Honeymoon Discussions

Honeymoon Registry

Has anyone ever used a honeymoon registry?? im lost on how to do one.... cn someone please help me... thank you!

Re: Honeymoon Registry

  • *sigh*  Once again....

    1) Honeymoon registries are tactless and a little gross.

    2) If you don't want to register for "normal" gifts, then don't register at all, people will give cash, or you'll get rando gifts.

    3) Most honeymoon registries charge either you or your guest for putting money in the account.  What sense does that make?

    4) Honeymoon registries are gross.
  • sunicosunico member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2010
    I can kind of see where you're coming from, but just to play devil's advocate, what's the difference between asking for cash that you'll actually use, or asking for random gifts that you're choosing mainly because you need to choose something? You're still asking people to spend money on you...

    By the time our wedding rolls around, my FI and I will have been living together for almost 5 years, have renovated one house, and will be in the process of building another. Does anyone really think we need another toaster?

    What's wrong in saying "hey - you're gonna spend the money on us anyway. Why not help us get something we REALLY want?"
  • It's perfectly acceptable to register for nothing, and then the guests can then decide if they WANT to give you cash.  Registering for a honeymoon is like putting a hand out and saying, "Give me money."  Plus, I find it annoying that you would sign up for something that charges a fee for you to put money in or take it out.  So you lose money, and put your guests through more hassle than is necessary.
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited January 2010
    This is the song that doesn't end
    Yes it goes on and on my friend
    Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
    and they'll continue singing it forever just because

    This is the song that doesn't end..

    HM registries, as they are setup now, is just another way of asking for cash.  But, instead of just not registering and spreading by word of mouth that you are saving for a honeymoon (or whatever) you allow a company to collect your guests money, take a cut, and then write you a check.

    Have your families spread the word about you saving for a honeymoon.  Don't register.  Most people will get the hint and give you cash.

    But, I also find it really horrible when people plan vacations they can't afford and think it is okay to have other people pay for it.  Major sucktastic.
  • I think we'll split the difference and just let our guests buy us all kinds of stuff that we don't want, then we'll return it and use the cash for our honeymoon! The only question is, should we mention that in the thank you notes? Surprised
  • HM registries are also deceptive. Your guest thinks they are buying you a dinner, excursion or something else when in fact all they are really doing is giving you cash, that you can use for anything you want. Plus you don't even get ALL the money becausse the registry takes a cut. So really what is the point?

    If you don't need anything than just don't register. Also if you plan a HM you can afford then you will not need to ask your guests to pay for it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fc07f65-8c62-43eb-a1a2-75b479ee4a15Post:86a3af5a-5ae8-4326-adc7-b52f262202f9">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]We will most likely be doing a honeymoon registry. I think we'll wind up going with honeyfund.com, as the <strong>fees are minimal</strong>. In my circle, honeymoon registries are not 'tacky'. <strong>Travel experiences are far more valuable and more enriching to your life than any stuff you could ask for</strong>. If you set up the registry the right way, it also allows family and friends who have travelled to your honeymoon destination to give you suggestions on things to do, as well as the money to fund it. Not to mention it allows your friends and family to put some thought into your gift, instead of just giving cash. While it's true that the registry will just cut you a cheque, you can take photos of you and your new husband doing each of the activities people bought for you, and send them in your thank you cards. One word of caution with honeymoon registries is that you may not actually receive the money in time for your honeymoon, nor do you know in advance how much money you will actually have to put toward it until after you've booked. So make sure you plan a honeymoon you can afford, regardless of the registry.
    Posted by glam70s[/QUOTE]

    1) Again, why would you even want someone else to take even a LITTLE cut of money that people gave you?

    2) Yes, because a sex fest with minimal sight seeing and some beach-laying is so much more enriching than say, oh, I don't know, a beautiful crystal vase that you can pass down through the generations. 

