June 2012 Weddings

Question about seating the Bridal Party

So I know I don't have to decide this now, but for some reason it's really been bugging me. I really wanted to have a head table with me, FI, and the BMs, and GMs. Total that would be 14 of us. But lately I've been thinking that the logistics of sitting the bridal party's dates might get tricky. Some of their dates won't know anyone else. And since there is so many people in our bridal party, I don't think we would have enough room to seat their dates with us too. I really like to look of head tables and would be so uncomfortable at a sweetheart table but I just don't know what to do.

What are you ladies doing? Anyone running into the same issue?

Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party

  • Including myself, FI, BMs, GM, and their dates we have 13 people.  They say the tables can hold 12 people.  I'm calling tomorrow to see if we can squeeze 13 in since FI and I will probably hardly be sitting much.  His brother is a GM so I said maybe he could sit with the rest of the family but FI wants none of that.  If we can't fit 13 at our table, we'll have to go with a sweetheart table which we REALLY don't want.  Let's hope they say we can fit 13...
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  • We are doing a head table w our wedding party.  I assume the WP's dates will be fine sitting together even if they don't really know each other if its just for dinner.   Dinner won't take that long.  They will be fine.  Though most of the dates will know each other.
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  • I'm doing a SH table because of this - I thought about it and my FBIL and FMIL's relationships are both pretty new so they won't know anyone. Besides, their dates are going to be there to hang out with them so I didn't feel right about taking them away.

    Have you considered a King's table?
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  • What's a kings table? I've never heard of it?
  • We are doing a sweetheart table. We went to a wedding where FI was a groomsman and I wasn't in the wedding party. There was a head table and we were not seated together. We did not see each other all day and absolsutely hated it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reconsider. This sealed FI and I doing a sweetheart.
  • We were planning a head table for the,4 GM, 4BM and us and then their dates would sit together at a table. However all of ours (except MOH and BM) are family to us. We figured it wouldnt matter since their are prewedding activites (including th RD) that they would meet before hand. And we chose closest people to us which means we all will be hanging out later in life at gatherings and such.
  • I don't want to split my BP and their SOs up. I would hate going to a wedding that FI was in, where I knew no one, and was sat at a table w/o FI. We are doing a sweetheart table for that reason. Plus, I think it will be nice to sit and eat dinner with him "by ourselves". Why would you feel uncomfortable at a sweetheart table?
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  • We are doing a sweetheart table so the WP can be with their SOs.  Plus, the table would have been long and looked out of place IMO in the room our reception is in.  I've been in weddings where my FI wasn't and vice versa and it never seems to be as fun for us.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_question-about-seating-the-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:669b8f86-118b-4810-b9d2-107195dca222Post:eec5412c-d714-46b7-a65f-259afe39f2a8">Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't want to split my BP and their SOs up. I would hate going to a wedding that FI was in, where I knew no one, and was sat at a table w/o FI. We are doing a sweetheart table for that reason. Plus, I think it will be nice to sit and eat dinner with him "by ourselves". Why would you feel uncomfortable at a sweetheart table?
    Posted by SheilaDancer43[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. I would rather be gazing into my new husband's eyes, rather than feeling like everyone was watching me eat...</div>
  • We have 9 people total at our head table. Only 3 will have dates but they'll be ok at the table I did for them. They know other people at the wedding
  • I would feel uncomfortable with a sweetheart table just because I feel like it makes people more likely to stare at us and that thought makes me uncomfortable. Also, I for some reason feel like it also makes people more apt to come up and approach us during dinner than of there was a head table. Maybe I'm crazy but that's my perception. That being said, I totally wouldn't want to be split up from FI either do that's where I'm really torn.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_question-about-seating-the-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:669b8f86-118b-4810-b9d2-107195dca222Post:e072ebc1-9a58-4f7e-8df6-347585b6d9ff">Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would feel uncomfortable with a sweetheart table just because I feel like it makes people more likely to stare at us and that thought makes me uncomfortable. Also, I for some reason feel like it also makes people more apt to come up and approach us during dinner than of there was a head table. Maybe I'm crazy but that's my perception. That being said, I totally wouldn't want to be split up from FI either do that's where I'm really torn.
    Posted by Cassiebug11[/QUOTE]

    You're not crazy, I just see it differently (and everyone has their own points if view). The way I see it, is that all eyes are going to be on you the whole day anyway. Even if you are at a head table, it's YOUR wedding so they will be looking at you. Also, everyone is going to be eating while you are, so I guess I just think people will be preoccupied with their own meal, so they wouldn't be staring at you the whole time, or coming up to you.
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  • edited February 2012
    Where i am from there is only ever a head table. It is a given & people do not even question it. I have never seen a sweetheart table. We also do not have kings tables, though that would prob be ok with a small wp. 

    Most of our wp is family so they will be ok, i can't think of one date that will know no one, if my 1 girl gets into a relationship i wills eat her date with other friends wh odon't know anyone. I am not having long speeches & it will be an hour tops. The rest of the night they will be doing whatever they want. After dinner their "duties" are done & they are free. 

    The head table then gets moved against a wall & not touched again until clean up. 

    I have been to a lot of weddings & that is the way it has always been here. 

    People never even used to question it, they just accepted it.

    A king's table is a head table with dates, most of the time i have seen the pics of them across from each other (on google) but i think that would be uncomfortable for the ones without dates. 
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  • We will be having a head table for our WP and their SO's. However, most SO's are already part of the wedding party. MOH will have her boyfriend, bridesmaid and best man are married, bridesmaid (aunt) and my uncle (who will be walking me down the aisle), and 2 GM without dates.

