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FI wants my dad & step dad to be GM

cha+chingcha+ching
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI wants to ask my step dad to be a GM. He asked me if I was ok with that, and of course I am. Then he asks if my dad would be upset about him asking step dad. I told him I didn't think so, my dad has a very important role. Now FI is thinking he should ask my dad to be a GM (which I'm also fine with, his GM are his choice), but the thing is that my FI and my dad don't have a great relationship. They don't dislike each other, but my dad is just not the friendly(?) type.

I don't want to tell FI not to ask my dad, but I don't want him to think he has to ask him to avoid hurting his feelings. This isn't a big deal to me, but FI is wanting me to decide for him. So what would you tell him?
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Re: FI wants my dad & step dad to be GM

  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2010
    Is you dad walking you down the aisle? I've heard of Groom's having their father's in the wedding party, but unless the realtionship with the Bride's father was really really tight, I couldn't imagine him standing up with the Groom. It just seems odd to me. You say they aren't close. Why does he feel obligated to ask him?

    Edited: missed a word
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  • cha+chingcha+ching
    100 Comments
    that's what I've been telling him for a week now... and he comes back with "but its your family!" and I've told him I understand that, but its his side of the wedding party. He doesn't get it.
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    This is strange. I've heard of people feeling obligated to have siblings in the wedding party, but not parents. Again, is your father walking you down the aisle? Isn't that enough envolvement. Is he trying to even up sides? If so, they don't have to be even. It's ok if you have an extra person on your side. I just find this whole thing odd.
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  • cha+chingcha+ching
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fi-wants-dad-step-dad-gm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:567ffe60-da71-42dc-9fee-f7ad02d1b326Post:29502f9f-52c3-4ba4-b2b1-cb0f0ac1cef6">Re: FI wants my dad & step dad to be GM</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is you dad walking you down the aisle? I've heard of Groom's having their father's in the wedding party, but unless the realtionship with the Bride's father was really really tight, I couldn't imagine him standing up with the Groom. It just seems odd to me. You say they aren't close. Why does he feel obligated to ask him? Edited: missed a word
    Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]


    Yea, my dad is walking me down the aisle. FI wants to ask him because he and my step dad are close so he wants my step dad to be a GM and he doesnt want my dad to feel "left out".
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • cha+chingcha+ching
    100 Comments
    I don't think he's trying to even up sides because we've known for a while that I'd have more people on my side and he seemed fine with it. I can somewhat understand him wanting to ask my step dad, my mom went cougar and married a guy 8 years younger and there is only about a 4 year difference between FI and my step dad and they hang out a good bit when me and my mom have girl days.
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I see. I don't think your dad will feel left out by not being a GM. He gets to walk you down the aisle. That's an honor itself. If FI is closer to SD then it makes sense to have him as a GM. Tell him not to have your father out of obligation.
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  • cha+chingcha+ching
    100 Comments
    I just don't know how to make him realize that my dad is not going to be upset about not being a GM. I agree its weird, but FI is a little nutty at times. He means well, but he hates to even think that he has upset anyone in my family.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Well then, let him ask. You father can always decline.
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  • gailpetegailpete member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Tell him your dad already has a very important role at the wedding, Father of the Bride.  He will be busy walking you down the aisle, so there is no need to worry that he will feel left out.  Your dad would likely assume he wasn't asked to be a GM because he is FOB and already busy.
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    If he wants your father as a GM, let him ask.  Your dad can decline.

    My H wanted all the men (groomsmen, ushers, readers and dads) to wear matching ties.  My father was so relieved when H couldn't find 17 matching ties.  He said, "But I'm not on H's side.  I'm the father of the bride."
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