Latino Weddings

Do Latino's RSVP?!?!

FI and I had a discussion last night about RSVP's.  I told him that I was shocked that many people have not RSVP'd.  He then says, Latino's don't RSVP.  I'm like why the heck not.  It's not that difficult, all they have to do is send that little piece of paper back to us. 

Anyone else having a problem with their Latino guests RSVPing, or do people in general not RSVP or wait until the last minute to do so.
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Re: Do Latino's RSVP?!?!

  • edited December 2011
    Sad to say.But yes I believe it is a Latino thing. Well not to sound rude. But I suspect it's more of a Mexican thing. I'm Cuban and although we're not used to the RSVP once I explained the process to my family. They were like "oh, we get it" BUT my FH's family who is Mexican; laughs and says it's ridiculous. I say call them up instead. :)  
  • edited December 2011

    Ya, no.  They don't, but if you ask they will probably let you know if they are planning to attend.

  • NickDanielleBNickDanielleB member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You're gonna need to call. Its pretty typical for things to just materialize and no one let you know who's planning to attend. Take birthday parties for example, normally the phone call that something is going on doesn't happen until that week or sometimes even the day. 
  • CITALAUNICACITALAUNICA member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    haha sad but true...I would start calling and maybe just getting over the phone RSVP's that'll make it somewhere easier for you.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm originally from Venezuela and I have been living in the United States for 11 years now... I have to say, it *is* most certainly a Hispanic thing. We are not used to RSVPing (my theory is that the mail services so inconsistent in our countries that the custom was never established because it'd be extremely unreliable). 

    I know it's very important to know an exact guess count for a wedding, so unfortunately you'll have to make a few calls. Welcome to the Hispanic ways! and have fun on your wedding :-)
  • sharkgrlsharkgrl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lol, we don't rsvp and we are ALWAYS late.  Make sure you tell the guests in person. "we need a final count so there will be enough food for everyone, and if you are not there by (time) you will miss the ceremony."

    oh, and we will also take the centerpieces home with us as favors .

    But on the positive side, we will dance all night, make everyone feel like family, make sure everyone is fed and happy, and keep the party going!! and get ready for a latino baby shower in the future...it will be a community event, men and children included.
  • loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It might sound racist but that's normal, at least in my family, not only do they not like to rsvp, they like to take extra uninvited guests and shuddered at our 'no kids' rule ...sigh
  • Ken&CassKen&Cass member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    NO

    I got not one response from my dad's Mexican side of the family. (After I called them all and sent messages on Facebook and texted them.) I'm hoping that they don't show up because they aren't going to have food or a place to sit!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm having the same issue. Except it's not just the invitations-- it's anything that has to do with timing and being prompt. I get it might be 'the way' things are done, but it's really inconvenient when you're trying to nail things down and plan accordingly.
    loop0406 -- I got the same thing with the 'no kids' rule. Except my FMIL didn't ask, and invited all the children in her family without consulting us, and we DIDN'T invite the kids in our family. So now it's going to look really bad- like they're ok to come but not our sides'.
    Is it also a typical Latino thing for the women to overdress purely to compete with one another? FMIL is wearing a gown to our wedding (which is formal but not black-tie), and FI's response was that she's doing it to compete with her sisters, and they will all over-dress and not to be surprised if they go above and beyond the bridal party, because they want to be the center of attnetion and it's a Latino woman thing...
    IDK, if that is a cultural thing or just the type of family he comes from, but to me it's just rude.
  • sharkgrlsharkgrl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, the over-dressing is normal.  Haven't you noticed the dresses and heels (and stockings-wtf lol) just to go to the grocery store?  Just speak frankly with them  about it, tell them that the dress code calls for (a sundress, whatever) but not a (quinceanera gown).
  • Ken&CassKen&Cass member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_latino-weddings_latinos-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:680Discussion:b97d5c0e-67fa-4a49-8d2c-985c42d9d045Post:c52cd43f-0320-4e74-9ce2-8011a4a7b602">Re: Do Latino's RSVP?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it also a typical Latino thing for the women to overdress purely to compete with one another? FMIL is wearing a gown to our wedding (which is formal but not black-tie), and FI's response was that she's doing it to compete with her sisters, and they will all over-dress and not to be surprised if they go above and beyond the bridal party, because they want to be the center of attnetion and it's a Latino woman thing... IDK, if that is a cultural thing or just the type of family he comes from, but to me it's just rude.
    Posted by Krempn14[/QUOTE]

