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No corsages/bouts for parents and grandparents - poor manners?

meimameima
First Comment
in Flowers

My brother (man-of-honour) will have a bout, so will FI, sister (BM) will have a small bouquet, and groomsman and best man will also both have bouts.

I'm wondering if it's poor manners to not do corsages/bouts for parents/grandparents.  I just have a hard time with the idea of providing something that they're likely going to throw out afterwards.  I'm hand embroidering handkerchiefs for the moms/grandmothers, and we will likely do something for the dads/grandpas, just wondering if I'm out of line not doing flowers for them!
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Re: No corsages/bouts for parents and grandparents - poor manners?

  • Tisha.Tisha.
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess maybe it depends on those people?  I mean, I know my mom would get her feelings hurt if I didn't give her one, and Keith's mom would take it as some sort of slight, I'm sure.

    But if you don't think they will care, I guess it's not required.  But, I personally think it's best.
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  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    corsages and bouts are pretty inexpensive and I don't imagine your FI, brother or sister will be keeping their flowers.  Some of the moms on here did things other than corsages.  You may want to post on the M&M board to find out what they did.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's not poor manners at all.  For us, it is all about the budget and we've chosen to cut these out in order to put the money to other items.  Plus, we're having such a small gathering (60 guests, max) that flowers for any of the guests would look sort of odd.
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  • suz62984suz62984
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Tisha 100%. Besides you really aren't saving a ton of money to leave them out. They are inexpensive and can even be DIYed pretty easily. If you want to save money on flowers cut centerpieces, altar arrangements, and bouquet selections. Those are the big money items.
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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DH and I aren't a fan of corsages and bouts so we skipped the bouts entirely for the guys and they just wore pocket squares. But we decided to ask our moms if they wanted corsages and they both said yes, so we did corsages for them. They're fairly inexpensive so if you think they'll care either way just ask.
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  • meimameima
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone.

    We're not doing flowers anywhere else (other than my bouquet).  Centrepieces are potted mums, so it's a "low flower" kind of event.  Thanks to the PP who suggested just asking.  I'll do that. 

    Thanks again!
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    We aren't doing Bouts.  FI and BM will be in their dress blues and are not permitted to wear flowers on them so we just aren't doing them at all. 
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  • sjersey86sjersey86
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Like Summer we also aren't a fan of corsages/bouts.  FI decided to do pocket squares & only flowers will be the bouquets.
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  • hollybee92hollybee92 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I may just be from the South, but my poor grandmother freaked out and went to buy fake flowers for corsages for the grandparents minutes before my cousin's wedding. I know she thought it was unheard of and tacky. I think my cousin hadn't spoken to her FH's family about it, so they felt somewhat snubbed.
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  • Catwoman708Catwoman708 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Giving the parents and grandparents a bout or corsage is a tradition, a way to show they are honored guests.  Some will be offended you don't think of them in that way, others will be relieved because they find them uncomfortable or impractical. 

    I think it's not outright rude if you can't afford it, but more like thoughtless to make the small price of a few bouts and corsages more important than their feelings.  The only way to know is to ASK them.  If they don't want them, there is no need for them.

    If cost is the only reason you don't want to do this, with roses of all colors available at most grocery stores for less than $20 a dozen, that is no excuse.  All you need is enough for one single rose for each of them in a vase or pitcher, a few corsage pins, a little ribbon, scissors, and 5-10 minutes of someone's time.  Give the mothers a single rose with a ribbon on it, and snip off a bloom at the last minute for the bouts.  They will easily last out of water for several hours.
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  • swissarmymelodyswissarmymelody
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's really up to you and your family. We got flowers for the parents and grandparents and they really appreciated it. For the mothers we got them nosegays, which if you don't know, it's a small bouquet. They loved the idea that they can carry the flowers around instead of having it pinned to their dresses.
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We also did noesgays for the moms and they loved them.  We did pin on corsages for the grandmothers and they actually balked at pinning them on their dresses.  In hindsight I wish we had asked.

    I really wanted to do pocket squares instead of bouts but DH wanted everything traditional.  I think it's a nice gesture though to honor the important family members with something.  I have heard of having the moms/grandmothers carrying one long-stemmed rose so that would be an inexpensive option for them.
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  • afloggieafloggie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The guys have no flowers, just pocket squares. We asked the moms if they wanted corsages and since it was in our budget we did them, but before we knew if we could afford it we were not planning on it.
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