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Chit Chat

My Future In Laws!

Ok so I just have to vent for a second....my future in-laws came to our new house this week to help us get our old house on the market to sell....well I guess my fiance's mom is under a lot of stress (and going through menopause apparently) and went off on her son while I was in class one night this week! I couldn't get ahold of ANYONE at my house for about 5 hours! When I finally got ahold of my fiance he told me that there had been a fight and his parents went to the old house and that they may leave, but that I would have to wait until I got home from class (at 10:30 at night mind you) to figure out what happened. She apparently went off on him because he doesn't make enough money (because someone who wants to teach kids doesn't make the millions she expects him to make), that he doesn't take good care of himself (because he is a little overweight and at 27 he doesn't weigh as much as he did when he played football in HIGH SCHOOL at 18), that he is a disappointment to her (he is her only child), and that he never calles her.....then she starts crying! He forgave her that night when they came back from the old house to my house. Nobody talked to eachother the next day, and she thought that I would ask her to leave if she talked to me. I probably would have, but my fiance would have said no (at least after it was over). I wasn't mad at her, but more upset about what she said to her son. She said it won't happen again, but for some reason I do not believe that she won't say anything about his weight or his job again. She will call to talk and end up talking about a new diet for him to try....or for him to get lap band....or tell me she found a web posting for a director at a daycare.

Ok I feel a little better. But I know it will keep happening because since he is an only child and the center of her world....she wants him to be the one in the family that makes more money than his cousins....and for me to be the perfect wife who holds down a full time job, and is June Cleaver....and when kids come around for them to be straight A, football playing, baseball playing, (or cheerleading with girls), most popular kid in school. I don't want to be the family that gets showed off....I would just like to be part of the family who doesn't have to have all 6 other families come to see at holidays because we are the "Jones".

I feel even better now. Any suggestions....comments....raints to go with this!

Re: My Future In Laws!

  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    I guess the only thing you can say to your FMIL (Future Mother In Law), is if she can only find faults in her son, that's something that as a Mom and a parent should never do.  How is yelling going to help him, or motivate him to think about his health, and his career?!

    And, that you love him for the way he is, for the positive qualities, like when you feel down, he knows how to turn a frown upside down, and he's honest, and motivated to provide the best care for his family, despite the circumstances, and he's happy teaching kids, because it's been his life long passion!

    Hope that helps!

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • Yes I do love him because he can make me laugh even when I am mad! He knows just what to do and to say to make my day better! She appoligized for saying all of those things, but we will see what happens in the future. I even told him if he gets back down to the weight she wants him to be that I wouldn't like it.

    Thanks for the help....and the rainting!
  • My aunt sounds just like that, her and my mom argue regularly because the aunt is always like oh my kids call me every day to talk or they're doing this or that.  My mom's like my son doesn't need to call me daily because he doesn't need me to wipe his backside anymore, oh and he's never been to jail either, then it just devolves from there lol.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • My mom is just like that.

    I just let it roll off my back, she is a drama llama and when she is mad she gets MEAN. Although, you may not like how she treats him, there is nothing you can do other than support your FI. There is no way to fix her, just figure out the best way to deal with her. My FI knows that I handle my parents, so he just supports me however he can.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • FMIL is like that about three of her four kids. She has Daughter that's a teacher and she's wonderful. A son that's a POS. He has  daughter he never sees, he can't keep a job and in is own words he has a different "chickenhead" over everynight. A daughter that has lost custody of her kids. And lives with a crack addict. And then FI, the baby. FI does NO WRONG in her eyes.

    She  constantly talks down to and degrades the other kids. She puts FI on a petastool, causing constant family drama. But, FI just ignores her when she gets like that and eventually she stops when she sees he isn't paying her the attention she wants.
  • Thank you CMGr:  This is not about menopause.  This is about a mom who is mean-spirited and not entirely stable, and I'm as offended by someone blaming it on menopause, as I am by women who use their period as an excuse for bad behavior.

    This is nothing more than a woman exhibiting bad behavior.  And I'm betting she had plenty of bad behavior before she ever hit the menopausal years of her life.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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