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Planning two weddings at once

Loniandlouie02Loniandlouie02 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Second Weddings
I've been with my boyfriend for over ten years and we have two children together not to mention that we are in the process of purchasing our first home. He proposed on Christmas Eve. We obviously have waited long enough and don't want a long engagement. Due to the fact that we want to get married on our anniversary date which is May 4th.

Now here is my headache part. We decided to get married through court this year and just have a reception at a restaurant with our immediate family/friends and in 2014 have a religious ceremony with a wedding reception to invite both our immediate and extended family and friends.

Besides the fact that this just adds double the headache for me, is it weird to do this??? How do we go about inviting people?? The save the dates! Do we announce that our first wedding is intimate but not to worry because they will be invited to the big wedding next year? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
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Re: Planning two weddings at once

  • happyfor25happyfor25 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Why not just wait and have the wedding in May of 2014?  I know you said you don't really want a  long engagement but as you said you've been together a long time so what's another year?  You would save yourself stress and money that way.  I think your friends and family may have hurt feelings that you didn't want them there when you say "I do".
    imageimage
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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    There are lots of things to consider:
    1) you really only get 1 wedding, so the "religious ceremony" would be a vow renewal, or a convalidation.
    2) will your guests at the 2014 event know you're already married?
    3) will your church even allow the "religious ceremony" you have in mind? I know my Catholic church will not do such things simply so one can have a PPD.
    4) Why do you want to get married at the courthouse if what you REALLY want is a religious wedding?
    5) overall, it is frowned on very much to do what you have in mind, and offensive to many people.
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • Loniandlouie02Loniandlouie02 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited January 2013
    I have family here and other in Mexico including my father. Not all can make it, that is another reason for both ceremonies. Our 2014 renewal ceremony would be a destination wedding in Mexico. We want our family in both countries to have the chance to spend a special day with us but at this point it does sound smarter to just wait until next year. I guess we can have a big engagement party so that the ones that can't make it to our destination wedding are still part of our celebration somehow. In regards to gifts instead of registering we were planning on asking our guest just for their presence and if they preferred to donate to St. Jude instead.
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_planning-two-weddings-at-once?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:6d011a55-b0de-42b3-b9bc-14d09ad849edPost:6923d1ee-d9c1-474c-bd3f-d1796cd933e6">Re:Planning two weddings at once</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have family here and other in Mexico including my father. Not all can make it, that is another reason for both ceremonies. <strong>Our 2014 renewal ceremony would be a destination wedding in Mexico</strong>. We want our family in both countries to have the chance to spend a special day with us but at this point it does sound smarter to just wait until next year. I guess we can have a big engagement party so that the ones that can't make it to our destination wedding are still part of our celebration somehow. In regards to gifts instead of registering we were planning on asking our guest just for their presence and if they preferred to donate to St. Jude instead.
    Posted by Loniandlouie02[/QUOTE]

    After having planned a destination wedding, I know in Mexico they require bloodwork and all that for the legal ceremony. So, have the legal ceremony here and then have a nice non-wedding celebration in Mexico. Have a nice reception with no ceremony, that is really just a more formal family get together with good food, a chance to show off your wedding pics from the legal ceremony, and a chance to catch up with people.

     







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  • mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Side note:
    I'd discourage your ideas about gifts.
    1) if someone wants to give a gift they will. It's rude to tell someone "no gifts." If you dont' want physical gifts, don't register, you will likely get cash from most guests.
    2) requesting a donation to a charity is also rude. IF this is your desire, then see #1 here, and donate the money yourself if you choose. Asking your guests to do so is really not ok.
    Praying for a miracle!
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Mandi is correct in the fact that she states that even to say NO gifts on an invitation isn't good. You don't mention gifts in any way, shape or form on an invitation.

    However, I disagree about the registry, as most other women do on this board.  Those who did not register because they didn't need/want anything regret it.  We have a very old, cautionary tale about a chili pepper lamp that didn't match the bride's decor, but was given because there was no registry.  Some people will want to give gifts.  Give them the opportunity to get you something you want or need an update/upgrade on. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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