Military Brides

QOTD 9.1.11

Happy September everyone :)

What has been the worst wedding etiquette you have seen?

Worst I've seen has been Facebook invites. Ugh huge pet peeve of mine
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Re: QOTD 9.1.11

  • YoungDuoYoungDuo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A lady I work with, her daughter got married back in May. All she did was talk about it for months then she tells us that if there's room she would be able to invite us but she wouldnt know for sure until they got the RSVPs back. So rude. And just because she can be so annoying. Her son got married the same day as her daughter in private (just his parents and the girls parents) so they could live together (her parents wanted them to be married) but they're having their "real" wedding the middle of this month. It's actually a VR but they never told anyone besides their parents (and of course this ladies co workers) so everyone thinks they're getting married for real. Stupid lying..it's ridiculous..she's had showers, b-party, the works. And they lady I work with always tries to one up me when i'm talking about stuff for my one and only wedding, I want to be a b!tch and tell her that her son is not actually getting married bc he already is and it's not fair that they're lying to everyone. But I don't because it's not worth it. Ok i'm done venting :-P
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've never been to a wedding with bad etiquette.

    I have seen some crazy things on here though. One person wanted her guests to pay for their dinner. One person wanted people to play casino games and PAY to play. This money would then go to their honeymoon. Ugh.
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didn't really care, but I definitely thought it was strange.  I had a friend who is in the Army and stationed in Seattle-area who was getting married out there, and he knew most of his friends from the East Coast probably couldn't make it.  So he created a Facebook event and invited all his friends from back home, telling them that if they thought they could make it THEN they would get an invitation.  So he was basically inviting everyone but saying that he didn't want to waste money on invitations for those of us who couldn't go.  Definitely rude, but I don't think he thought it through like that, and I honestly don't think anyone from our high school group really cared.  We all understood cuz he and his wife were paying for the wedding themselves, and they had literally both just graduated from West Point.

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  • edited December 2011
    I haven't really seen too much - outside of the knot - some of these girls are insane! I like to think I was raised to do things the 'right' way most of the time. But I haven't really seen too much 'bad' wedding etiquette - yet. I'm sure I will here soon enough.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    All the weddings I've been in were amazing. 

    The one I went to. The mom planned the whole thing herself. Her daughters instead of helping their mom went to cali for spring break and had a flight back the day of the wedding... How rude.


    The only thing at a wedding that I was in. I was sewing on ranks 10 mins before the ceremony. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Yeah I have two.
    1. I had a guy that just had a JOP with his wife because he was getting ready to deploy. He made a facebook invite event to everyone on his facebook that said something along the lines of, "Hey we are married! But we didn't have a traditional big wedding so here is our registries and we would like the gifts by this date!"

    uuuh.. yeah right.

    2. When I first got engaged all we had planned was the date. We knew the date. My cousin (who I wasn't even planning on inviting) wrote me on facebook with a "Hey! When is the wedding? Oh yeah... uhh. I'm going to be on vacation that weekend. Can you go ahead and change that date?"

    He was dead serious. Not kidding. lol

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    An obvious B-list invite, where a girl I worked with told me she "forgot" to ask me for my address.  We got married about 3 weeks apart, and she text me a lot about where we were in our wedding planning.  If she would have just fessed up, maybe I would have went.  But since I knew she was lying I told her no.



    Can I put in an official vote for less wedding related questions?  I know it's a wedding board and all, but I get sick of wedding talk and like other threads.  If everyone else likes wedding talk, then that's cool and I'll just stay out of the threads.
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  • edited December 2011
    1. I was a BM for my BFF from HS. Her wedding was over 1 year ago and I never got a Thank You for our wedding gift.

    2. My Cousin and his wife never sent out Thank Yous.

    I don't think this is an etiquette thing, but it really bugs me when the Bride-to-Be wants/makes me sell sh!t for her at her Bach Party. I am more than happy to buy you drinks all night, but carrying around buckets of junk and asking people to buy it at bar is really tacky. IMO
  • LuluP82LuluP82 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh I have some good ones!

