Registry for House Deposit

prettynpink128 · December 2010

My husband and I are having a destination wedding in California (we live in MA) so we can't take gifts home. Plus, we would rather get money so that we can get a house. Does anyone know a website or company that handles taking money for that? I found one: http://www.hatchmyhouse.com/ but I don't know if it is on the level or not.

If anyone can help that would be great! Thanks!!

rknox88 · December 2010

Don't register-most people will get that you prefer cash.

Blatantly registering for money, as you would be doing by registering for a house deposit, is incredibly rude.

sister2groom · December 2010

I find house deposit/honeymoon registries rude. Also, people can guess you're young newlyweds who want to save up for a house. It's obvious money would be a appreciated. Just have a small registry or none at all and if people ask about what you want, tell them you're saving up for a house.

tldh · December 2010

Can we please get a sticky up top about honeymoon/mortgage/any other guise to have a cash registry at the top of this page already????

OP - this is among the rudest things you can do. Set up a small registry and people will take the hint to give money.

MNVegas · December 2010

Yuck! I find cash registries distasteful. Do you really have to ask your guests to give you money? I would think they would already know cash is appreciated without being asked for it.

jagore08 · December 2010

Don't register at all. People will figure it out and give you checks without having to go through a website.

GoBucksOH · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:af4bc339-5ae1-4987-8990-e3fa0b8f1087">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong><em>This is gross and beyond tacky. Do you know how many people are struggling to pay their mortgages and avoid foreclosure? And you want them to buy you a house?! Talk about entitled.
</em></strong>Posted by MTooms[/QUOTE]

THIS...

I don't think you could get MORE tacky than registering for your mortgage. Let me guess, you would also like to register for a honeymoon??

Why is it that every time one of these questions are posted, its always by someone with less than 5 previous posts???

trix1223 · December 2010

And I thought registering for a honeymoon was tasteless. How about be a grown-up and pay for your own housing.

nda_roxybabe · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:abc7cdfe-cc00-488d-a3c6-5d224c2fb32a">Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I are having a destination wedding in California (we live in MA) so we can't take gifts home. Plus, we would rather get money so that we can get a house. Does anyone know a website or company that handles taking money for that? I found one: <a href="http://www.hatchmyhouse.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hatchmyhouse.com/</a> but I don't know if it is on the level or not. If anyone can help that would be great! Thanks!!
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]
I see this the same as asking for cash which is just tacky.

ckonidak · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:c4edf8ac-2a36-4d02-8332-4a8c4d08f053">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]I know you're not really asking for opinions on doing this, but I would maybe re-think it. It kind of reminds me of a honeymoon registry, which a lot of times, isn't looked upon favorably. It's essentially asking for money. I don't know how these websites work, but with honeymoon websites, many take out a chunk for a fee and it's essentially the website cutting you a check. To me, it's rude to ask for money. What you could do is have your parents and WP know that you are saving for a deposit and when guests ask them where you're registered, they could say you are not registered anywhere but are saving for a house down payment. They'll get the idea you want money.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

I think this was a very classy and honest response to your post OP. I know it can be hard to hear, but I think this advice is great. GL

Vanessa&Tony · December 2010

Honestly,

I think even asking people to "spread the word" that you want cash is TACKY.

Advertising your registries...TACKY! Even on the bridal shower invites! But that's just me.

Just don't register and don't worry about gifts. That's not what this day is about.

If your not going to do a traditional registry that people can find on their own IF they choose to buy you a gift...then you are having a wedding for the WRONG reason.

Registries are simply a guide if someone doesn't know what to get you...not expected!

Galaxy8227 · December 2010

I would find it very tacky if people were asking me to help pay for their house.