    This cracks me up! I just went to my cousin's wedding at the beginning of July and I swear I was dressed nicer then the wedding party! But what was I supposed to do.. they didn't bother telling anyone what sort of attire to wear. Meanwhile, my grandpa was in a hawaiian shirt.
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  • edited December 2011
    Hahaha. I mean, I don't mind if people dress up. I like that people want to dress up and not come in flip flops and shorts. But FMIL was with me with I picked out my dress, saw my sister get fitted for hers, and saw her niece's dress (she's in the wedding). FI even told his mother to please not go overboard and dress appropriately for the occasion, and pass it down the line of her family (they're Colombian).
    However, this all happened before FMIL bought her dress, and she still decided to buy a gown. So go figure. Part of me thinks it's just her trying to keep up with her society friends and show off, because FI's father's family (they're Venezuelan) are NOT like this at all... or is that just also a difference between those two countries?
  • edited December 2011
    hahahaha is sad but is the reality... We latinos usually do invitation and rsvp thru the mouth that it.. But when it come to a wedding You should let them know that is they dont send that little piece of paper on time the wont be in the wedding..
  • munkiimunkii member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My family must be strange because it was the standard Americans not RSVPing for our wedding--my family in Mexico submitted online RSVPs pretty promptly.  The timing thing...that's a whole other story.  Nothing about my wedding was on time.
    Matt loves Munkii!!!
  • edited December 2011
    yeah i have a rule for my wedding... you don't rsvp... you don't get seat...

    ppl need to RSVP, i will make calls to remind ppl but if i don't have a card 3 days before the wedding (when final headcount is due), I am not paying for you.  its one thing if its a regular party with buffet style food and open seating... but in a situation where you are paying per head, that is just unacceptable.  i am sure that this will be my bridezilla moment...
  • gibribuzgibribuz member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am so worried that my side of the family will not RSVP.  I will have my parents harass them until we get an answer. 
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  • edited December 2011
    LOL. Totally have the same nightmare giribuz! No, Latino's don't RSVP. Not quite sure why, but I'm totally prepping my mom to call the fam bam and get a yes or no. I joke with my fiance (he's white) "It's part of our Culture!" Ok, i'm rambling...
  • aclaroaclaro member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This message board is craking me up because even though its kinda racist towards latinos i cant deny that its true..we've decided to skip the RSVP all together because of this situation iut just seems like a waste of paper.
    But we are planning on controlling the "guest" some people think is ok to bring and putting on the invitation how many people are allowed and that you MUST bring the invitation..not sure on how to word it yet but thats how we're controlling head count
  • edited December 2011
    LOL- I have Conan's quote on my FB page. Love it!

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_latino-weddings_latinos-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:680Discussion:b97d5c0e-67fa-4a49-8d2c-985c42d9d045Post:4f87bee2-d38c-46ea-9d79-3af5c6486aae">Re: Do Latino's RSVP?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My family must be strange because it was the standard Americans not RSVPing for our wedding--my family in Mexico submitted online RSVPs pretty promptly.  The timing thing...that's a whole other story.  Nothing about my wedding was on time.
    Posted by munkii[/QUOTE]
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  • edited December 2011
    Unfortunately, I had to go after several RSVPs on my side, the Hispanic side. 
    Then, the 7 people that did not show up were ALL ON MY SIDE.  Yup, all the Latinos.  Embarassing.  Don't know what it is though, because I would never think of doing that to someone. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I've been reading this thread and cracking up because as a proud Dominican I can honestly say I didn't know what an RSVP looked like until I went to my first "white" event. I have to agree with sharkgrl with us being late and bringing un-invited guests to the wedding...its just the way we are.

    I made it a point to but in my invation the time a half-hour early and made sure to tell my mom to inform her family members that their kids could not come Innocent I know it sounds harsh but you gotta put your foot down.
  • mizzicantwaitmizzicantwait member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hahaha!! This thread is really funny!! sad but funny.

    I need to share this story with you girls...
    My fiance and I had our engagement party this past July (we got engaged in May). It wasn't anything big.. its just that my family and his family that live in Florida haven't formally met or all been in the same place at the same time. So our party was at 4pm on a Saturday. He has an aunt that is notoriously late for EVERYTHING! so we told her and her family our event was at 12:30... she showed up at 4:30. RIDICULOUS!!

    ---I'm actually thinking of sending her a special invite since once the ceremony has begun doors are closed and guest need to wait until the cocktail hour to enter.

    Good luck girls with everything!
  • JeansDayDreamJeansDayDream member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I printed the invitations for a friend's wedding in 2009. His now wife is from Ecuador and could not enter this country until six weeks before the wedding. I took care the invitations and the RSVP's. To control uninvited 'guests' I pre-printed the RSVP cards with the names of the members of the family who were invited, and also put a the number of invitees on the card.
    At the door of the reception two ushers checked the guests against the list and directed them to their tables.
    There was some difficulty getting the RSVP's returned. My friend was calling and confirming people on the morning of the wedding! I was changing the seating chart until the last moment.
    The RSVP's that really made me mad were those that handed me the pre-stamped card back instead of mailing it!
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