I'm needing you ladies as a sounding board!
My MOH was over on Saturday night and we were talking about the wedding. She seemed to be a little upset because she hasn't been included on the actual booking of vendors for the wedding and ive been spending a little bit more time with one of my other BM's who is going through a divorce. However, MOH feels that I am doing wedding planning with this BM, even though i'm not!
FI and I have booked the venue (which I brought MOH to after we booked it), Ceremony Music (which I picked online), and photographer, and videographer. Should I have included her in on some of these during the booking phase? I thought these vendors were more for FI and I to pick out -- but she seems to feel that she should have been involved somehow too? She is saying she just wants to be helpful and I kindly replied that I haven't done too much really because we still have so much time to get started and start picking things, and I promised her that I haven't done anything wedding-detail related.
I thought that answer would have settled it, but then she brought it up again and was like "well if you want BM to be your MOH, I won't be offended, it seems like you are planning with her..." and we haven't done any planning whatsoever together! Now I feel almost compelled to get started on other stuff so her and I can do it together, even though i'd rather wait because I haven't decided on a heck of a whole lot of detail.
I will be honest and say that i've fallen off the radar this summer a little bit because 1 - we moved to a house which is now 40 min away from MOH's house, 2 - the transition of FI and I living together has been a little rough, manageable -- but rough, 3 - we got a puppy which requires a lot of time and dedication, and 4 -- shes a teacher and has off all summer, where I have a 8-5 job, where my commute is now 1.5 hours to work and 1.5 hours home from work. Ive been busy and not hanging out as much -- but not intentionally. I've tried to explain all of this to her -- but I think her real focus was that I was doing wedding stuff with BM.
I don't know how to put MOH at ease.