Summer2011Bride · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:4317c979-1646-47b7-a4d8-f297231e4414">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly<strong>, I think even asking people to "spread the word" that you want cash is TACKY. Advertising your registries...TACKY! </strong>Even on the bridal shower invites! But that's just me. Just don't register and don't worry about gifts. That's not what this day is about. If your not going to do a traditional registry that people can find on their own IF they choose to buy you a gift...then you are having a wedding for the WRONG reason. Registries are simply a guide if someone doesn't know what to get you...not expected!
Posted by Vanessa&Tony[/QUOTE]

Before wedding websites, the main way people found out where the couple was registered was by either asking the couple or the parents or members of the WP. Of course none of those people should say, "They want cash," but by saying they are not registered anywhere and just focusing on saving, that is getting the information across without being tacky.

I'm also not sure what you meant by advertising registries. It is considered "the norm" to put a link to your registries on your wedding website. Do you also consider it "advertising" for the WP to tell people when asked where you are registered? If both of these things are true, I'm not sure how you think people are ever going to find out where someone is registered. They would either have to be psychic or go to every single store where people commonly register and try to find out by themselves. To me, that would be tacky.

prettynpink128 · December 2010

Don't be such a jerk! I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and I am disgusted with you. I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.

frogurt814 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:60009958-e527-49dd-ad09-be8f3018559f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be such a<strong> jerk!</strong> I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and<strong> I am disgusted with you.</strong> I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because<u><strong> if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.</strong></u>
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]
Take your own advice, OP.

GoBucksOH · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:60009958-e527-49dd-ad09-be8f3018559f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be such a jerk! I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and I am disgusted with you. I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]

This made me LOL. I will never understand why some girls come on here and ask for advice then cry when they hear something they dont like.

tldh · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:60009958-e527-49dd-ad09-be8f3018559f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be such a jerk! I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and I am disgusted with you. I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]

LOL!!!

This is the second time in two days I've seen a Newb yelling for the veterans to get off TK because they didn't like what was posted. Apparently having planned and lived through our own weddings makes us unqualified to give advice.

OP - the intenational boards give tough love and will tell you when something is a bad idea. If you want puppies and rainbows I suggest you try TK's club boards (your month board) and local boards. The international ones don't tiptoe around as we assume you are an adult who can handle honest opinions.

tldh · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:abc7cdfe-cc00-488d-a3c6-5d224c2fb32a">Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I are having a destination wedding in California (we live in MA) so we can't take gifts home. Plus, we would rather get money so that we can get a house. Does anyone know a website or company that handles taking money for that? I found one: <a href="http://www.hatchmyhouse.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hatchmyhouse.com/</a> but I don't know if it is on the level or not. If anyone can help that would be great! Thanks!!
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]

JIC

impslave · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:60009958-e527-49dd-ad09-be8f3018559f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be such a jerk! I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and I am disgusted with you. I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]

<div>It's irrelevant whether you are asking people to pay for your deposit, closing costs or the whole thing. What you are want to do is inconsiderate at best, and downright insensitive and greedy at worst.</div><div>
</div><div>I work for a bankruptcy law practice and am deluged everyday with cases of people who are having their homes foreclosed. Yesterday, I had to talk a 59-year-old lady off the ledge. She can no longer afford her home because her husband has over $17,000 in medical bills. They do not have insurance and he is two years from qualifying for Medicare. So, they have to surrender their house back to the bank. She called me yesterday to seek assurance that she wouldn't be directed to vacate this month because her grandchildren were coming for Christmas.</div><div>
</div><div>Before you do something so vile and rude, put things into perspective. What if one of your possible wedding guests is going through a similar situation?</div><div>
</div><div>Frankly, you disgust me.</div>

tldh · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:35de2cbf-9894-4a21-95d5-1986402b8a9c">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry for House Deposit : It's irrelevant whether you are asking people to pay for your deposit, closing costs or the whole thing. What you are want to do is inconsiderate at best, and downright insensitive and greedy at worst. I work for a bankruptcy law practice and am deluged everyday with cases of people who are having their homes foreclosed. Yesterday, I had to talk a 59-year-old lady off the ledge. She can no longer afford her home because her husband has over $17,000 in medical bills. They do not have insurance and he is two years from qualifying for Medicare. So, they have to surrender their house back to the bank. She called me yesterday to seek assurance that she wouldn't be directed to vacate this month because her grandchildren were coming for Christmas. Before you do something so vile and rude, put things into perspective. What if one of your possible wedding guests is going through a similar situation? Frankly, you disgust me.
Posted by impslave[/QUOTE]

