This may sound horrible, but I don't want a wedding. I'm very excited about starting a new life with my fiance, but I don't want all that is with a wedding. Reception or ceremony.
If anyone read my other posts, you know that my fiances family is not happy about our engagement. Though that doesn't have much to do with my decision about not wanting a wedding, a little part of me does feel badly for my fiance. My family is very close and tight knit, and as the only girl to get married, my grandmother,aunts, and mother, are all extremely excited about a wedding. Plus as the first to get married, my extended family is also. Because of all the excitement on my side, I feel a little bad that my fiance isn't getting that. Again, its a tiny part of why I don't want a wedding.
The main issue is I'm not an all about me type of person. I would be so uncomfortable having everyone focus on me and my fiance on that day. He also doesn't mind not having a big thing, but feels that since my family is so excited for it that maybe we should do something.
Originally I wanted to do a destination wedding. It would be limited since most people wouldn't be able to come cause of cost or time, and I was ok with that. I know it sounds horrible especially since they've all been there for me, but I just want it to be about us, not whos there. I would be happy just going to city hall with no one but us there!
I'm not sure what to do since this whole thing has made me crazy. My mother said it doesn't have to be a big thing, we could do a small intimate brunch. But even then she wants the traditional first dance and father daughter dance, cake cutting. But I don't want any of that. I don't want the attention to be on us, even though obviously it should be. I know I should be grateful I have so many people who love and support me, but I can't get over how I'll feel.