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Invitation Etiquette

ajmcquinajmcquin
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi everyone,

I have a question on invitation etiquette.  My fiance and I grew up in different areas of the country, but we both live in Chicago now and plan to get married here.  There are several family friends that we feel like would be able to come if the wedding were in our respective hometowns, but probably would not want to/be able to travel to Chicago for the wedding.  The questions is, do you still invite everyone knowing they probably won't be able to make it, or will it just look like we sent an invitation to them in order to get a gift?  I don't want to offend anyone by not including them and I really would like it if they did decide to travel and come to the wedding, but I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to come or send a gift.

Thanks!!
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Re: Invitation Etiquette

  • shortee426shortee426 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-etiquette-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:774dca27-2f00-402a-ba9d-e7fb864781afPost:8c0e3bd2-46c6-4d14-8001-1ed9115eb4da">Invitation Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi everyone, I have a question on invitation etiquette.  My fiance and I grew up in different areas of the country, but we both live in Chicago now and plan to get married here.  There are several family friends that we feel like would be able to come if the wedding were in our respective hometowns, but probably would not want to/be able to travel to Chicago for the wedding.  The questions is, do you still invite everyone knowing they probably won't be able to make it, or will it just look like we sent an invitation to them in order to get a gift?  I don't want to offend anyone by not including them and I really would like it if they did decide to travel and come to the wedding, but I don't want to make anyone feel obligated to come or send a gift. Thanks!!
    Posted by ajmcquin[/QUOTE]

    If you invite people you genuinely want there it will not look gift grabby.  Plus, you never know who will surprise you by coming.
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    Anniversary
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  • kcscejalkcscejal member
    1000 Comments
    You should still invite them if you want them there.  A surprising number of people travel for weddings.  Whatever you do, don't invite more people than you have space or money for because you're assuming they won't come.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker

    Most couples have friends and family that live OOT that they want to invite.  We had about 40 people probably that didn't live within driving distance, but we still invited them.  Not all of them came but we would never exclude them because they didn't live where the wedding was.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If they are close to you despite the distance, by all means invite them. They may or may not be able to come, but like pp's have said, you may be surprised at who attends.

    Now if you haven't talked to them in years and are just inviting them, then yes, you may appear gift grabby.
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  • aegrishaegrish member
    1000 Comments
    Only invite them if you can actually have them attend.  You may be surprised as PP said as to who RSVP's yes.
    TRUE LOVE *updated* imageTASTES AND TRAVELS
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  • sister2groomsister2groom
    1000 Comments
    You don't know for sure their financial situation, send the invites to those you want there (and make sure you can fir them if they all decide to come).
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  • squirrlysquirrly member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    If you want them there and can afford to host them if they say yes, invite them.  It's an invitation, not a summons.  :) 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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  • earthariceeartharice member
    First Comment
    You don't know for sure their financial situation, so only send the invites to those if you can actually have them attend and make sure you can fir them if they all decide to come
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