Thank you for posting this. You just made me realize why I have such a horrible reaction to these "registries." I'm an attorney and have had clients lose their homes because they couldn't work and medical bills were burying them.

noodle_oo · December 2010

No no no no no no no no. As others I"m sure have pointed out, asking your guests to fund your house is incredibly rude, tacky, greedy, pretty much horrible all around. Pay for your own house.

MNVegas · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:60009958-e527-49dd-ad09-be8f3018559f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be such a jerk! I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and I am disgusted with you. I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]

You have a nerve calling people names and telling them to get off the board. You are the only one here being rude. People are sharing their experiences and words of wisdom. You should be grateful! Take your own advice, go away if you can't say something nice or can't handle other people's opinions.

kristinanddan · December 2010

If EVERY SINGLE person who responds is telling you that this is a bad idea, you don't think you should at least take that into consideration? Granted some people were nicer than others in their responses, but your response was that of an 8-year-old's, right down to the grammar.

mkrupar · December 2010

Besides you being rude OP and your idea tacky if you're having a destination wedding, people will realized you can't really be travelling with a ton of presents and will plan accordingly. They will probably have the gift shipped directly to your house. Stores can do that these days. Didja know that?

You could also return the items in CA that you can't take with you for store credit and re-buy them when you get back hom.e

Do not register for a DP on a house. It's a terrible idea.

Vanessa&Tony · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:cabbe3ad-f99d-4ec4-857c-fb062a114faf">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd agree, depending on where this "advertising" is taking place (wedding invite? yes. wedding website? no.). <strong>How is the person who's throwing you a shower putting the registry info on the invites tacky? </strong>The "advertising" is coming from someone else, not from you as you don't throw your own shower.
Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]

I guess it's just me personally. I would rather not have that saying "and the bride is registered at such and such place" on any invites. Or at least I hope my MOH won't. I guess I feel like it says your invited, buy a gift. We all know what we do at bridal showers, hence why it got it's name. So I think it's unnecessary to put it on there. Someone can always ask the host where they are they registered at when they RSVP.

And the website is meant for people to gather information about your wedding. If they need directions, what day and time, learn about the bride or groom, and if you want to know where they are registered at, if you want to buy a gift off of it. But I think it's much subtle than posting it on an invite. I would cringe at anyone who put nothing but their registry info on their wedding site...and consider that advertising.

Vanessa&Tony · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:71f855e0-6bc1-4916-9765-5ce2eb119786">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry for House Deposit : Before wedding websites, the main way people found out where the couple was registered was by either asking the couple or the parents or members of the WP. <strong>Of course none of those people should say, "They want cash," but by saying they are not registered anywhere and just focusing on saving, that is getting the information across without being tacky. </strong>I'm also not sure what you meant by advertising registries. It is considered "the norm" to put a link to your registries on your wedding website. Do you also consider it "advertising" for the WP to tell people when asked where you are registered? If both of these things are true, I'm not sure how you think people are ever going to find out where someone is registered. They would either have to be psychic or go to every single store where people commonly register and try to find out by themselves. To me, that would be tacky.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

I personally think that asking for cash, no matter how you do it, is tacky. Hinting is asking and I don't think there is an untacky way to ask.

Just let your guests do what they want to do and if they ask family leave it up to them to respond. By giving them a line to say it is coming from you and you are then asking. And that's why I think it's tacky.

And I responded to another poster about the wedding website. I don't want to repeat myself.

