MOH issues

Chip09 · February 2012

I was having trouble picking my moh because I don't really have any extremely close girlfriends. So I ended up asking my one friend if she would do it and she said yes. Since then we just can't seem to find time to get together, but that's not the issue. The issue is whenever I ask her to do something it's a "possibly" or she just doesn't respond back to me to make plans. I know she's not "too busy" because I see pictures of her on facebook out at bars with other friends, she just doesn't seem to have the time for me. I don't want to have to chase her around especially since another one of my bridesmaids is stepping up to the plate and offering suggestions and help doing wedding stuff. I got engaged 6 months ago ad my current moh hasn't come up with a single idea for the wedding. I'm lost and confused about what to do. any advice is helpful!!

Girlie1030 · February 2012

Your wedding is over 2.5 years away. You do nothing.

Chip09 · February 2012

the main reason I'm planning so far in advance is because my fiance just got deployed a few weeks ago, and I wanted to come up with ideas while he's gone. and she understands that

mbody · February 2012

It's not the MOH's job to come up with ideas. There are plenty of ideas on this website and boards that you can look through.

As far as getting together, ask when a good time for her is. Maybe she is busy when you're available? Are you friends with her group of friends? Could you meet them out for a bit?

OBX2011 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-issues-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7169927d-f872-464b-96de-cdb331b79889Post:27bc2f82-763d-486a-a9a5-29f4219ea5d8">MOH issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I was having trouble picking my moh because I don't really have any extremely close girlfriends. So I ended up asking my one friend if she would do it and she said yes. Since then we just can't seem to find time to get together, but that's not the issue. The issue is whenever I ask her to do something it's a "possibly" or she just doesn't respond back to me to make plans. I know she's not "too busy" because I see pictures of her on facebook out at bars with other friends, she just doesn't seem to have the time for me. I don't want to have to chase her around especially since another one of my bridesmaids is stepping up to the plate and offering suggestions and help doing wedding stuff. I got engaged 6 months ago ad <strong>my current moh hasn't come up with a single idea for the wedding. </strong>I'm lost and confused about what to do. any advice is helpful!!
Posted by Chip09[/QUOTE]

Why does SHE need to come up with ideas for YOUR wedding???

Chip09 · February 2012

I've asked her plenty of times when she's available, I've told her when I'm free on multiple different days and she doesn't respond to them. I don't know if it's because it's opposite schedules or what because there's just no response. I don't want to loose touch with her but at the same time I don't want to keep asking her to do things if she doesn't reach back to want to get together with me
and as far as ideas go, she doesn't have to come up with original ideas, but when I send her pictures of stuff I have found online and am looking for her opinion and she doesn't respond to them, that's what I mean.

graysquirrel · February 2012

If your wedding is 2.5 years away, I can see where she wouldn't be interested in working on it. It isn't her job to offer ideas, help DIY, go to shows, or research vendors. The only role of a MOH is on the wedding day. Maid of Honor is a one-day gig, not a job that lasts throughout your engagement. I would ease way back on the wedding talk with her until it comes time to BM dress shopping (6-9 mo out from your date). Even though you are super excited, some girls just are not into weddings and that should be respected. And if she feels pressured to do WR work for you, I can see where she'd be stand-offish.

I would set aside some time and get together without any WR talk. Take time to strengthen the friendship. Tell her that you miss her and would love to go for lunch/coffee/movie whatever.

chrryblndchick · February 2012

You're going to read these two things a lot on TK:

1) No one will be as excited for your wedding as you are.

2) The ONLY job your MOH or any other BM has is to buy the dress you pick out (after using a previously agreed upon budget) and to show up in said dress at your wedding, on time, and sober.

Maybe she feels like the only thing you want from the friendship now is wedding stuff and is avoiding you for that reason. Try giving her some space or offering to go to catch up on what's going on in her life.

Chip09 · February 2012

Thanks guys, I guess I've just been misinformed about the whole thing... Il lease up a bit I think I'll be less stressed too! Haha

Hilraythebride · February 2012

You really don't need to be planning if your wedding is 2.5 years away. As other posts have mentioned you sould be planning with your FI especially since he is getting deployed so he can have his say!

Your MOH doesn't need to give you ideas. If I were her I wouldn't want to hang out because I would be worried that you had planned something wedding related. You need to calm down and not jump on the crazy wedding plan band wagon so soon!

Also, you really asked your BP way too soon to be in your wedding. There are tons of threads here that are tales of woe about how they shouldn't have asked the girls so early because of one thing or another. Relationships change and so do people. I would have waited and asked them like 9 months until the wedding or so.

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