    1. H's cousin just got married. The invite came with an insert asking for cash since they had everything. We didn't go (it was overseas and we aren't that close) but we also heard that everyone was invited to the ceremony, but then only a select group to dinner-- the rest were supposed to go away and come back for dancing. Now, it's in a country where it's okay to invite people for just the dance, but in those cases, you just invite ppl to the dance-- not to the ceremony. We think she did it this way because she knew she'd get fewer gifts, since the people who just go to dance are normally not close and don't bring gifts. PS, she had FAMILY MEMBERS who had travelled on the no-dinner list-- they showed up to dinner and were told at the door they didn't make the list. I'm so glad we didn't go!

    2. A good friend of ours had a Sat evening wedding at dinner time with not enough food (just sandwiches and snack  platters). So not  okay.

    3. We recently got an email from an acquaintance announcing he'd been civilly married and sending us as BANK ACCOUNT number if we wanted to give a gift. Um, really?

    4. I also had an email STD asking for RSVPs right away so they knew if they could invite more people.

    I promise I know classy normal people too!
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  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ooooh. This ties in with the tackiest wedding I ever went to (I don't even have the space to describe it here, but trust me). So the wedding was outside, in early September, in Mississippi. Hot as hell and twice is humid. Once the wedding is over we head into the church rec room for the small reception. The wedding started about 11:30 a.m., so it's about 12:30 now, and we're all hungry and thirsty. There is no "real"  meal-like food, only snacks, and we are not allowed to eat or drink anything until the B & G come in. They decided to do all the pictures after the ceremony, so we sit, on chairs that are lined up against the walls, for almost an hour before we can eat anything. I'll admit, I did go get a soda from the drink machine because I was parched (I had also been her MUA that day, my friend was a BM). This also had the creepiest garter toss I've ever seen or heard of, and that's saying something.
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I really agree with Dnbeach - I do like this question better than some, but the month boards and the local boards are all about wedding planning.  This board is more of a social board, and certainly a place to ask wedding-related questions, but I think most of us prefer to chat about other things.  And when we stated that we'd like more interesting questions, we specifically said things that are interactive and will create discussions.  This is the only question so far that comes close to that.

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  • edited December 2011
    Again you can pm me suggestions. If you guys want different types of questions please pm me ideas so I know what types of questions to do in the future
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just don't get why you have to control it.  I get that it was your idea, and it was a good idea, but it makes no sense for you to be the one to filter all the questions when everyone is perfectly capable of asking questions when they feel like it.  Like FTL's open letter thread yesterday was very popular.


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  • edited December 2011
    I know I liked FTL's idea but LetsHike asked if someone could head it up and I said yeah I can so the board agreed on that. On my month board one person controls it and if others have ideas they pm her. Why are you against me doing it and keeping it organized?
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "Everyone" didn't agree.  Hike asked me to do it because, quite honestly, most people think your questions are silly and trivial.  So if you re-read that thread, she was basically asking if someone OTHER than you could head it up.  I was the one who said we'd give you a shot since you seemed to really want to do it.  But it's just not that interesting, and I don't think any of us want to be PM'ing you questions.  The only people who seem to like to PM people all the time are you and Kendall.  I think it is just an extra step when someone could perfectly easily post their own question.



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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just don't understand why it needs to be "organized."  This isn't a board with 500 active posters, and over 100 new threads a day where they need to be organized and controlled.  If people want to ask a damn random question, they shouldn't have to PM someone to do it.  

    If you want to do it so bad, then maybe keep the QOTD wedding related, and i'll just stay out of it.  
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  • edited December 2011
    Calindi can you go a day without personally attacking someone or being rude?
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-9111?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:52dd2871-6eb7-4026-a9b8-240282067fc2Post:aa8d7a14-d553-407d-87ab-d8dc6767ab51">Re: QOTD 9.1.11</a>:
    [QUOTE]Calindi can you go a day without personally attacking someone or being rude?
    Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

    <div>Clearly I missed the rude, attacking part.</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    I know I haven't been the best in the past but I am trying to redeem myself. Others seem to accept me and don't have a problem  with my questions. Seems to me Calindi likes to argue over the smallest things (for ex: her poll over QOTD) 
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well she's not the only one that has said things about QOTD.  Like today, I was  the first one to say about making it NWR questions.  I like the idea of QOTD if they are interesting questions.  And no, I haven't PMed you any because I don't have any in mind right now.  But I don't need to have any because QOTD wasn't my big idea that I'm trying to run with.  