Don't get me wrong I don't think it's hugely rude or your a bad person to anyone who chooses to do that, I just don't care for it.

trix1223 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:60009958-e527-49dd-ad09-be8f3018559f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't be such a jerk! I didn't say I wanted them to pay the whole thing. Get off this site if you are going to be so rude. This is supposed to be a happy site and I am disgusted with you. I was merely saying that instead of whatever they were going to spend on a gift they could put into a fund. So with that said, happy holidays, and go away because if you can't say something nice, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Posted by prettynpink128[/QUOTE]

Which of the multitude people who told you this was a terrible idea directed at? Since you used the singular "a jerk" you must have had just one of us in mind.

Does it seems at all odd to you that every single person told you this was a bad idea? Every. Single. Person.

So here's the deal: if, as I might have mentioned, every single person here thinks this is very poor form, I can promise you that your guests will felel the same way. They won't tell you because they won't want to hurt your precious feelings. We will tell you. Oh wait....we already did.

If you go ahead and do this, people will talk about your wedding for years to come. But it won't include fond remembrances.

ETA: I also admit freely that I judge people who have an expensive wedding, including a DW, and then ask their guests to pay for their honeymoon or house. Plan a smaller budget wedding, and pay for your own house.

JuneMaggie · December 2010

I think it is rather silly to deem it appropriate to ask for 150.00 place settings but crazy to ask for that money to helping them build their house fund? Why it might not be for everyone, it is hypocritical at best to assume your registry filled with over priced china and glasses is any more appropriate then a honeymoon one or something similar to what is being posted above.

I have never heard of the registry in question but we are using a similar registry to ask for things to fix up our house (paint, counters, furniture, etc)- we have a money pit of a house we bought and we don't need china and expensive glasses that are deemed appropriate to ask for, we need floor tile and paint! So we are using www.uponourstar.com and it allows us to put all kinds of things on there- I think you can even do a mortgage/house type fund too!

Why is it so crazy to ask for paint, but expensive dishes are ok? ridiculous!

mgietler76 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:2150d2d9-d682-43a6-bf1d-356ec80a731f">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is rather silly to deem it appropriate to ask for 150.00 place settings but crazy to ask for that money to helping them build their house fund? Why it might not be for everyone, it is hypocritical at best to assume your registry filled with over priced china and glasses is any more appropriate then a honeymoon one or something similar to what is being posted above. I have never heard of the registry in question but we are using a similar registry to ask for things to fix up our house (paint, counters, furniture, etc)- we have a money pit of a house we bought and we don't need china and expensive glasses that are deemed appropriate to ask for, we need floor tile and paint! So we are using <a href="http://www.uponourstar.com" rel="nofollow">www.uponourstar.com</a> and it allows us to put all kinds of things on there- I think you can even do a mortgage/house type fund too! Why is it so crazy to ask for paint, but expensive dishes are ok? ridiculous!
Posted by JuneMaggie[/QUOTE]

You don't see the difference between a house on a registry and paint/dishes for a house you already own? Seriously............you don't?!?

Vanessa&Tony · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registry-house-deposit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:ade720a5-4b81-45f9-99d6-a7634b832bd1Post:3ba05bcd-734e-4e02-89f7-39a0972306cd">Re: Registry for House Deposit</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Registry for House Deposit : It's not hinting if a guest asks your WP point blank what you want and they say you are saving for a house or say where you are registered. Would you suggest lying about it completely? And for the second bolded part--I looked back through the thread. The very first post you had was the post that I commented on. If you replied to someone after me, there is no way I would have been psychic and visualized what you would write in the future. It was very rude the way you put that when I was nothing but civil to you. And don't worry, I know I'm not a bad person :)<strong> I don't need posters like you to validate my morals on here.</strong>
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

Don't be so sensitive. I wasn't actually referring to YOU. Just making my point to anyone reading.

"Don't get me wrong I don't think it's hugely rude or your a bad person <span style="font-weight:bold;">to anyone who chooses</span> to do that, I just don't care for it."

MyNameIsNot · December 2010

House registry?

Disgusting. There is simply no other word.

Registry for House Deposit

Re: Registry for House Deposit

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