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Engagement Party Stressssss and Rant

carolembcarolemb
100 Comments
in Louisiana-New Orleans
Okay. So I'm really thankful and grateful to my Mom for hosting an engagement party for my fiance and I. However, she's invited EVERYONE she knows!
My fiance and I were kind of hoping that this would be a chance for our two families to meet and get to know each other, but now that the guest list is at 160 rsvps I think it's pretty much going to be a circus in her garden home. (100 invites went out most of which are her co-workers and friends that my fiance and I don't know)
I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but do we have to invite all these people to the wedding???  The truth is we simply can't afford to feed them all at our wedding reception in addition to our friends and out of town family. It would be fine if she was paying, but she's not.
I don't want to be tacky but gosh!
Okay, Sorry if I'm being a brat. Just had to rant to someone. Thanks! 
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Re: Engagement Party Stressssss and Rant

  • Queen JaneQueen Jane member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, since your mom is hosting the party, she gets to make the guestlist. And, everyone invited to prewedding parties *should* also be invited to the wedding. If you knew you couldn't afford these people, I would have talked to your mom about it as she was making the list, before the invites went out, so now you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Hopefully you can squeeze them into your budget, or your mom could help cover the cost of the extra invitees.
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  • carolembcarolemb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    you're right. My fiance and I were just getting stressed out last night when I posted this. It's a wedding. Stress will happen. If it costs more then oh well. The important thing is that by the end of it, we'll be married!  :)
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  • citybayougirlcitybayougirl member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_louisiana-new-orleans_engagement-party-stressssss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:84Discussion:682ae099-a917-47b9-9d51-6e0bb015dc92Post:e1dbc948-1966-4253-b8b1-0713feb54270">Re: Engagement Party Stressssss and Rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]you're right. My fiance and I were just getting stressed out last night when I posted this. It's a wedding. Stress will happen. If it costs more then oh well. The important thing is that by the end of it, we'll be married!  :)
    Posted by carolemb[/QUOTE]
    You're mom seems to be super proud of her babys marriage, it will work out!
    Good luck
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  • LOLwaysLOLways
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should've talked to your mom about the fact that you can't/don't want to pay for all these extraneous people at the wedding. Since you're paying for the wedding, she should have coordinated this with you. You're both at fault, but you have to move forward. Go through her list and see who you *didn't* want to invite to the wedding. Then discuss her supplementing the wedding budget so those people can be invited, as proper wedding etiquette is that all invited to pre-wedding/ wedding-related parties have to be invited to the wedding.
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  • zoopsiedaisyzoopsiedaisy member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Vent all you want!!!  That's what this board is for IMO!  If you can let it out here you won't take it out on the people you love.  Ladies...give her a break!
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  • carolembcarolemb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks!!
    I was just freaking out for like 5 minutes, but it's okay now. We'll invite them all to the wedding and just manage our budget a little more carefully in other areas. Needed to vent at the moment!! 
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  • heatherfitzheatherfitz member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess I'm a minority but I don't think you HAVE to invite anyone you don't want to. Your mom went above you to invite unnecessary people, and yes, they are unnecessary. Now it's *your* responsibility to have to accommodate them because of that? Not in my book. My friends are throwing together an engagement party for FH and myself. I have no idea who's invited or coming. But we're going to have a destination wedding and I am not going to accommodate anyone and everyone who shows up to the engagement party. I look at that as a time to celebrate an engagement, not a time to put first dibs on a wedding invitation. My opinion, I guess.
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