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Wedding Date Advice

I know that this decision is ultimately up to me and my fiancee alone, but we have been back and forth for so long, and I have been back and forth even in my own mind, that I could really use some outside advice.

We just got engaged earlier this month, but were hoping to have our wedding before Christmas of this year, and because of other things going on and general holiday busy-ness, we have narrowed our dates down to November 24 (the Saturday right after Thanksgiving) and December 1.

The church and hall are open both dates.  The MOHs and Best Men can make it either day; that is not an issue.  The same goes for our immediate family-parents & siblings.  Also, the photographer & caterer are friends of the family who can also do either day.  One would be fall-themed and the other winter-themed.  I am not worried about that, I have ideas for both.

Here is the issue:  his whole family lives fairly close (the furthest would be a 2 hour drive), and he seems to think that Thanksgiving time is too busy to have a wedding that weekend, so he is in favor of Dec 1.  I am in favor of Nov 24, because I do have out-of-town family that I would really like to be there, and I know they would like to be there as well.  It is much easier for them to come in over Thanksgiving since it is a long weekend, because of jobs and kids in school and such. (I live in PA and they live in FL, MI, and MA).  I have checked with my godparents, who are very important to me, and they will be able to make it both dates, so it only comes down to about 11 people (including first cousins, aunts, and uncles) who might have a problem coming in.  Our entire wedding will be around 400 guests, and I understand that I can't cater to everyone's schedule. 

I don't expect anyone to help me pick a date, but here are my questions:

Am I too worried about that handful of family members coming in, and should I adopt the attitude that, "if they can make it, great, and if they can't we'll miss them but it's not the end of the world"?

Also, is anyone else planning a wedding around Thanksgiving or another holiday, and do you have any concerns of people being "too busy"? It never really occurred to me that Thanksgiving was a very busy time except for the day of, and maybe if you go black Friday shopping...?

Thank you very much for reading this!  Sorry it was so long, but any input would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks!
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Re: Wedding Date Advice

  • I think the best thing to do is make a list of VIP's - the people that you really really really need to have there (do this with your FI) and pick the date that works best for them. No matter when you choose to have your wedding there will almost always be someone who can't make it. Try not to beat yourself up about this too much.

    H and I got married Dec 6th 2011. However we had a private DW and didn't have to account for people not being able to show up.
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  • The only problem with the Saturday after Thanksgiving could be the avaiability of travel and travel costs.   If any of your out of state guests will be flying in flights may cost more and are usually very full during Thanksgiving.

    Other than that the PP are very correct in that you will never be able to please everyone.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-date-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:039401e7-0498-4da4-8ff5-3710468adabfPost:0e78ca69-499f-4ae1-aeb5-696e88a041c5">Re: Wedding Date Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only problem with the Saturday after Thanksgiving could be the avaiability of travel and travel costs.   If any of your out of state guests will be flying in flights may cost more and are usually very full during Thanksgiving. Other than that the PP are very correct in that you will never be able to please everyone.  
    Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]

    I agree with flight costs, and I usually don't like weddings so close to holidays just because you never know someone's traditions and plans, especially with in-laws on the other side (example: what if it's a tradition for your cousin's spouse's family to be together every Saturday after thanksgiving).
    I think ultimately, either day will work for you guys, but if it came down to it I would pick the December date.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-date-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:039401e7-0498-4da4-8ff5-3710468adabfPost:0e78ca69-499f-4ae1-aeb5-696e88a041c5">Re: Wedding Date Advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only problem with the Saturday after Thanksgiving could be the avaiability of travel and travel costs.   If any of your out of state guests will be flying in flights may cost more and are usually very full during Thanksgiving. Other than that the PP are very correct in that you will never be able to please everyone.  
    Posted by kikirst33[/QUOTE]

    This.

    I haven't even been able to travel to see my parents the last few Thanksgivings because of how expensive and packed the flights are.  It's such a pain to travel over holidays. 

    Something else random to think about is that the 24th will actually be Thanksgiving every once in a while. Are you comfortable sharing your anniversary with a holiday? I know some couples that don't really pay attention to their anniversaries while others like to do something special. 

    But, if you love that weekend and it's coming down to just a handful of people who you aren't sure about, I really wouldn't worry.  Pick the date that works best for you.
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