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Best seating plan?

Star76344Star76344
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We're having around 160 people at our wedding, which ends up being  20 tables at the venue. Here's the issue: My mom, dad and the caterer all think that we should have open seating. I'm concerned with this plan because I've read on here that you need to have extra seats, but we don't really have extra room in the venue for more tables. My mom says that people will just figure it out and that we're all friends (i.e., that we don't need to add extra tables). None of the family weddings I've been to have had assigned seating/tables and my mom thinks it makes it too formal.

Our walkthrough at the venue s this afternoon and now I'm not sure what to do. WWYD? Do you have a preference for seating types? 
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Re: Best seating plan?

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    btrflykate1230btrflykate1230 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    for that many people, I would do assigned tables, but not assigned seating. I would hate to see two tables of 9 left and have to split up with my FI and sit at different tables.
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    akhensley81akhensley81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I have about the same number, and I plan on assigning tables. We're also doing plated dinners, so that will help make it easier for the servers to figure out who's getting what meal.

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    Married!

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    CellesCelles member
    Combo Breaker First Comment

    I'd definitely do assigned tables. Otherwise, you may end up inadvertantly separating couples and families if they aren't able to find seats together.

    Explain to your mom that it's a logistics thing; not a formality thing. 

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    frogurt814frogurt814
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would go with assigned seating.  My FSIL says that is one of her biggest regrets about her wedding day...not having assigned seating.

    FI and I went to a wedding a couple of years ago, where we only really knew the bride and groom.  There was not assigned seating, and no one sat with us.  We sat at a table by ourselves for two hours (it took the B&G that long to get there...they were doing pictures).  We ended up leaving before dinner was served because we were so bored. 

    With assigned seating, if you have some people that might not know anyone at the reception, you can seat them with people you know they would be able to talk to.
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    Star76344Star76344
    First Comment
    That definitely makes sense for plated dinners. We're doing a buffet, but the salads will be pre-plated on the tables.
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    jnic0319jnic0319
    First Comment
    Assigned tables 100%.  The last wedding went to without it was horrible, grandparents in the back, bridal party SO with no seats, it was horrible.  You don't need assigned seating though.
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    Star76344Star76344
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_seating-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6605ed38-92d5-4834-9b9a-db7718497294Post:d05635cb-93b4-4fac-be06-faf4fa3b7b48">Re: Best seating plan?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd definitely do assigned tables. Otherwise, you may end up inadvertantly separating couples and families if they aren't able to find seats together. <strong>Explain to your mom that it's a logistics thing; not a formality thing. </strong>
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    This is perfect. I'm not trying to make the reception more formal. I just want it to flow well and for everyone to have a good time.
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    balasjbalasj
    First Comment
    Definitely need to organize somehow.  I've heard a lot of talk about this lately and it would just be too much disorder.  Better to take some time in advance and assign everyone to a table. 
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    gypsybride2010gypsybride2010 member
    First Comment
    I agree with PP. You don't need assigned seats, but definitely assigned tables to make sure that families are able to stay together, older people are far away from the speakers, etc. It will just make everything so much easier in my opinion.
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    Star76344Star76344
    First Comment
    Thanks for all the great advice!
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    JennaV26JennaV26
    First Comment
    I like the idea of doing assigned tables, but not seating.

    I haven't been planning on doing assigned tables or seats because I hate going places where I'm told where to sit. I got stuck at a wedding last fall where I was put at a table with some people from HS who I hate and I know I was put there because the couple thought those were the only people I knew... I was even sat away from my whole family... accross the entire room!

    But you ladies make valid points. I, too, am now considering assigned tables!
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    flutgrl1flutgrl1
    First Comment
    edited May 2010
    if you have the space and budget for extra tables and centerpieces I would totally go with the open seating idea. Nothing is more disappointing that being stuck at a table all evening! Let people mingle and have fun. I've seen people leave weddings because of a bad assigned seat. Telling people where to sit on your day strikes me as overly controlling. Adults can seat themselves.

    We had 200ish people and open seating.It worked out fine. People found seats no one was left out (unless they wanted to be!)
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