    So, there will be only one additional person at our head table that is not in the actual wedding party. My MOH is actually asking her BF to wear a tux (different than the GM/BM) so that pictures won't look too off when they take them of the head table.
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  • michellep1michellep1 member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    We'll be doing a head table that will be 14 people as well.  There's one couple where both sides are in the wedding, otherwise I think the dates will be fine sitting together.  All my other bridesmaids' dates went to college with us, so they're all friends, and the girls that are dating the groomsmen are all really outgoing so I don't forsee a problem.  I personally don't think you should worry about it; people understand that there is a large head table.  I know if it were me sitting with random other dates at a wedding that FI was in I'd try to make friends and have as much fun as possible.  They're all adults, they can handle themselves!
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  • Okay I am glad someone posted this because I need some help.

    I don't know what a sweetheart's table is. I know that WP gets to sit with their SO but is it still at what would be considered a "head table"? Or is it just like a normal table?

    My venue's head table can only accomodate 12. We've got 5 GM, 5 BM and me and FI so there's the 12. I've never seen a sweetheart table around my area and I don't think anyone will be offended by the lack of it.  All the SO of the bridal party know each other or are good friends with another group at the wedding so I don't think it will be a big deal for them to sit with people other than their SO at the dinner. Do you think this will work okay?
    June 16, 2012
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_question-about-seating-the-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:669b8f86-118b-4810-b9d2-107195dca222Post:beaaf8bc-774e-4e90-b35c-514457a48a5e">Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay I am glad someone posted this because I need some help. I don't know what a sweetheart's table is. I know that WP gets to sit with their SO but is it still at what would be considered a "head table"? Or is it just like a normal table? My venue's head table can only accomodate 12. We've got 5 GM, 5 BM and me and FI so there's the 12. I've never seen a sweetheart table around my area and I don't think anyone will be offended by the lack of it.  All the SO of the bridal party know each other or are good friends with another group at the wedding so I don't think it will be a big deal for them to sit with people other than their SO at the dinner. Do you think this will work okay?
    Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]

    <div>I know etiquette says no but once in a while depending on the circumstances etiquette can be breached. Your people will not be offended so it will be ok i am sure. </div><div>
    </div><div>Personally i think it is fine as long as you can sit the dates together (they will have something in common with their s/o at head table) or with other people they know. </div><div>
    </div><div>Personally if my fiance was in a wedding & i knew no one i just wouldn't go, but that is just me, most are not like that. </div>
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  • We're not doing a head table, but we're also not doing a sweetheart table. The GMs and BMs will sit at regular tables together, with their dates, and we'll sit at one of the tables with them. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_question-about-seating-the-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:669b8f86-118b-4810-b9d2-107195dca222Post:beaaf8bc-774e-4e90-b35c-514457a48a5e">Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay I am glad someone posted this because I need some help. <strong>I don't know what a sweetheart's table is. I know that WP gets to sit with their SO but is it still at what would be considered a "head table"? Or is it just like a normal table?</strong> My venue's head table can only accomodate 12. We've got 5 GM, 5 BM and me and FI so there's the 12. I've never seen a sweetheart table around my area and I don't think anyone will be offended by the lack of it.  All the SO of the bridal party know each other or are good friends with another group at the wedding so I don't think it will be a big deal for them to sit with people other than their SO at the dinner. Do you think this will work okay?
    Posted by acaponi87[/QUOTE]
    A sweetheart table is a table that just you and H sit at. So the BP will all sit at regular tables. When there is a head table, but the BP and their SOs sit with them it is a King's Table.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_question-about-seating-the-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:669b8f86-118b-4810-b9d2-107195dca222Post:cf15da97-dd86-466a-ae1b-3721adfee6b4">Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party : A sweetheart table is a table that just you and H sit at. So the BP will all sit at regular tables. When there is a head table, but the BP and their SOs sit with them it is a King's Table.  
    Posted by SheilaDancer43[/QUOTE]

    Okay, I guess I want a King's Table then. I've never heard it called that.  FI has two GM with SOs and my MOH and 1 BM have SOs and teenage children.  I'll put the SOs at the King's Table and the rest of MOH and BM's family at a table nearby. Thanks for the idea!
  • We are doing a sweetheart table because we are seating the WP with their partner and kids. There was no way I could get 24 people to fit. :(

    We will have two tables for WP. One on either side of our sweetheart table, so we can still talk to everyone.
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  • We are doing a small round table where we will sit and 2 shorter banquet tables on either side of it for the WP. Most of the BP is family and their SO's will be fine sitting with other family. I don't like the idea of a kings table because I think it takes away from those in WP and what if someone doesn't have a date? I would feel like I'm highlighting them. I would say either a head table or sweetheart.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_question-about-seating-the-bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:669b8f86-118b-4810-b9d2-107195dca222Post:e3157140-6c5e-4675-b271-af4a28154754">Re: Question about seating the Bridal Party</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are doing a head table w our wedding party.  I assume the WP's dates will be fine sitting together even if they don't really know each other if its just for dinner.   Dinner won't take that long.  They will be fine.  Though most of the dates will know each other.
    Posted by Cassandra999[/QUOTE]

    Don't do this!!! I've been in this situation when FI was in weddings. Not only was he busy all day, taking pictures after the ceremony and during cocktail hour...then I had to sit alone the entire evening. I found it inconsiderate. Our wedding party is sitting with their dates at tables around the room.
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  • We went to a wedding last year that FI was a GM in.  They did a head table with the BP and sat all the dates at a seperate table.  I'm a VERY social person, so I made friends with everyone at the table (only knew 1 person before the wedding) but I was SUPER annoyed.  Even thinking about it now I get annoyed all over again.  We will definitely not be doing that.
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