Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inviting friends who are getting married the same day?

My fiancee and I are getting married next August, but have already been engaged for a year. We put down a deposit on our dream wedding venue in January because it was already booking up, even though it seemed like a really long time in advance. Three months later we found out that friends of ours had also planned early and scheduled their wedding for the exact same day! They had already rescheduled once, and there was no way they could change the date again. We are totally bummed about it, but trying to keep the whole situation as drama-free as possible, especially given that there are about 20 friends who will be invited to both weddings and are going to be in the awkward position of deciding which wedding to go to.

We've decided that we should invite all of our friends who we would have invited anyway, even a couple good friends who are in the wedding party for the other wedding, so definitely won't be able to come to ours. Our question now is whether or not we send save the dates and invites to the friends who are getting married. It seems rude not to invite them since they're our friends, but also, we're wondering if they might get annoyed by getting an invitation to ours, like we're ignoring the fact that they are also getting married that day and pretending like there's a chance that they might come to ours for some reason.

Thanks!

Re: Inviting friends who are getting married the same day?

  • If they were my friends - I'd just straight up ask them if they wanted an invite.  Maybe they're having the same dilemma.
    panther
  • My co-worker is getting married the same day I am.  Since I was inviting other people from work, I just asked her if she wanted me to send her an invitation.
    Married 10/2/10
  • I think I would send them an ivitation but put a little note in it (instead of a RSVP)saying something like, "we know you won't be joining us, but we wanted you to know that we're thinking of you"
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I would, just out of courtesy.
    09.10 Siggy Challenge
    PhotobucketMy favorite picture is of the night we got engaged!
  • I would send a wedding card to the couple getting married, and then send an invite to all the others that you would have invited.  As bad as it is to say, things change with weddings.  Dates get changed, weddings get cancelled, etc.  I would send STD's to them, and you can ask about the invites.  Honestly if my friends were getting married the same day I would still want to see their stuff to feel involved.  Especially after doing all of this myself, I love seeing what other people do for STD's and invites and such.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • I probably would, just as a gesture. I might include a little handwritten note - "So bummed things worked out this way and that we'll have to miss your wedding and vice versa. Here's to making January 11th, the best day of the year!" Or something along those lines!
  • Invite people who you would normally invite. Let them choose.

    And also communicate via word of mouth that there is no pressure.
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