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Oh no they just did not.....

shelby_louis_2011shelby_louis_2011 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
The fiance and I just got home from a weekend with my soon-to-be in-laws and some friends. I told my fiance that I was going to hang out with a guy friend, and he was comopletely ok with it. I even told his sister that I was going out with a friend and mentioned that I hadn't seen *HIM* in like a year. After I left their house to visit my friend, his sister told my fiance that she thought he and I had gone somewhere together and he told her "no, she went to see her friend Michael". His mom and sister then did the obnoxious brow-raise and said "oh...that's interesting. And you're ok with this?" EXCUSE THE HELL OUT OF ME, but what I do is between my fiance and I and is none of their damn business. I have tried up and down to establish a relationship with them, and the only time they aknowledge my existance is when they are running their mouths? Should I say anything to them or should I just drop it?

Oh, and he took his ex-girlfriend out for dinner for her birthday (which I was fine with, she is a mutual friend) and his family saw absolutely no problem with that, so why is there a problem with me visiting a friend that I have never been romantically linked with?
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Re: Oh no they just did not.....

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    What was your FI's response?
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Why did your fi tell you what his mom and sister said?  He should have straightened them out and left you out of it. You shouldn't say anything thing to them, he should.
                       
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  • shelby_louis_2011shelby_louis_2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    All he told them was that he was fine with me seeing Michael. I don't really remember how the topic came up between us (I was distracted by my blind fury) but it just sort of came up. I can't believe that after everything I have done to try establishing a relationship with them, all they can do is think I'm a tramp. UGH.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    To be honest, I'd be tempted to say something to them, but Retread is right. You should ignore their foolish comments. They don't deserve a response.
                       
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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I definitely agree that their actions don't deserve a response. All that matters is that you and FI know the truth. I would definitely watch what I say around them in the future though.
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  • mellimel19mellimel19
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Try and ignore it. What goes on between you and your fiance is between the two of you, and as long as you're both cool with it, that's all that counts. I wouldn't assume his mom and sister now think you're a tramp, they may just find the idea of opposite sex, platonic friendships odd or questionable.

    I have a great relationship with my future in-laws, and I have several male friends who are like brothers to me, whom I've known a lot longer than my fiance. He has NO problems with me hanging out with them, but I'm sure if it was mentioned in front of his mom or sister, it might raise some eyebrows. They are from an older generation and from a more traditional background, and to them, hanging out with male friends without my fiance might seem strange or inappropriate. Not really their business though, and something that me and my fiance are cool with, so there's no issue.
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  • jenn&chadjenn&chad member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is infuriating, but like PPs said I would not bring it up to them.  As long as your FI is ok with it that's all that matters.  To tell you the truth I would be a little concerned if my FI didn't tell them there's nothing to worry about.  IMO his response to them is indicative of how he feels about the situation. 
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  • StephieBowStephieBow member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_oh-just-did-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b0c4f669-e409-4cca-a014-a4e9478117c2Post:d6affe7b-1d51-4f63-96c2-5f857995bc70">Re: Oh no they just did not.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]To be honest, I'd be tempted to say something to them, but Retread is right. You should ignore their foolish comments. They don't deserve a response.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    Agreed, I think you just need to try to keep them at arms length. After your married they have no choice but to accept you.
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  • ADTonkADTonk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    They are probably expecting to get a rise out of you.  I wouldn't give them the time of day. 

    I WOULD however tell FI that he needs to handle it. 
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