Not Engaged Yet

Engaged for christmas?

Is anyone else out there getting asked by everyone if they think they will get engaged for Christmas. My bf and I live together and have been together for  2 1/2 years. We talk about getting married, our families talk about it and talk about the future as well. We even know where we want to get married. 

Unfortunately, because of money issues ect. I can pretty much gaurentee that it won't happen this Christmas. Or my birthday (January). Or Valentines. It's bad enough that I'm really disappointed and frustrated that I think it will be at least another year, but it doesn't help that with the holidays coming up I get asked when is it going to happen on nearly a daily basis. Sigh. 
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Re: Engaged for christmas?

  • edited December 2011
    It doesn't have to cost money to get engaged.

    Him : "will you marry me?"
    You: "YES!"
    - no money at all. Or maybe there is an heirloom ring in your family or his that he could present to you.
  • edited December 2011
    I was in the same boat and it sucked! It's almost 4 years now, and eventually people did give up asking. Honestly in this economy I'm shocked that people don't get it that money is not as free flowing as it used to be!

    I agree you don't need a ring to be engaged, but for some reason my BF (and others I'm sure) will not call themselves engaged unless there is a ring. Silly traditionalist boys!!
  • edited December 2011
    i'm in your boat too. everyone keeps asking if bf and i will be engaged by christmas. i doubt it, especially since he ordered me a kindle for my present (that's $300 in itself.) i'm just trying not to think about it so that it doesnt bother me.
  • edited December 2011

    I know exactly how you feel- I was in your boat for  a while, and i didnt expect anything and the night before thanksgiving my boyfriend asked me to marry him- so you never know when it can happen! Stay positive ! ;)

  • bekalinzbekalinz member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i feel the exact same way!  we went to his 10 year hs reunion last week where everyone was asking "so are you two getting engaged over the holidays?!?!" 

    so i definitely understand!  i seriously doubt it will happen at Christmas - he was asking me what i wanted for Christmas today and i so wanted to say "a proposal, duh!"  haha  but i bit my tongue!  he will do it when he's ready!

    but in the meantime, we will wait together and just sigh and smile when ppl ask, "so did you get engaged over the holidays?!" 
  • edited December 2011
    I've actually started people I'm never getting married. Which is highly amusing, since that was BF's tune for a while, but now that I say it, I think it bugs him. Interesting how these things work...

    Amazingly enough, people STILL ask, repeatedly. Apparently that's not a big enough hint to shut up!
    He pretty much had me at "hello".
    -- PS I agree with whatever Jeana said --
  • stephie25stephie25 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks all -- I'm trying to keep positive, but everyone asking only reminds me of how much I want it to happen! I'll just have to be patient! 

    And preppysailor, oh how I wish my boyfriend would think more like you! He insists on getting me not just  a ring, but a nice one. Sweet, but frustrating since I keep telling him I don't need anything fancy!
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm in the same boat as well... and to me it makes things worse when people ask about it because its hard enough knowing you're not engaged but when people ask its just like a constant reminder. Over Thanksgiving it was kinda of funny because Drew's grandfather, who is 75, kept giving Drew a hard time saying he better hurry up before Eric marries me (Drew's uncle who is like 35 and single LOL no thanks!) But we actually have been talking about it alot lately. It also doesnt help that one of my close friends and coworker who is 55 keeps telling me that she has a feeling that i will be engaged this Christmas...which sucks because i want her to be right even though i know it wont come for at least another year and a half. I have to finish school and Drew has to get into Law school... so thats kinda important to do first Lol. 

    another thing that sucks is while there I got put in charge to hold the babies while the parents took turns eating which i dont mind...i love kids. But Drew's aunt and grandfather kept telling me and asking me "Don't you want one of these sometime soon?"...or "You need one" as if it was a new purse or something... and sadly my family does it too.. :( Come on people..i'm 21... its not like my baby maker is running low on time...
  • edited December 2011
    Yup, it is brought up all of the time. I always say, "that's not up to me." Then I starting thinking about how great that would be...uhg!!!
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  • edited December 2011
    The BF told me a few weeks ago that we'd be engaged by Christmas, and I'm choosing to believe him, lol. He had originally wanted to propose around the time of our anniversary (July 4), but his job got screwy with his hours and he didn't want to propose without a ring (yep, I've got a traditional boy :)).

