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Hurt and Confused

Hello everyone,

I have just had major brain surgery about 2 months ago now and at the beginning my moh was amazing you know not trying to push me to do too much planning and now that I'm feeling better and able to get out more she's becoming pushy and almost like she's putting down everything I have said I liked. I chose my colours a week or 2 ago and when I told her the colours she was like everyone will look like watermelons. We have decided on Jade for the groomsmen and bm dresses and the Watermelon for flowers and accents. I had also sent an email to all my girls asking them when they were free so that I could go dress shopping and have lunch with them cause they haven't really met. I have a moh, 2 bms, a jr bm, and flower girl. I then set the date and then sent a email asking what they were free that day and only one of my bms got back to me saying there was something that she wanted to go to in the afternoon so I made the appointments for 9:30 and 11:00 and when I told my moh she freaked saying I should know better that she has to get the kids ready and dressed. But yet she never got back to me and she has a husband that can do all that so she is now not coming and since then has been making me feel like every decision we make is awful. and I did take in to conseration that she has 2 small children but there was one appointment at 9:30 and then the next one was at 4:30 for the bms so that is why I chose the one at 9:30. 

I feel like nothing I am doing can satasify her. Am I wrong to feel hurt and confused, when she got married she made all the appointments I even had to miss work for some of them and never once did I complain about it. But yet now it's my turn and she's trying to run it like it's her second chance at the wedding of her dreams she makes me feel so small and like I shouldn't share any more wedding ideas with her. 

Re: Hurt and Confused

  • You need to have a serious talk with her. Not cool.
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  • It's not very fair of her to make appointments so you have to miss work, but complain that she has to have her kids ready so she can't make it to your appointment.  

    I think you need to have a talk with her like PP said.  
  • You should go with the BMs that could make it, pick a dress and tell her what it is.
    She doesn't have to rearrange her life to go dress shopping. 
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  • Find a time she CAN come, and have lunch just with you, your mom, and her.  And straighten all of this out.
  • She's my best friend so it kind hurts the way she is acting at the moment. I plan on still going with all my bms that can make it this weekend and I'm looking foward to it
  • Being a mom of 2...its not that hard to get out of the house in the morning if you wake up in time to get everyone ready...I think you need to have a talk with her, and find out why she is acting that way
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  • In Response to Re: Hurt and Confused:
    [QUOTE]Find a time she CAN come, and have lunch just with you, your mom, and her.  And straighten all of this out.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    Why on earth should OP bring her mommy?

  • >>Why on earth should OP bring her mommy?

    The OP just had brain surgery two months ago, which means that her mommy has been the wedding planner, the coordinator, the contract negotiator, for more than two months, and she will continue in the lead role as host of the wedding.

    It's common for the wedding planner to CALL THE MEETING to meet with the bride and the MOH to go over plans and details and see who is working on what, etc.  In this case, the wedding planner right now is the OP's mother.  And since the OP isn't very successful at communicating with the MOH, the wedding planner has a problem with both of them, so she needs to be CALLING THE MEETING to get this straightened out as I suggested. 
  • In Response to Re: Hurt and Confused:
    [QUOTE] />>Why on earth should OP bring her mommy? The OP just had brain surgery two months ago, which means that her mommy has been the wedding planner, the coordinator, the contract negotiator, for more than two months, and she will continue in the lead role as host of the wedding. It's common for the wedding planner to CALL THE MEETING to meet with the bride and the MOH to go over plans and details and see who is working on what, etc.  In this case, the wedding planner right now is the OP's mother.  And since the OP isn't very successful at communicating with the MOH, the wedding planner has a problem with both of them, so she needs to be CALLING THE MEETING to get this straightened out as I suggested. 
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    How do you even know her mother is still alive or at all involved in the wedding planning? They could be estranged. Hell, maybe her FI took on all those roles.

  • I have been doing all the planning while recovering, my moh has just made the last little bit so fustrating that I am almost to the point where Im about to lose it.
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