African American Weddings

MOH/Bell Ringer drama

OK my sis (MOH) is getting on my nerves about my bell ringer and FG dresses not being the same. My BR (her daughter and my neice) has one type of dress and my FG (my other neice) has another and she all pissed about it. I don't get it. First, I originally did not want a bell ringer but agreed so that Muff (what I call my neice) has a role in the wedding. My other lil neice I only get to see every couple of years, and I wanted her in this role.My sis is also upset about the headbands I want them to wear with the dresses????????? REALLY!!!!! I told her I would buy the dang things myself if that was the problem, but that's not it she simply does not want her to wear one. WWYD?

Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama

  • edited December 2011
    Your wedding. Your way.  Tell her this is what she needs to wear.  <---- see that at the end of the sentence tell her that's a period! LOL  I was having the same drama with my BM's and this one didn't want this kind of dress and this one wanted long dresses.  I stopped all the stressing when I said I will pick out the dress and let you know what you are wearing.  If they don't want to wear the dress then they can wear what ever they want seated in the audience.  Problem solved. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_mohbell-ringer-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ac2b42c9-463f-4943-98ce-f9f68df6d5d5Post:1e5325d6-0887-4d11-9a3d-3c8bafdd0e9c">Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Your wedding. Your way.  Tell her this is what she needs to wear.  <---- see that at the end of the sentence tell her that's a period!</strong> LOL  I was having the same drama with my BM's and this one didn't want this kind of dress and this one wanted long dresses.  I stopped all the stressing when I said I will pick out the dress and let you know what you are wearing.  <strong>If they don't want to wear the dress then they can wear what ever they want seated in the audience.  Problem solved. 
    </strong>Posted by djscat[/QUOTE]

    Lol!  I love it!  She is right.  Your wedding, you way; eIther conform or don't be in it.
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  • edited December 2011

    This is exactly what I am feeling, I have compromised and let go and let God when it came to MOH's dress ( she told me she was preggie and would be 7 and a half months by the wedding 3 weeks after I picked a dress), she wasn't sastisfied until I agreed to a maternity dress (not the one I picked!!!!!!! that could be altered). Mind you I was foggie headed back then, just out of the hospital, on 6 diff meds, stressed about work, kids, and wedding at the time so I was like screw it. And I hate the dress, but whatever! But I want the BR in this dress with this headband and my FG in a diff dress and headband. UGH! Some people are difficult for the sake of being difficult I think. I am gonna tell her that the decision is made and that's that.

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_mohbell-ringer-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ac2b42c9-463f-4943-98ce-f9f68df6d5d5Post:1e5325d6-0887-4d11-9a3d-3c8bafdd0e9c">Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your wedding. Your way.  Tell her this is what she needs to wear.  <---- <strong>see that at the end of the sentence tell her that's a period! </strong>LOL  I was having the same drama with my BM's and this one didn't want this kind of dress and this one wanted long dresses.  I stopped all the stressing when I said I will pick out the dress and let you know what you are wearing.  If they don't want to wear the dress then they can wear what ever they want seated in the audience.  Problem solved. 
    Posted by djscat[/QUOTE]

    I LOVE IT LOLOL!
  • wallacjewallacje member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_mohbell-ringer-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ac2b42c9-463f-4943-98ce-f9f68df6d5d5Post:1e5325d6-0887-4d11-9a3d-3c8bafdd0e9c">Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Your wedding. Your way.  Tell her this is what she needs to wear.  <---- see that at the end of the sentence tell her that's a period! LOL</strong>  I was having the same drama with my BM's and this one didn't want this kind of dress and this one wanted long dresses.  I stopped all the stressing when I said I will pick out the dress and let you know what you are wearing.  <strong>If they don't want to wear the dress then they can wear what ever they want seated in the audience.  Problem solved. 
    </strong>Posted by djscat[/QUOTE]


    I love the responses.  I was going to say what all of yall did, but thought it would be mean, glad i'm not the only one who saw it this way.
  • edited December 2011
    yeah... Yall are so much better than me. I don't do drama well at.all. I would have told her a long time ago to beat it. LOL
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  • FabbiegirlFabbiegirl member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_mohbell-ringer-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:ac2b42c9-463f-4943-98ce-f9f68df6d5d5Post:1e5325d6-0887-4d11-9a3d-3c8bafdd0e9c">Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Your wedding. Your way.  Tell her this is what she needs to wear.  <---- see that at the end of the sentence tell her that's a period! </strong>LOL  I was having the same drama with my BM's and this one didn't want this kind of dress and this one wanted long dresses.  I stopped all the stressing when I said I will pick out the dress and let you know what you are wearing. <strong> If they don't want to wear the dress then they can wear what ever they want seated in the audience.  </strong>Problem solved. 
    Posted by djscat[/QUOTE]

    <div>Love this! I always say that people (women to be exact) act funny around weddings, and they do.  Your sis is probably bothered that you are somehow making one niece feel more special than her daughter, and she does not want that.  I guess I can understand that, but she is stressing you out, and that is a no no.  Especially with the fact that this is not that big of a deal.  Nicely put her in her place by telling her that the dresses are different because the girls have different roles.  This denotes that, and leave it at that.  If she doesn't want her daughter in a head band, leave it.  I don't think that is worth worrying about. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_mohbell-ringer-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ac2b42c9-463f-4943-98ce-f9f68df6d5d5Post:638ddfcc-4cd0-475c-a241-3629327504b4">Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama : Love this! I always say that people (women to be exact) act funny around weddings, and they do.  Your sis is probably bothered that you are somehow making one niece feel more special than her daughter, and she does not want that.  I guess I can understand that, but she is stressing you out, and that is a no no.  Especially with the fact that this is not that big of a deal.  Nicely put her in her place by telling her that the dresses are different because the girls have different roles.  This denotes that, and leave it at that.  <strong>If she doesn't want her daughter in a head band, leave it.  I don't think that is worth worrying about. 
    </strong>Posted by Fabbiegirl[/QUOTE]
    I get what you're saying. But I want them in the headbands, I am thinking about the pictures and a couple of poses that I want. I am ready to tell her that if she can't wear the headband then she needs to sit with her dad during the ceremony, especially since I didn't even want a bell ringer in the beginning.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_mohbell-ringer-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ac2b42c9-463f-4943-98ce-f9f68df6d5d5Post:a9c8cb07-4b4b-4f89-b967-3dfdc96fc8cf">Re: MOH/Bell Ringer drama</a>:
    [QUOTE]yeah... Yall are so much better than me. I don't do drama well at.all. I would have told her a long time ago to beat it. LOL
    Posted by Soon2BSand[/QUOTE]

    LOL! You don't know how many times I have bitten my t ongue during this process, but I notice the closer that we get to D-day the more of what I really wanna say creeps out. I am sick of sparing everyone elses feelings at this point.
  • edited December 2011
    Your wedding; your day; your choice. As simple as that. Why do some people find that so hard to understand?!?!
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