    To be honest, I'm glad it worked out the way it did...we'll be able to celebrate our engagement with both our families relatively soon after we get engaged, which we wouldn't have been able to do if we had gotten engaged in July. It's also an incredible way to close out a pretty difficult year (lots of school and health issues).

    Best of luck my dear! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! :)

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  • pinkpinotpinkpinot member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I HATED when people would ask me that like I knew the exact time, place & date of when I'd be engaged!

    After you get engaged the questions become even more annoying.  During the round of phone calls to my family, every person asked if I had a set a date.  I was like ummm I've been engaged for 2 hours how could I have set a date???
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  • MidniteRaeMidniteRae member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm hoping, but I have no idea. BF says "soon"..whatever that means to him. lol. It could possibly come duing Chanukah. But I don't want to get my hopes up, then I'll really be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
    "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury 
  • pinkpinotpinkpinot member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Oceana - that's exciting and only 25 days away!

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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I get this daily!! BF wants to get me a ring, and won't propose without one, either!  I wouldn't care if I never got a ring...I just want to be able to call him my FI...or better yet, husband!haha!  But I've learned to just shurg it off when people ask. 

    Annnndddd I don't want to jinx it but we're going to Cuba in March and he's booked us a suite with ocean view (next door to the fam. but we get a suite! haha) and he wants to go "horseback riding on the beach, by ourselves" so I'm thinking maybe...? I don't want to jinx it tho!!!

    Who knows ladies, maybe some of us WILL have stories after the holidays!! I've got my fingers crossed for everyone!lol

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  • stephie25stephie25 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I plan on wearing this on Christmas day so I get left alone!

    ha ha ha, j/k :)



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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    OMG! I want one!!!

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    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
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  • edited December 2011
    I used to get this now and then in a former relationship (we were common-law). Not from family (my family is awesome that way), but others.

    I find that question rather tacky to be honest and would tend to reply with an equally tacky response/question of my own such as "I don't know, when is your divorce coming through?". Unless it was like someone's Great-Great Aunt Matilda - then I tended to be a little more polite with my answer, while still conveying that was between us. I tended to be extra persnickety when I was asked that at weddings. I have always been bothered by people thinking timelines, or holidays, somehow dictated a relationship (at 6 months, tick this box, at Christmas, tick this box).

    Then again, I knew in that relationship no engagement/wedding was going to be happening (long story) so I was not too bothered by it!

    Strangely enough, I was never asked questions like that in my relationship now (maybe they learned from before?). Then again we we don't really hang around people who ask those kind of questions either and perhaps they realized at 30 & 35, we can make decisions for ourselves and they will know when they need to know (that, or they figured after we both have lived with someone for a few years without getting married that we were lost causes...ha).!

  • edited December 2011
    MidniteRae - I feel your pain. My BFs choice word is "sometime!" Sometime could mean ANYTHING!!!
  • edited December 2011
    Yes, I was harassed around this time last year.  Meanwhile we had been together less than 2 years at the time.  
  • edited December 2011
    Heh...

    We just told everyone "why would we get married when we can just shack up the rest of our lives."  When they said, "well don't you want kids?" We said, "last we checked, you don't need to be married to have kids."

    This shut up our two Roman Catholic families very quickly.  I thought my mother was going to die of shock when we announced our engagement and actually went through with a marriage.


  • PandaBurrPandaBurr member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I found out recently that my cousins started a pool betting on who would get married first, me or an older female cousin. Apparently they're betting on me, so I'm inclined to wait it out. Damn family. :P But I love them.
  • edited December 2011
    Christmas is bad, but family weddings are even worse! At my brother's wedding a couple of months ago, I had to deal with all those "when will you be getting married" and "are you next" questions.  Luckily, I won't have to put up with that this Christmas because we are announcing our engagement then.
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