    Also, and I KNOW we've had this discussion in the past with you, but you can't just come in and say you're sorry and expect people to forget things in the past.  I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'll still flat out call a spade a spade and say that I don't trust you or Kendall for anything.  And it annoys the crap out of me that you always try and play victim.  Like right now, and basically anytime something is said about you.  Obviously I'll never know, but I also find it incredibly ironic that you PMed Hike the other day right after we were talking about your past antics in another thread.  

    We have been EXTREMELY nice to you given your past, and even given you advice on certain thigns to help you out, like about your pinterest account, which I notice you have failed to take that advice.  You have just always come across as such a stubborn, know it all child to me, and that is something you can't change just by saying "Sorry, please like me now."
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-9111?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:52dd2871-6eb7-4026-a9b8-240282067fc2Post:1d038389-d877-4769-a787-5bd9d77a7b5b">Re: QOTD 9.1.11</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well she's not the only one that has said things about QOTD.  Like today, I was  the first one to say about making it NWR questions.  I like the idea of QOTD if they are interesting questions.  And no, I haven't PMed you any because I don't have any in mind right now.  But I don't need to have any because QOTD wasn't my big idea that I'm trying to run with.   Also, and I KNOW we've had this discussion in the past with you, but you can't just come in and say you're sorry and expect people to forget things in the past.  I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I'll still flat out call a spade a spade and say that I don't trust you or Kendall for anything.  And it annoys the crap out of me that you always try and play victim.  Like right now, and basically anytime something is said about you.  Obviously I'll never know, but I also find it incredibly ironic that you PMed Hike the other day right after we were talking about your past antics in another thread.   We have been EXTREMELY nice to you given your past, and even given you advice on certain thigns to help you out, like about your pinterest account, which I notice you have failed to take that advice.  You have just always come across as such a stubborn, know it all child to me, and that is something you can't change just by saying "Sorry, please like me now."
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>I know you commented on it first but you said it nicely. I don't know how I always try to play victim. I am grateful for the others who have treated me nicely but I am still trying to make ammends with others. I doubt you or calindi will change but that's my fault. As for the pinterest account I asked my FI about it and he said it's not a big deal I don't have to change it. I also talked to the adviser on my support group at school for military SOs and she has her first and last name and she said mine's fine

    </div>
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-9111?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:52dd2871-6eb7-4026-a9b8-240282067fc2Post:2477c11a-2c74-4fe1-aba9-95fc2e92ade3">Re: QOTD 9.1.11</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: QOTD 9.1.11 : I know you commented on it first but you said it nicely. I don't know how I always try to play victim. I am grateful for the others who have treated me nicely but I am still trying to make ammends with others. I doubt you or calindi will change but that's my fault. <strong>As for the pinterest account I asked my FI about it and he said it's not a big deal I don't have to change it. I also talked to the adviser on my support group at school for military SOs and she has her first and last name and she said mine's fine</strong>
    Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's not that it's illegal, it's just recommended that you take extra precautions.  So maybe they won't tell you to change it, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Here's an example of why it's a good idea not to have it up there.  </div><div>
    </div><div>-You had your full name, which I was then able to see your full FB profile from.  Which yes I know you now made it private, but I'm sure there were other people besides me who saw it. </div><div>-Some creepy guy who reads this forum (because you know they're out there) found your name, and your FI's name through Facebook.</div><div>-He sees you post on here when your FI/H is deployed, or gone to school, or something else</div><div>-He find your address in the phone book because he now has you and your FI/H's full names.</div><div>-He comes to your house, forces himself in and hurts you.  </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>And I'm sure you think I'm being outrageous, but it's happened in the past.  But hey, if your FI and the FRG leader told you it's fine, then obviously nothing bad will ever happen to you.  </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    I understand your concern but I don't post my address or phone number on Facebook or anywhere and we're unlisted. I feel completely safe around my FI and know he can protect me. 
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-9111?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:52dd2871-6eb7-4026-a9b8-240282067fc2Post:80a54371-628e-491f-a7c2-f728703208ac">Re: QOTD 9.1.11</a>:
    [QUOTE]I understand your concern but I don't post my address or phone number on Facebook or anywhere and we're unlisted. I feel completely safe around my FI and know he can protect me. 
    Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