    Honestly, I was sooo disappointed that our guests just gave us money, even though we had registered.  I get why they did it- we live overseas and may not always be able to bring things with us here.  But, we plan on going home to the US someday, and we really wanted to remember the people that got us the things we had.  Long into the future, we could recall that my grandparents picked out the silver candlesticks we use on the table every Christmas.  I'm not normally sentimental, but that's the kind of thing that makes me happy.  Not some cash in a card or in an account. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fc07f65-8c62-43eb-a1a2-75b479ee4a15Post:3e7ba408-dcad-4aee-bff1-815c61f2c46c">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry : Yes, because a sex fest with minimal sight seeing and some beach-laying is so much more enriching than say, oh, I don't know, a beautiful crystal vase that you can pass down through the generations.
    Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

    Amoro, you of all people (as an expat) should know that travel IS an enriching experience, and not everyone takes a beach honeymoon. Plenty of people these days are going to all sorts of places and treating the HM like any other trip and having cultural experiences beyond just trying the local cocktails.

    I'm not arguing the HM registry issue (my opinion is that I wouldn't do one but wouldn't mind if a friend did in conjunction with a more traditional registry, leaving the choice to the guests), but if this is one of the arguments against having one then it makes it sound like it would be fine to ask for contributions to my historical tour of European capitals, just not for my AI Caribbean vacation.

    OP and PP who mentioned not wanting to register, the registry board has a sticky with some ideas of items you may not have, if you're looking for ideas.
  • Don't you think you're being a little too judgemental?

    We were considering a HM registry, but ultimately decided not to because the cost is rediculous.  However, I think it's a good idea for several reasons.

    1)  People like to know that if they give money it will go towards something specific.

    2)  I don't know about you, but we don't need a gift registry.  Between the two of us, we already have all the typical household items typically on a registry.  Silverware, dishes, decanters, more reidel glasses than you can shake a stick at etc, ect.  We don't need "stuff".

    3)  We're paying for everything ourselves and we would appreciate being able to have an event we can celebrate with our friends and family without ending up in too much of a financial hole.  If you're fortunate enough to have someone to pay for everything, great for you, but not everyone is so fortunate.

    The whole point of a wedding gift is to help a young couple get started out in life because traditionally, young couples just didn't have the resources to furnish all of their household needs by themselves.  Now you have a lot of people getting married later in life, and often they have what they need.  A HM registry is a great idea, though righ tnow, it seems the fees are rediculous.  Someone will smarten up and provide that service for a reasonable flat fee eventually.

    What I want to know is how on one hand you can say that a HM registry is tactless but then consider showing up to a wedding without a gift because you don't like the fact that they would prefer cash to stuff.  Sorry honey,that's not classy at all.  Just decline the invite if it gets you that wound up.

    While our destnation will be Italy, a laying around the beach sex-fest sounds pretty great too.  It's a long life and it's bound to happen.  I can just see it , years from now, we're 80-something, sitting together on the couch watching the holigraphic TV/Smellavision when a commecial for Aruba comes on.  She squeezes my hand, I look at her, she has a gleam in her eye and a big smile on her face.  It's a long life, so I won't count it out yet and you can keep your glass nic-nacs!
  • You have a poor attitude and I think it's mean to be insulting to people who are curious about it or who have decided it's a good option for them.
  • I agree with personalpenguin! I have been reading over this forum to get honeymoon advice; but I keep seeing Amoro's VERY opiniated views. Amoro- we get it, you do not like the idea of a HM registry. enough already (your posts are becoming "gross"). You have made your point. not everyone wants candlesticks or a crystal vase (I know I don't) . But I am sure that you think putting sheets/ bedding on a registry is ok, right? I am sure that a newly married couple will have many more "sexfests/screwfests"  over time on the "traditional bedding" than they will on their honeymoon. Should guests have to pay for this? 
    We do not personally have a HM registry, but i think that each couple should register for whatever they want- guests do not have to purchase off of a registry. Guests are not obligated to give gifts at all.. As a wedding guest I want my $ to go towards a gift that is wanted and will be used. I don't care if the gift is a toaster or $ towards a honeymoon.  I have no problems with registries of any kind (I would rather purchase off a registry to make sure it is something the couple WANTED), but overall  you can argue that both a HM registry and a "traditonal" registry serve the same purpose- gifts cost "cash" either way, and any type of registry is "hinting" to guests what you as a couple need/want. so get off your high horse.
  • I'm scared I'm going to get yelled at, but I want to add a positive experience....

