Young daughter in our wedding

mattkatt12 · February 2012

Our daughter will be 20 months old when we have our wedding in August and I was just curious to see what suggestions everyone has about having her in the wedding. My first instinct is to have her walk down the aisle with me.

Suggestions?!?!?!

xyrius · February 2012

I disagree. I had my 28 month old in my wedding as my flower girl, and she walked me down the aisle. It was extraordinarily special to me and my husband. My daughter had some separation anxiety, and I actually had to hold her during the vows/rings, but it is a moment we will look back at with fond memories. She stayed close to me the entire time, up in the front of the church, between myself and the bridal party.

Stephanie&TonyLucas · February 2012

I have a 7 year old from a previous marriage.
She will be our flower girl and we will have something special in our ceremony signifying we are now a family.

But its a little different with a little one... I would have one of your flower girls or bridesmaid bring her down the aisle maybe in a pretty wagon and she can play in that or sit with grandparents in the front row.

If your going to do a unity candle maybe hold her during that part. But I wouldn't carry her down the aisle. That's your big moment where everyone is looking at you. Enjoy that moment on your own.

toothpastechica · February 2012

20 months and 28 months is a huge difference in developmental levels of a child...a two and a half year old might be able to manage it...if they have a really laid back personality. A not even 2 year old...I strongly advise against. One of my best friends had her 2 year old be her flowergirl and by the time she got to the front she was cranky and tired and started throwing a fit and none of her family (grandparents etc) could calm her down...I ended up taking her outside so that the family didnt have to miss the ceremony and she fell asleep and slept untill halfway through the reception on me....there goes me being a guest! I didnt mind taking care of her since i have been watching her since she was a newborn....but I wouldnt expect a not even 2 year old to make it through the day without any tiredness or overstimuation or even understanding why they should be quiet. Dress her in a pretty dress, maybe your mom could carry her in if your mom is walking in first? and then take lots of pictures with her when you do your pictures...

ootmother2 · February 2012

Any young child, I'd say 18 mos to 3 years are unpredictable under these circumstances. I've seen 18 month olds behave like a pro and a three year old collapse in tears as soon as the music started.

You are the only one who knows how your daughter will behave.

Trust me, she will not be on the shrink's couch for years if she fails to perform. Have someone close to her near by to step and and sweep her up if she has a problem.

GL

Lisa50 · February 2012

I agree with CMGr. I don't think baby should be in the wedding ceremony. At her age, the best you can plan for is parcing out a part of your photo session for her inclusion.

You've planned to have a baby sitter (grandma, cousin, aunt, whomever) with her throughout the festivities, right? As long as you are able to catch a glimpse of her during the ceremony and have her close by, I think you'll be in good shape.

pgcp · February 2012

My older daughter was 18 months old when I got married. She stayed with a babysitter through the wedding and reception. My dh and I did go to a park with her and to get some beautiful pictures (my mother had a friend of hers make a lovely dress for her, hand smocked pick cotton lawn, pretty pretty!) but she was much happier with a sitter. We didn't have to be concerned in the least with unpredictable behavior, fwiw she was a good baby at this point, nor were we concerned about who was watching her.

My younger daughter was 20 months old, and my nephew 24 months old, when my brother got married, my older daughter was 5 years old and the flower girl. The younger kids were with sitters. My daughter had a great time playing in the sitter's pool, and being spoiled to no end with ice cream, and no need for fancy clothes! If I remember correctly, she spent most of the very hot day in nothing more than a diaper.

ksulliva135 · February 2012

IT IS YOUR DAY!

that's all that really needs to be said. it is your wedding, and if you want to keep that memory forever then by all means, have her walk with you. Have someone sit in the front row she's comfortable with, and maybe a toy or stuffed animal, and she can walk with you down the aisle and sit through the ceremony. Do what is best for you!!!

Young daughter in our wedding

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