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Really torn ......

lindseyc1983lindseyc1983
in Wedding Woes
Hi All,
I am getting married in a destination ceremony in 15 days. My reception is  3 weeks afterward. I have been internally and externally batteling with my mother on whether or not to invite her brother whom she does NOT  LIKE/get along with AT ALL. I have no problems with him or his family,,,but when I bring up his or any of his family's name...she gets SO MAD. When I told her I was going to invite him and his family to the reception, she was swearing, yelling, crying, saying that i am disrespectful and that she was not going to show up at all to anything. She is a HUGE grudge holder. I honestly don't know what happened to them in the past, and honestly don't care. I have no bad blood with that side of my family. So, do I invite the uncle/aunt and cousins to the reception,, NOT tell her. or DO tell her?  and have my mom potentially throw a fit, cause a scene, and potentially never talk to me again? Or, do I not invite them, and really then that makes me look liek the ass, and i'd probably never talk to that side either (we aren't super close,...but still).  HELP !!!!!!
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Re: Really torn ......

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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_really-torn?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:316636a0-92d4-4764-a255-274f36b10752Post:19a448e0-7d1f-4d49-b464-2f41ed296e72">Really torn ......</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi All, I am getting married in a destination ceremony in 15 days. My reception is  3 weeks afterward. I have been internally and externally batteling with my mother on whether or not to invite her brother whom she does NOT  LIKE/get along with AT ALL. I have no problems with him or his family,,,but when I bring up his or any of his family's name...she gets SO MAD. When I told her I was going to invite him and his family to the reception, she was swearing, yelling, crying, saying that i am disrespectful and that she was not going to show up at all to anything. She is a HUGE grudge holder. I honestly don't know what happened to them in the past, and honestly don't care. I have no bad blood with that side of my family. So, do I invite the uncle/aunt and cousins to the reception,, NOT tell her. or DO tell her?  and have my mom potentially throw a fit, cause a scene, and potentially never talk to me again? Or, do I not invite them, and really then that makes me look liek the ass, and i'd probably never talk to that side either (we aren't super close,...but still).  HELP !!!!!!
    Posted by lindseyc1983[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Maybe try to figure out what the hell is really going on? Swearing, yelling, and crying is something people do about people who did something REALLY horrible, like molest them or something. </div><div>
    </div><div>If your mother is the type to throw these kinds of fits in an attempt to manipulate you, I'd say don't cave. Invite uncle and aunt and let the chips fall where they may.</div><div>
    </div><div>If your mother is otherwise sane and supportive of you and has good relationships with most people in general, then I'd think something is seriously wrong with this brother in a way that hasn't fully been explained to you, and you need to respect your mother's concerns.</div><div>
    </div><div>Finding out the truth would be most helpful, but if whatever happened has been a secret for decades, there's probably a good reason for that, and a wedding invitation isn't really a good reason to reopen old wounds.</div><div>
    </div>

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    TheVirginiansTheVirginians member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    My dad and his brother feuded for 30 years. At my sister's wedding, they behaved and realized they could get along. They were then friends for years ever after. One never knows what will happen! Invite him if you want to. Mom will just have to act like an adult.
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