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Confused

ellebaileyellebailey member
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in Registry and Gift Forum
So i don't really want a shower. I live with my FI and we are already bursting at the seams with stuff as it is. (we also have nice things so we don't really need to upgade anything either) But my future MIL really wants to throw one. We are getting married in Las Vegas so she and the rest of the famiy had nothing really to do with the planning. I want her to be happy i just don't want people buying us presents. I would rather they spend that money attending our wedding (if possible). I need ideas for alternatives to the typical shower. I had a friend who did a co-ed wine shower which i thought was a great idea except i don't drink. We did not have an engagement party but we have been engaged for over 6 months so it would be funny to have one now.

What do you guys think i should do?
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Re: Confused

  • tldhtldh member
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    Ask her if she could host an afternoon tea instead.
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  • krizzo17krizzo17 member
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    If she wants it to be a girls-only event, what about an afternoon/evening at a salon or spa?
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    And, of course, make sure she does not invite anyone to a pre-wedding event that is not invited to your wedding.
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  • meganb1977meganb1977 member
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    Hmm...maybe it wouldn't be too weird to have an engagement party, and that way you could have a co-ed event if you would prefer without it being a "shower" where people had to bring gifts.

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  • ellebaileyellebailey member
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    I've never heard of an afternoon pre wedding tea that wasn't a shower. I'm worried that would confuse people.

    @ kmmssg - Don't worry i will make it perfectly clear that only people invited to the wedding are to be invited. Cause it's totally something she would do - invite her work friends who have never met me or FI.

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  • teraliciousteralicious
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    Do you guys entertain a lot? Even if you don't drink wine having it around for others could be nice for any future dinner parties at your house.
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
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    How about a recipe shower? 
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  • saric83saric83 member
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    Ditto the recipe shower idea!  And I'm not sure if this would work well for your timing, but my family coordinated an ornament shower for me (I refused to show up to a regular shower), which was so lovely and inexpensive for the guests.
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  • cebrady89cebrady89 member
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    How far away is your wedding? If you're having a long engagement you could get away with having your engagement party now. Ours was nearly 7 months after we got engaged, but our total engagement will be 19 months, so it didn't seem weird.
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  • hoffsehoffse member
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    Yeah afternoon teas aren't showers.  There's a clear difference, the most obvious being no gifts.
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  • ellebaileyellebailey member
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    Hey guys thanks for all the comments/advice :)

    I decieded on a recipes shower. I won't register and my bridesmaids (who are co-hosting with MIL) will quietly discourage gifts. I was getting super stressed about the whole thing but my BM's convinced me to just go with the flow and let them do what they want to do. Because at the end of the day i am not throwing this party. I have enough to deal with regarding actual the wedding. People who want to bring a gift will and hopefully nobody feels pressured to.
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