October 2012 Weddings

keeping the guest list small

I really want to keep the cost of the wedding low and keep everything more intimate by keeping the head count down to 100 people or less.  When it comes to the guest list, I have a lot fewer family members and close frineds that I want to invite than my fiance does, and I am having a hard time getting him to keep his number down.  There are people he feels obligated to invite because he has known them his whole life, but I have only met them once or twice if at all, and he also has some friends that he wants to invite that I don't really care for and that i can see causing a scene.  How do I go about telling him that there are certain people we really don't need to invite without  making a big deal out of it?  It is almost to the point where I want to tell him that we either keep it down to less than 100 or we elope and forget the whole wedding!  HELP!!!

Re: keeping the guest list small

  • I'm not sure if you're planning on having a dinner after your ceremony, but one thing I did to help explain the cost of having so many quests to my fiance was to show him, "Okay, if we chose this venue and spend $____ per plate for dinner, and we invite 150 people, we will spend $____, or if we only have 100 guests, the cost is $____."

    The numbers should (hopefully) speak for themselves! The most expensive part of the wedding is the reception, because you have to purchase enough cake, drinks, food, etc. for the number of guests you have. 

    If that doesn't work, try explaining to him that you have a vision of having a more intimate wedding, where you are able to mingle and spend time with every guest, without having to worry about neglecting someone.

    Hope that helps!

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  • i agree with rachael- spell out the numbers for him 

    i had the same issue with my FI over inviting his younger cousins and his 2 friends that have children. I didnt want any children at the wedding period, it wasnt my vision at all. but in the end i caved, you gotta pick your battles right?

    we did compromise a little, i got him to agree to increase our photog budget since i was giving him his way on the guest list. 
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