Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?

mhall88 · May 2012

My fi and I have been together for almost 4 years now, and I've met his childhood best friend John once. Fi wants to have John be his best man in our wedding. I'm kinda nervous, I don't know how this guy acts, if he's responsible or if he could even handle the responsibility of being best man. Idk what to do. Advice please.

jagore08 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:e3b10cc6-5ea0-4ab4-89eb-da70c0a895b9">Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]My fi and I have been together for almost 4 years now, and I've met his childhood best friend John once. Fi wants to have John be his best man in our wedding. I'm kinda nervous, I don't know how this guy acts, if he's responsible or if he could even handle the responsibility of being best man. Idk what to do. Advice please.
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]
It's his decision who he chooses to have standing beside him, just as it's yours for your side. What "responsibility of being best man" are you talking about? The only thing he needs to do is get the appropriate attire, stand by your FI at the ceremony, and smile for pictures.

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

What exactly do you thing the BM is responsible for? All he has to do is get dressed, stand next to the groom and hold the rings.

And no...you get 100% no say in who stands on your FI's side so don't even bring it up unless they guy tried to seduce you or injure you (and even then, it's still your FI's call).

Ali092011 · May 2012

No, you don't have a say. I hardly know two of FI's groomsmen. One of them is leaving this month to work on a remote island for the entire summer and won't be back until four days before the wedding. I have NO IDEA whether or not he has gotten his tux yet, or if he will even have one in time for the wedding. But I'm not interfering. FI chose who he chose, and he can worry about that. They are standing on HIS side, and he gets to choose them.

HeathenSwan · May 2012

As others have said, there is no responsibility to being a best man. This guy is the one your fiance wants standing with him. It's 100% his decision. You shouldn't be worrying about it, or trying to control it (not trying to be snarky with that). You'll have enough to worry about as it is.

Chels&Jimmy · May 2012

Ditto PP's. Also, think about this - how would you feel if your FI wanted a say in who your MOH was?

BrittneyRN · May 2012

Ditto all PP's. Plus, you have a year and 4 months until your wedding. It's too soon to be picking wedding parties

mhall88 · May 2012

I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party.. I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules.

juliebug1997 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party.. I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ohhhhhhhhh......</div><div>
</div><div>If you're going to do it yourself so you can do it right, then it really doesn't matter how untrustworthy this dude is. You're probably going to be putting his tux on him and doing his hair so what's the big deal?

</div>

Maggie0829 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party..<strong> I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined.</strong> If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]

<div>Really? Wow, you're a peach!</div>

RamonaFlowers · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party..<strong> I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)</strong>
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]

Wow. I can't possibly see how making your FI cast out one of his dearest friends for a completely superficial reason will ever come back to bite you in the @$$ after the wedding. Oh wait ... I totally can.

You're wedding isn't until September 2013? If your FI actually goes through with the wedding, I'm just going to tell the girls over on TIP to pencil you in for March 2014 now.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

I smell a troll.

jagore08 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party.. I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. <strong>My wedding my rules</strong>. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]
You're right, except it's your FIs wedding too, not just yours. I'm looking forward to more posts to come. It sounds like the poeple you do pick won't be able to live up to your standards.

Viczaesar · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party..<strong> I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined.</strong> If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]
That's horrible.

GoodLuckBear14 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party.. I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]

WTF is wrong with you?

mbody · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party.. I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]
Ew you suck at life.

And no OP, you don't get s say in your FI's BM.

jemmini6 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:5cb4cf43-f97a-4267-be23-dfee8a2ec484">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I smell a troll.
Posted by JordanF13[/QUOTE]

Unfortunately, I don't think she is....just a bridezilla.

shannyb41 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself.. I Have complete say in who us in his party.. <strong>I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined. If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding...</strong> If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]

Wow. Seriously???? What a nightmare.
FYI it's not just YOUR wedding...its his too. I really hate when people say "my wedding" or worse..."my day".....its not just your wedding.
Prove himself worthy?? LOL you're so ridiculous

OP, just like everyone else has said....you don't really have a say in who he chooses. If thats who he wants and you don't know him well the most you can do is ask that you all spend some more time together. Get to know him a little bit. But you can't pick his GM. He has to pick who is imporant to him.

coopsbaby · May 2012

I have yet to even meet my fi's best man. We don't live anywhere near him, and he travels a lot for work, so even when we are in his area, he's not around. I may not meet him until the wedding! But I picked fi, and I trust his judgement in friends, so I have no doubts bm will be a great guy.

jesslynn1012 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_do-i-have-a-say-in-who-fi-chooses-as-best-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:2b3817d5-449b-4299-87d8-59b903e0fe64Post:281f2e18-a18c-4307-922e-06e1455b0771">Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess were the only couple who picked out our parties together... My side consist of my 3 sisters and my cousin. I don't trust anyone when it comes to getting stuff done.. not even just getting a fix or showing up on time. if you want it done right.. do it yourself..<strong> I Have complete say in who us in his party.. I already wouldn't let him have one guy because his teeth are messed up. I'm not paying thousands of dollars on pictures for them to be ruined.</strong> If his friend wants to come around and prove himself worthy then he can be in the wedding... If not then NEXT. My wedding my rules. :)
Posted by mhall88[/QUOTE]

This is completely disgusting. I can't believe people like you really even exist. I feel sad for FI's friend and your FI...

Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?

Re: Do I have a say in who fi chooses as best man?

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