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MOH not standing out enough??

IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Hi ladies,

I have one MOH and 2 BM. Originally they all picked the same dress, but it was out of stock in the MOH and one BM's size so they haven't bought them yet. In the meantime, we found a different shape dress for the other BM with straps and shes so much happier. So now it's just my MOH without a dress, and the original one is back in stock in her size. I'm getting the feeling that she doesn't want to buy it because then the BM with the different dress will "look like the MOH." Besides a colored sash (which I don't love) what can I do to make her stand out a little bit from the party? She's my best friend and I want her to feel special, but just oder a dress already!!

Thanks!
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Re: MOH not standing out enough??

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    Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Just have her pick her own dress in whatever style.  She's your MOH.  She'll be holding your flowers and signing your documents.  She'll feel special enough without having to stand out. 
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    Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto.  Let her pick her own dress in the same color palate.
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    hlq2011hlq2011
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You've got one BM wearing a different dress; why not let the MOH pick her own as well?

    My six BMs are wearing 4 or 5 different dresses.  MOH and one other BM are wearing the same dress, but MOH is wearing a jacket with it - not to stand out, but because she'll feel more comfortable that way.  Incidentally, I'm wearing a bolero similar to hers for my ceremony.
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've never heard of the MOH being differentiated by anything other than a slightly larger bouquet before coming here.
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    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    ev4149ev4149 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My MOH has a different bouquet to make her stand out.
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't understand why the MOH needs to stand out, but this question seems to be comming up a lot, lately.

    Allow her to pick out her own dress. Then you'll have 3 attendants in 3 different dresses.

    Let her pick a dress in an complementary color.

    Add a brooch to her dress or some type of hair ornament.
                       
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    IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I dont think she needs to stand out--they were originally all happy with the same dress, but sizes weren't available. But now she's resistant to buying the original dress AND can't find one she likes, so I'm concerned that she feels like she's blending in too much.

    If she doesn't find anything she likes soon, I hope she just buys the original dress while they still have sizes available.
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-not-standing-out-enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f8e83090-7de4-423b-912d-c7a303298724Post:9723d535-6419-472f-8373-55729798726f">Re: MOH not standing out enough??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dont think she needs to stand out--they were originally all happy with the same dress, but sizes weren't available. But now she's resistant to buying the original dress AND can't find one she likes, so I'm concerned that she feels like she's blending in too much. If she doesn't find anything she likes soon, I hope she just buys the original dress while they still have sizes available.
    Posted by Irishcurls[/QUOTE]
    Have you asked her what her concerns are?  That would be more productive than just speculating.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My MOH is wearing our accent color of copper, rather than our main color of green. Also, all my girls have different dresses, but that's what people in my circle of friends seem to do so I just went along with it, and I think the effect is very pretty.


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    awick14awick14 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The MOH is supposed to stand out? Mine is wearing the same dress, same size bouquet. But she is the one standing next to me and the one holding my bouquet and signing the lisence is that not enough?
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    IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies, I agree that she doesn't need to be different. I'm just getting the feeling from her that she's not special. I think it's fine either way, I just hope she finds a dress she feels great in. 
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    asialee2asialee2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    All of my girls have the same dress but the MOHs bouquet is different. 
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    alehayesalehayes
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-not-standing-out-enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f8e83090-7de4-423b-912d-c7a303298724Post:d312d91a-3576-42fd-a26d-b6e7eef193a1">Re: MOH not standing out enough??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've never heard of the MOH being differentiated by anything other than a slightly larger bouquet before coming here.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ditto.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Similarly to hlq2011, my MOH is wearing a cardigan over her dress for personal comfort, so that'll help differentiate her I suppose.</div>
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    ekelly83ekelly83 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was going to pick the same dress for my MOH, but in a different color... But my MOH didn't want to "stand-out" that much. So, she is getting a bigger bouquet.
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    heinz11mswheinz11msw
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    my 2 MOH are wearing rhinestone headbands, different necklaces, and their bouquets will have more roses as opposed to the BM having more of the "mix" of flowers and less roses. Hope this helps.

    You could also tell her to pick out shoes that are way different. For example, if your BM are wearing silver shoes, let the MOH get her shoes dyed to match the dress.

    But all in all... I wouldn't go too overboard because you don't want the BM to think that the MOH is this goddess who is soooo much more important than them.

    LOVEMUFFINS... what do you use to make that cartoon pic of the bridesmaids? it's so cute.
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    heinz- go to davidsbridal.com 
    click on 'dress your wedding'
                       
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    heinz11mswheinz11msw
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    cool beans thank u
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oops sorry, I was slow. LOL. Thanks MairePoppy!

    Just an FYI, you can't save it like a normal pic - in order to get that pic you have to take a screen shot, then I used paint to Edit.
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    specialk84specialk84
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-not-standing-out-enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f8e83090-7de4-423b-912d-c7a303298724Post:d312d91a-3576-42fd-a26d-b6e7eef193a1">Re: MOH not standing out enough??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've never heard of the MOH being differentiated by anything other than a slightly larger bouquet before coming here.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    <div>My mom swears the MOH has to be different.  That's how they did it in Texas in the 1970s, and that's how she wants it done now.  </div><div>
    </div><div>The girls are all getting dresses from Alfred Angelo.  My MOH's dress is cobalt with a pink sash.  Her dress has a sweep train.  The two BMs are getting a cobalt dress with spaghetti straps.  One of them is having a modesty panel put in.</div>
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    mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My MOH will stand out by standing closest to me :-)
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    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    All my BM's will have the same dress and bouquet. I don't think she has to be "differentiated" by dress or anything, but if she finds another dress in your color she likes, go ahead and let her choose a different style.


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    lsk40lsk40 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What are your wedding colors if you have two she can wear one and the BM can wear the other
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    Haceto27Haceto27 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I really wanted my MOH to stand out but I didn't like the sash idea either. I was kinda stuck for ideas so I just asked her what she wanted. She's very modest and was adamant that I stand out, not her. She did decide to have a different bouquet though, she loves white roses so she'll have those while my other BMs will carry white hydrangeas. I definitely think you should just ask your MOH what her concerns really are and decide together what you can do to make her "stand out."
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