    <div>Right, because the military guarantees you that your FI will ALWAYS be around you.</div><div>
    </div><div>Honestly Katelyn, it's times like this where you show your age and immaturity.  I feel completely safe around my H, and know I can protect myself as well.  It didn't stop me from getting an alarm system installed because it's fairly obvious we are a military family with the base stickers on our car, and it doesn't take too long to figure out when a ship is deployed.  </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-9111?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:52dd2871-6eb7-4026-a9b8-240282067fc2Post:43d47552-ab12-49bd-8b41-f2d4acb8f0a0">Re: QOTD 9.1.11</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: QOTD 9.1.11 : Right, because the military guarantees you that your FI will ALWAYS be around you. Honestly Katelyn, it's times like this where you show your age and immaturity.  I feel completely safe around my H, and know I can protect myself as well.  It didn't stop me from getting an alarm system installed because it's fairly obvious we are a military family with the base stickers on our car, and it doesn't take too long to figure out when a ship is deployed.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
    My FI will be home for a while now and our apartment building has very high security as well. I always carry my cell phone and pepper spray on me as well. I've learned a lot about protecting myself from when I was sexually assaulted last year. 
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well I'm very sorry that happened to you.  But it doesn't change that I'm completely baffled by the fact that you're so insistent on displaying your full name alll over the internet.  Usually victims of sexual assault are even more cautious and protective over information like that.  

    Whatever, I'm done.  I've tried to be nice about it, I've tried to help you.  But if you insist on acting so ignorant about online safety, then you're truly just acting like an idiot.  
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I leave for lunch and this is what this turns into?

    Katelyn, just stop playing the victim.  I'm blunt, but I'm not 'personally attacking' you.  Just because I disagree with your idea doesn't mean it's a personal thing.  Do I like you?  No.  Would I have posted the same thing if Sami or Dnbeach or Stan had done the same thing?  Yep.  But they wouldn't have thrown a temper tantrum and gotten all sulky about it.  I feel like this is 6th grade, and I don't deal with juvenile bullshite.

    I worded the poll neutrally, but in the hopes that you'd see that it's not just me attacking poor little you.  It's a democratic way of dealing with a difference of opinion, and if everyone said they'd rather have one person organize it, then great.  Cool.  But I'm clearly not the only one who feels it's silly to have everything mediated through you, or anyone for that matter, and that isn't a personal attack.

    What are you going to do in the real world when someone doesn't like your idea?  Are you going to pout and go sit in the corner?  Because I'm perfectly fine with you disappearing from this board, but you're going to have a heck of a time in real life if this is how you react.

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  • edited December 2011
    Accept a lot of people respect me in real life and if they don't agree they can tell me respectfully
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_qotd-9111?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:52dd2871-6eb7-4026-a9b8-240282067fc2Post:7ebf6f5a-397b-49ce-aa07-72e84685747c">Re: QOTD 9.1.11</a>:
    [QUOTE]Accept a lot of people respect me in real life and if they don't agree they can tell me respectfully
    Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]


    I think you mean "except" instead of "accept".

    I did tell you respectfully.  I was more than nice about it, up until you started throwing a temper tantrum.  Trust me, in real life people can be a lot more harsh.  But go ahead and stick your head in the sand - I've seen you GBCK a few times before, and I kinda hope this one sticks.

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  • edited December 2011
    Yes I did wrong word was in a hurry. And I'm not leaving completely im still gonna be on every now and then but I'm done with posting questions and whatnot if you're just gonna criticize me everyday
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