    Take a look at Honeyfund. After we booked our honeymoon, our family (and some friends) wanted to know all about it and our activities we had planned. An aunt alluded to the fact that people would probably be interested in pitching in for some of these activities because they are meaningful and more unique than a blender, so we made a honeyfund account. We sent the link to each of our mothers, and told them if anyone was asking about gifts or wanted to pitch in for fun activities for the honeymoon (unsolicited of course) they could send along our honeyfund account information to said person.

    In my circle of family and friends, people like to buy gifts for each other for weddings. For those who say it's tacky, fine. But if people ask, why not tell them??  FYI these activities are ones that are already booked, and we can afford them. Whether the payment comes from our pockets, or from a thoughtful gift from a family member, these activites will happen. I don't see the harm in thoughtful gifts.

    For Honeyfund, we chose not to use the PayPal method because they take a cut, but otherwise it's 100% going to what it says. Take a look at Honeyfund.. it's a great option!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • personalpenguin, you're funny.

    Amoro loves to be the center of attention doesn't she?

    She's posted 5940 times on this site! (Get a life loser!)

    She's unpleasant.  She has lots of free time.  She's judgemental of couples who (God forbid) enjoy a healthy, prolific sex life on their honeymoon.  Her problem is very painfully obvious isn't it?

    Might I suggest a hat with better coverage than that stupid net?  I hear it helps.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-9?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:3fc07f65-8c62-43eb-a1a2-75b479ee4a15Post:fca94c13-1cf1-4364-905b-e52c182249d0">Re: Honeymoon Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]personalpenguin, you're funny. Amoro loves to be the center of attention doesn't she? She's posted 5940 times on this site! (Get a life loser!) She's unpleasant.  She has lots of free time.  She's judgemental of couples who (God forbid) enjoy a healthy, prolific sex life on their honeymoon.  Her problem is very painfully obvious isn't it? Might I suggest a hat with better coverage than that stupid net?  I hear it helps.
    Posted by elampi[/QUOTE]

    Let me get this straight - you go through the trouble to create two special pictures of Amoro with the Photoshopping and whatnot, and SHE'S the one who needs to get a life?  Reeeeeeally?
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • I think it's ridiuclous that people are posting their opinions on HM registries when OP already decided to do one and needs help, when you guys are adding all this nonsense, it's not helping her.

    CassandNick- Check out honeyfund.com or thehoneymoon.com they go through a step by step on how to do one. They send you a check for the amount a week before the wedding so it won't actually help you pay for the airfare and hotel but your friends and family can put money towards activities and dinner, etc. I don't think it's unclassy, we only registered for things we like/want to do and know we will do and will be using the money for those events. We plan to take a pic of us doing that event and putting it in with the Thank you card to the person who gave it to us as a gift (idea from another knottie).

    Amoro-do you think what I am doing for my HM registry is unclassy? Not that I really care about your opinion because you are obviously a very unhappy person if you have to cut people down like you do and you are a very ugly person on the inside... The OP was asking for help, not for your "gross" opinion!
    Trying to Conceive Ticker "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, As long as I'm laughing with you" Planning Bio image
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  • I'll take that as a compliment because they really only took a few  minutes to do.

    I am pretty sure that it takes a lot longer write out 6000 bitter, exasperated posts on the Knot.  Strange that you would think there was a comparison.  You must be terrible at math.

  • Wow... I am very surprised at the lack of support here. I searched "honeymoon registries," and most of the postings here do not help at all. How about responding to the question rather than passing judgment? Advice that is not asked for is the real "tacky" thing. 
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