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Vow renewal and pre-parties

babydollltdbabydollltd
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
I am looking for some input on what people think about someone renewing their vows after 20 years (very small cermony the first time with no frills). The wedding party wants to have a shower and a "bachelorette" party. There is someone who doesn't agree. What does everyone else think of this???
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Re: Vow renewal and pre-parties

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would find it odd to have a shower and/or a b-party for a vow renewal.  If you take the name literally, you can't really have a b-party as you're not a bachelorette if you've been married for 20 years.

    And I think a "shower" typically implies a bride setting up her first home.

    Sorry, I vote no for either one.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    These are the ladies who were in your wedding 20 years ago?  If they want to do it ,I see no reason not to and it could be fun for all of you to get together again.  Go out for a fun dnner and drinks (no pin on the penis)

    I think it should be done more in fun than actually showering you with expensive gifts though.  Some racy lingerie, a fun cookbook, etc.

    Who is it that thinks it's a bad idea?
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If it's an intimate get together then it could be fun.

    But if they're wanting you to go through a full on registry and invite a ton of people like you're just getting married I vote no.
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  • babydollltdbabydollltd
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    These are not people who were in the wedding 20 years ago. There was no bridal party, shower etc. Only people in attendance last time were the partents and bride and groom.

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  • babydollltdbabydollltd
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ootmother2 thank you for the message I appreciate it. Thats all that was wanted was a little feed back.
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  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If a small group of people wants to have a small get-together, that's one thing, but if they're talking about inviting a large group, I would decline.  You are likely to offend some people by doing that.  Of course, I think even having a WP for a vow renewal is over the top.
    Married 10/2/10
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why not?  They didn't just get married 5 years ago.  Just don't call it a bachelorette party...call it something else.  I'm all for a party!  Showers don't have to be blenders and toasters...although quite frankly mine are old and I could use some new stuff!  I went to a lingerie shower for a 25 year vowel renewal.  It was a HOOT!  The invite was along the lines of helping them renew their sex life too  Wink

    Maybe you just have to be our age to get it!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    >>If a small group of people wants to have a small get-together, that's one thing, but if they're talking about inviting a large group, I would decline.  You are likely to offend some people by doing that.  Of course, I think even having a WP for a vow renewal is over the top.

    This.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    My aunt and uncle did a vow renewal at 50 years.  They had a reception in the church hall afterwards, nothing fancy.  People gave them cards and some gift certificates.  After 50 years of marriage and over 40 years in the same house they had no need for more stuff.

    To me the idea of a shower and/or b-party seems odd.  However, if a group of people want to get together and do something that would be fine but they probably shouldn't invite anyone outside of the group.
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  • babydollltdbabydollltd
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you never had anything for the first one and had to wait for 20 years why does it seem strange to have a wedding party, some sort of shower or girls night? If that is something that the person never had and could not afford and people were more than happy to be involoved why is that weird?
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_vow-renewal-pre-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:6851c0dc-0dad-44b5-9801-a8d52db2b0f2Post:0910ed2f-4c33-4fab-b2e4-76dfbc054f13">Re: Vow renewal and pre-parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you never had anything for the first one and had to wait for 20 years why does it seem strange to have a wedding party, some sort of shower or girls night? If that is something that the person never had and could not afford and people were more than happy to be involoved why is that weird?
    Posted by babydollltd[/QUOTE]

    babydoll:  you asked for opinions, and you got them.  And the circumstances of the first wedding don't really change my mind.

    IMO, there has been a successful (I assume) 20 year marriage.  And that is, to me, more important than a 1 day PPD party.  Given the option, I'd be spending my $$ on a great vacation-trip of a lifetime so to speak, to celebrate my anniversary, rather than trying to re-create something that didn't happen 20 years ago.

    As a disclaimer, I should probably add that I've been married for 32 years, and my DH and I see absolutely no reason to have a vow renewal.  We meant what we said 32 years ago, and don't feel a need to have another "wedding".

    It sounds like you want to have the prewedding parties.  So have them.  Just know that some people will find them inappropriate.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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