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Engagement Party Budget?

MaeganAndKevinMaeganAndKevin
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Hey guys!
My parents are throwing my fiance and I an engagement party on April 9th this year! We got engaged last Summer (June 17th,2009) and we get married next Summer on June 17th 2011. Is it too early? I don't think so, but people have been asking..lol

People are also asking me if they should bring presents to this...which makes me think others might too. I said no, don't bring them, because I will have Showers and all other types of events and I wouldn't want them to think they need to bring more presents to each of them!  Should I include that we aren't expecting gifts on our invites?

My parents are spending a pretty good amount on this party..I'm thinking $1,500..just for the engagement party..is that WAY too much or do you think that is reasonable, considering they have a DJ,food,alcohol,etc? Our budget for ALL wedding expenses are (hopefully) around 20,000..probably alittle more or a little less. My parents are paying for everything. I'm thinking this is kinda blowing our budget...lol!
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Re: Engagement Party Budget?

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    JennasourusJennasourus member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey, 

    Well what is too much is really up to you and your parents. What my parents are doing to cut cost is doing a lunch party. That cut down the price a lot! But considering they are getting food, alcohol and a DJ for that pice i would say thats a super good price. Apparently you are supposed to have your engagement party around 3 month after getting engaged... but honestly i don't think that really matters.

    as for presents obviously people dont HAVE to give you a gift at all. the point of the party is to celebrate your engagement with the people you love and to have the families and friends all meet!. I would tell your parents to not include anything on the invite.. that seems weird. but if your friends ask about a gift just say of course you don't expect that and you just want them to be there to celebrate!
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    MaeganAndKevinMaeganAndKevin
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you! I don't have any other bride-to-be friends so I figured I would turn to you guys!! haha, this makes me feel better, just a little reassurance about junk :] I hate the "all about me" feeling of the wedding parties, lol I guess that didn't help either!
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    gailpetegailpete member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No one is expected to bring a present to any party related to the wedding (including the wedding itself), but a shower.  So don't put anything on the invites.  It would be considered rude.  You don't say how many people are invited to the party, but remember they all must be invited to the wedding.

    As far as budget goes, if it is coming out of your total wedding budget, it may be somewhat high.  You shouldn't have the engagement party any fancier than you expect the reception to be.  Only you can really know.  For my DD's engagement party we had cocktails and appetizers in the backyard.  There wasn't a DJ and it was very nice.  I think we spent around $500 and had 40 people.  If it were me, I'd skip the DJ and save that money for a nicer reception.
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    MaeganAndKevinMaeganAndKevin
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are hoping for about 40 people also! I think I didn't specify the present thing. I KNOW my family is going to bring stuff to ALL of the parties, whether I tell them not to or not haha! They are just like that, I kinda feel as though I want to include that on the invite because we just went through this for my cousin's wedding. My mom and my cousin are close and she felt as though she needed to bring something to everything we were invited to, although the bride told her she didn't have to. Afterward, we heard that's what most people in my family were thinking!

    Seeing this, do you think we should include this in the invites?

    My mom had this picture in her head about a place to have my engagement party, I told her that I would be more than hapy just to have a little get together at our house, but she said she wouldn't have it any other way! lol She found this place and everything (dj,alcohol,and decor is all included) and she is thrilled. The place is nicer than our community center but in NO WAY as nice as our reception, so I'm not worried about that part. I just didn't know about the budget part, I wanted to save them some money, but the more I'm talking to her, I'm thinking she just wants us to have fun and she isn't really worrying about this budget. Maybe she isn't considering the party a wedding expense. lol :] 

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    gailpetegailpete member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I understand why you would want to put it on the invitiation but I would stick to word of mouth for the "no gifts".  People will still bring them if they want to no matter what you do.  To put it on the invitation is a major etiquette blunder.  When any one asks say "your presence is gift enough".  If they insist on bringing something, just set them off to the side and don't open them until after the party.  That way anyone that abided by your wishes and didn't bring a gift won't feel bad.

    HTH
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    LisaTyler1984LisaTyler1984
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it's rude to show up to a party with no gift- unless people are flying in and have to pay for flights. Would you ever show up to someone's home without a gift? No. You would bring a cake or a bottle of wine. Well, if your e-party is at a restaurant or catering hall, people will bring gifts. Your wedding is a year away. Why is it so horrible to get a gift now? When I go to an e-party or when my family came to mine, it is assumed that you are trying to save $ for your wedding. In my circle, people give checks to put towards your wedding savings and get you started. I made a few thousand for my e-party and put it towards downpayments for my wedding vendors.
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