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NO children reception--HELP!

shtaycee5shtaycee5 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Woes

My FMIL is insisting that as part of her half of the guest list, she get to bring one of her grandchildren. My FH's sister's oldest daughter.

We are not having any kids in the wedding.

I intend to put 'Adult Reception to Follow' on the invitation, but if she insists on allowing only one child to come, I don't see the fairness in everyone else.

Her reasoning is that the child lives in the same house as all of us.

HELP ME! This is turning our wedding planning into major drama.

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Re: NO children reception--HELP!

  • katorigasukikatorigasuki
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    where is fi in all of this?
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  • Paulo's Menina BelaPaulo's Menina Bela member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7c784ec0-3126-49a2-8525-6fae57873a24Post:cfe58109-5b93-48ae-98b1-b27584506218">NO children reception--HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FMIL is insisting that as part of her half of the guest list, she get to bring one of her grandchildren. My FH's sister's oldest daughter. We are not having any kids in the wedding. I intend to put 'Adult Reception to Follow' on the invitation, but if she insists on allowing only one child to come, I don't see the fairness in everyone else.<strong> Her reasoning is that the child lives in the same house as all of us</strong>. HELP ME! This is turning our wedding planning into major drama.
    Posted by shtaycee5[/QUOTE]

    Explain this ^, you currently live with your FMIL and FSIL? Will you live together after the wedding?
    MIL is thrilled you're joining the family. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    A few things:
    1. "Adult reception to follow" is tacky.
    2. What does your fi think? and the fsil?
    3. How old is this child?
    4. You CAN invite one kid and not a whole brownie troop (unless they bring cookies)
    5. What do you mean you all live together?  Because if inviting one kid keeps the peace with the people I share a roof with, I'd let it go.
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  • shtaycee5shtaycee5 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    House we live in consists of his parents, his brother, he and I, and his niece. Sister has 4 kids total. This one is 5 years old right now, the younger 3 are all 2 and under. FSIL says she is fine with none of her kids coming because of the alcohol at the reception. Fiancé feels his niece is treated as another daughter rather than grandchild. Besides his sister’s kids, there are 2 other grandkids from his brother that are just as old as her. On my side, I have 10 nieces and nephews who would not be coming.
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  • shtaycee5shtaycee5 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Fsil is in the wedding also
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  • LnR70707LnR70707 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My grandmother tried to pull this (offered to have grandkid sit on her lap so we wouldn't need an extra chair...WTF).  My mother told her hell no and she got over it.  I suggest your FI do the same thing with his mother.
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  • ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    1.  Move the hell out.

    2.  Your FMIL doesn't get half of the guest list, as she's not getting married.  Really, she shouldn't get a list of her own at all.
    image
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  • felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When I first read your post I thought "its one kid who cares" but after you explained a little bit more, I understand.  I agree that it isn't fair that one of your FH's nieces gets to come and not all the rest, including yours.  I could see that starting issues at the actual wedding.  

    Who is paying for this wedding? If FMIL is footing some of the bill, this may be a problem because then she gets a say.  If you and your FI are paying for it, tell FI to stand up to his mom and tell her how its gonna be, in a nice way of course.
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  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    The issue isn't the guest list it's the living arrangement. 

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  • Paulo's Menina BelaPaulo's Menina Bela member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7c784ec0-3126-49a2-8525-6fae57873a24Post:9e57b2d7-aeea-4ed4-8d50-b1f9c65ef7bc">Re: NO children reception--HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]The issue isn't the guest list it's the living arrangement. 
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    This and why is FSIL's oldest child living with the grandparents?
    MIL is thrilled you're joining the family. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • shtaycee5shtaycee5 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She goes to school within our school district.

    We intend to buy a house before the wedding, but intend on getting wedding stuff procured away and then looking for a house again. We intend to stay in our area and the houses for sale aren't what we particularly want.

    FMIL is footing some of the bill, as are we, and my parents. My parents are making no concessions. They're actually pretty easy and laid-back.

    The first argument from her came up, "usually the bride gets half, the groom gets half" we're from the same hometown and besides our college friends, we have pretty much the same friends. she keeps trying to school me on weddings because she planned her daughter's in 3 months and pretty much had complete say because they footed that whole bill. about 175 guests, 150 being their family.
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