Do we have to?

geegee2012 · April 2012

FI and I were not planning on having a receiving line at the church where we are going to be wed. Our wedding guest list is small, so we were just going to make rounds to all the tables at the reception. Now FMIL is insisting we have a receiving line at the church because several members of the church (not "invited") will be in attendance for the ceremony. I agree it would be nice to speak to them.

FI doesn't want to do this at all. He says we shouldn't have to thank them for coming when we don't even know them, really. They are just members and want to come see a wedding. I guess they are acquainted with FMIL, idk. I kind of get his argument too.

I am on the fence. Part of me says we should to be nice, but I am worried about it cutting into our time afterwards for pics. A first look is not something we want to do, but we are doing separate pics beforehand to cut down on time. As of right now we have about an hour-hour 1/2 to do pics of FI and I together and of everyone together, so I am worried about how much time a receiving line would eat into that....

WWYD?

HockeyFan4 · April 2012

I agree with FI. I think receiving lines are kind of odd.

Meggiemuggins · April 2012

We didn't do one for the same reason - we didn't want to feel rushed during our photos. Our ceremony was in my parents' backyard and there were a few people who were invited but for whatever reasons couldn't make the reception so they just came to the ceremony. We just made it a point to seek them out and thank them for coming before we left for our photos. For everyone else we made the rounds at the reception.

DramaGeek · April 2012

If you're doing most of your photos before the ceremony, you shouldn't need an hour and a half after. A good photographer gets all the photos done in 2-3 hours, so by doing most before the ceremony you should only need 45 min to an hour afterward.

We did a receiving line because our wedding was so big that we knew we'd never make it around to everyone if we just did table visits. We did the table visits also, but I know we didn't see everyone at the reception. I'm really glad we did the receiving line, to be honest.

geegee2012 · April 2012

FI and I are the hosts of the wedding, so if we did do an RL, it would be he and I only. That would cut down on time too.

Also, we are taking pictures at a different location than the ceremony (where we are doing all other pics), so we have to figure some time for travel in there too. We just didn't want to be rushed. 45 mins doesn't seem like enough time. idk

We only will be having about 70 people in attendance, so since the reception is 4 hours (plus a cocktail hour), we feel we could surely greet everyone in that amount of time. If we had a larger wedding GL, it would be different.

Kate61487 · April 2012

I hate receiving lines, so I'm on FI's side. Your FMIL is, of course, more than welcome to visit with these people. I see no reason why you should feel obligated to make all of your actual guests wait around so you can be sure to say hi to some people you aren't actually inviting to the wedding.

Summer2011Bride · April 2012

I'm with FI. We didn't do one, but rather went around to tables. We had 130 guests and were able to greet every single one without feeling rushed. As far as the unvinted Church guests," this may sound harsh, but I don't think you need to rearrange your whole schedule to greet them. Like you said, you didn't invite them. If you see them milling around after the ceremony, sure stop and say thanks for coming. If this is your home church and you will see them on Sundays after this, you could always thank them after the fact too. If your FMIL really feels strongly about greeting them, she can go around and make sure to say hello to each one individually.

Bay21 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-we-have-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0db02f47-ba5f-49ad-9b62-332c7c206ea9Post:29aba3d3-58e3-4591-969f-a22fc6491bba">Re: Do we have to?</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate receiving lines, so I'm on FI's side. Your FMIL is, of course, more than welcome to visit with these people. I see no reason why you should feel obligated to make all of your actual guests wait around so you can be sure to say hi to some people you aren't actually inviting to the wedding.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]
This is pretty much what I was going to say. Personally, I think it's weird that people who may or may not know you&your fi would just show up and watch the wedding. But if you mother is concerned about them being greeted, maybe explain to her your concerns about getting the photo's as a way to suggest that she could go greet them if she wanted? I'm sure if you explained it to her as this, if she's reasonable, she'll understand.

kimberlykh · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-we-have-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0db02f47-ba5f-49ad-9b62-332c7c206ea9Post:29aba3d3-58e3-4591-969f-a22fc6491bba">Re: Do we have to?</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate receiving lines, so I'm on FI's side. Your FMIL is, of course, more than welcome to visit with these people. I see no reason why you should feel obligated to make all of your actual guests wait around so you can be sure to say hi to some people you aren't actually inviting to the wedding.
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

Agree with this!

bellabananas · April 2012

Yeah I agree with PP, why the hell are these people coming to see your wedding? Personally that would really creep me out. If your FMIL thinks they ought to be greeted, let her do that. Your focus is your wedding, your day, and your guests, not some people that are essentially crashing your ceremony. Just my opinion!

bonge · April 2012

I think for most churches it is announced in a bulletin. A lot of people love weddings. Ours will be big so good luck fitting them in the church, but i won't notice them if they are there. Our wedding will be long & we are having a big after party the next day so i am hoping to get to each table, but we are having a 5 hour dance so i can see us missing some people. I still wouldn't do a receiving line, but if you have a small guest list as you said it should go fast so really it is up to you.

Do we have to?

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