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Picking a date/location--my fiance and I are both Military

mhokajmaymhokajmay
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in Military Brides
My fiance and I are both Active Duty Military---we are deploying next summer and would like to have our wedding sometime between Jan-May 2013. We are stationed in Northern California, but are both originally from PA and that is where most of our family is. I know that I really want a beautiful, simple, outdoor ceremony and a fun reception. I would love to have it out here in CA but we feel guilty asking our families to make the trip all the way out. However, I also feel frustrated by planning a wedding in PA because its so far away, It will be more expensive for us (traveling, getting everything we need there), and the weather is not nearly as predictable. Also, that is another plane ticket we have to buy. My fiance says we should just try to do a wedding over Christmas, but I am really not a fan of the winter for a wedding. However, we could always get our pictures taken out here in CA in the spring... I iust don't know :( We just got engaged 3 weeks ago and are really struggling to figure this out. We are also on a small budget.... Has anyone out there been in a similar situation? Advice? Thanks for your help!
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Re: Picking a date/location--my fiance and I are both Military

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    LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I think a winter wedding in pa would be beautiful and you'd also save money.
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    IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
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    Once you find a venue, planning a wedding long distance isn't bad at all. I found a great florist I trusted with my inspiration pictures and budget and she made final decisions. Got DJ recs from friends who had gotten married recently. After the ceremony, it's really just a big party! I vote winter in PA. Good luck!
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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    You and your FI need to decide what's most important to you both.  While a wedding in CA would be more convenient for you, it will likely be inconvenient for most of your guests based on cost of travel and time, which could leave you with very few people in attendance.  Cross country flights are not cheap, and are hard on travelers for a short period of time.  H and I have to travel cross country for a wedding that H is in and now I'm regretting that he is in it.  I love the couple and am excited for them, but it sucks that we have to drop at least $1500 for flights, hotels and a car just to go for probably 3 days, plus then the money for attire and a gift.  If he wasn't in the wedding we likely wouldn't be going.  

    I think a winter wedding in PA would be great.  When H and I were cross country from our home towns we had planned on getting married on New Year's Eve since we knew we would go home for Christmas.  We had to change that because of deployment schedules, but I wasn't worried about planning from a distance.  If it's in your hometown you likely have a lot of people to use for resources and referrals to vendors. 

    I know you are dreaming of an outdoor wedding, but personally I would either give up that dream for an indoor wedding, or wait until after deployments when you have better times to pick from.  I would never trust an outdoor wedding in PA between January and May, so with that timeline I think you could only do that in CA.
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    iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I would do the Dec wedding.  
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    sweetlilpsychosweetlilpsycho member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    What about POM leave?  When I was in the Navy, we would get a week or two of leave right before or right after deployment, and we'd go visit our families then, why not plan your wedding for the visit?  Unless you guys will have different leave times, but it sounds like you've got the same schedule.  Have someone back home scout for you and send pictures/video (like IrishCurls said, once you find the venue, the rest kind of comes together around that) good luck, and congrats on finding your boy in the Service!  That's where I found mine too :)
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_picking-a-datelocation-my-fiance-and-i-are-both-military?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:2fc38aed-3c61-40b3-9404-ca744dfa6299Post:7e9bc3ce-669e-4b35-aa05-3e2ed0491ec7">Re: Picking a date/location--my fiance and I are both Military</a>:
    [QUOTE]What about POM leave?  When I was in the Navy, we would get a week or two of leave right before or right after deployment, and we'd go visit our families then, why not plan your wedding for the visit?  Unless you guys will have different leave times, but it sounds like you've got the same schedule.  Have someone back home scout for you and send pictures/video (like IrishCurls said, once you find the venue, the rest kind of comes together around that) good luck, and congrats on finding your boy in the Service!  That's where I found mine too :)
    Posted by sweetlilpsycho[/QUOTE]

    It's a great idea in theory, but deployments can be pushed up or back, so it makes it really uncertain to plan this way.  However, no matter when, be sure to get a military clause added to all contracts that indicate if for any reasons related to your fiance's service he is unable to attend the wedding as planned, they will refund the money or apply it to a mutually agreeable date.

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    sweetlilpsychosweetlilpsycho member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_picking-a-datelocation-my-fiance-and-i-are-both-military?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:2fc38aed-3c61-40b3-9404-ca744dfa6299Post:452cab13-dbd2-447a-8f94-f661419af915">Re: Picking a date/location--my fiance and I are both Military</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Picking a date/location--my fiance and I are both Military : It's a great idea in theory, but deployments can be pushed up or back, so it makes it really uncertain to plan this way.  However, no matter when, be sure to get a military clause added to all contracts that indicate if for any reasons related to your fiance's service he is unable to attend the wedding as planned, they will refund the money or apply it to a mutually agreeable date.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    That's true, I forgot about that part, and when I was on the Chancellorsville, she always deployed and returned on time, so I guess we were just weird like that...
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