or their parents will manage them with things they bring.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm in the camp that you can invite some kids and not all.  

    BUT you need to be consistent  at a catergory level.  For example you can invite siblings, nieces/nephews, your own children and first cousins, but not co-workers kids.   If you truely do not want that many kids, find something that works, but inviting some friends kids and not others ends up with hurt parents.

    As far as activities, I grew up attended weddings and we never got bored.  I'm old and didn't have all the stuff kids have these days to keep them occupied,  we always managed to have fun without getting in trouble when there were other kids around.   You can set up an activity table if you want.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • ehathewaehathewa
    1000 Comments
    See if there is a kids meal option at the venue...  As for the reception most children are happy to be dancing, eating cake, having kiddie cocktails and talking to other kids.
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  • lisalou402lisalou402 member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    How much does renting a jungle gym cost? it can't be cheap! 
    Dollar store coloring books and crayons sound a lot cheaper.

    Where do you even get a maypole?
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  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eaa3c03-2794-4f89-9e1b-de758543b6bePost:4e7267ae-6a0e-4ebd-83ac-53f279b77d93">Re: HELP! Children at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]The 1500's called. They would like their maypole back. 
    Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    I love watching kids dance at weddings!  They never stop!  How old are the children in question?  Are they all toddlers?  Or are some older?
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  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    Salt, your first comment made me CQTM. Your second one made me LOL.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    10000 Comments
    Two of the kids at our wedding almost fell into the pond trying to touch the alligator. We probably should have planned a maypole or something to keep them entertained.

    Other than the kid's menu, I wouldn't worry about it. We had maybe 10 or 12 kids and they either played with each other in the grass or their parents kept them at the table. I hardly noticed they were there.
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  • jessienjeremyjessienjeremy
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eaa3c03-2794-4f89-9e1b-de758543b6bePost:8e41e929-acb9-43bc-b236-4e9958fd4fee">Re: HELP! Children at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wish I'd had a blow up bouncy castle at MY wedding :(
    Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

    My FI owns a inflatable games company... I might be able to get you a deal!
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  • sister2groomsister2groom
    1000 Comments
    You can only get away with inviting some kids and not others if there are reasons that would be obvious to everyone, e.g. kids of immediate family members only. Inviting one friend's kids just because they were the right age ti be your flower girl/ring bearer is not the best.
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  • The Mel and Todd ShowThe Mel and Todd Show
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-wedding-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6eaa3c03-2794-4f89-9e1b-de758543b6bePost:4e7267ae-6a0e-4ebd-83ac-53f279b77d93">Re: HELP! Children at the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]The 1500's called. They would like their maypole back. 
    Posted by salt78[/QUOTE]

    This made me snort. 
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    Bloggy Mel.

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  • britne28britne28
    500 Comments
    The kids meals at our wedding were less than half the price of the adult meals.  The kids loved the bubbles we had and they spent most of the time blowing bubbles at us while we were dancing. I wouldn't stress too much about entertaining them.
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