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Etiquette

Pushy bride is demanding parties

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Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties

  • That sounds about right, Habs.  And she'll still call it a "wedding".

    What a piece of work.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:455ccb72-07e8-4ecb-99f7-a51a85cb4004">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a feeling this girl will come back from her $20k elopement and decide that she wants to have her PPD afterall. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

    Habs, if we're lucky, she'll post on E to ask "how to have a REAL wedding" and the ensuing shiiitstorm will get me through a boring afternoon of work.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:455ccb72-07e8-4ecb-99f7-a51a85cb4004">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have a feeling this girl will come back from her $20k elopement and decide that she wants to have her PPD afterall. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]
    Haha Yeah!

    And at the bottom of their PPD invite it will say:

    Please make checks payable to: Mr. and Mrs. Greedy McGreedypants
    image

    Anxiously awaiting baby #1! Baby BOY Due: May 30, 2013! Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:7a16d566-a09d-403a-bddd-49a669a4bff9">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : Haha Yeah! And at the bottom of their PPD invite it will say: Please make checks payable to: Mr. and Mrs. Greedy McGreedypants
    Posted by mbody[/QUOTE]

    <div>Please make checks <em>for at least the cost of your plate</em> payable...</div>
  • I am BEYOND surprised at your friend.  She sounds utterly ridiculous.  I'm having my dream wedding in North Carolina and spending WAY less than $20K.  She just sounds unreasonable.  Definitely ask one of your other BMs to "take control" of your parties because this girl is out of her mind.  I'm curious now as to where she wanted to get married originally that $20K wouldn't cover.
    image
  • KWill, you never ask someone to throw you a party. Steph's suggestion earlier is more appropriate. It both lets the other BMs know no party is being planned for OP and keeps them from getting ripped off. They can take that information and do whatever they want with it.
    image


    "I wish I could have sparkly tits every single day of my life." --MUNI
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:b9091d1e-f03e-4936-8780-2a32a28a4ad1">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : What did she do?? Rent the whole Biltmore Estate???
    Posted by LaurenHH[/QUOTE]


    She wishes! Her wedding was originally at the Grove Park Inn, which is a pricey place. She wanted to have it on the Biltmore Lawn but they charge $15k just for the rental, and I think it's like $210 a person or something insane. She actually considered taking out a loan for it.
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  • I really hope there's no PPD in the future. I don't know how much more I can take.
    FOR SALE - www.sd31942.weebly.com
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:e5e3e18e-4778-4d79-afda-c5fb0b7b9926">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : She wishes! Her wedding was originally at the Grove Park Inn, which is a pricey place. She wanted to have it on the Biltmore Lawn but they charge $15k just for the rental, and I think it's like $210 a person or something insane. She actually considered taking out a loan for it.
    Posted by StephieDee[/QUOTE]

    <div>I thought a $20k vacation was the most mind-blowing thing I'd read today.  Nope!</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:2403d72e-4d0b-4c55-a8b6-470493ef18dc">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties : I thought a $20k vacation was the most mind-blowing thing I'd read today.  Nope!
    Posted by ceh789[/QUOTE]

    Nope, it costs on average around 50K to have a Biltmore Estate wedding.  But think of the amazing pictures you could get in the gardens with a $6,000 photographer!
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:cf370b2d-1a9b-4b9a-92bb-a178c4ddf57b">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]KWill, you never ask someone to throw you a party. Steph's suggestion earlier is more appropriate. It both lets the other BMs know no party is being planned for OP and keeps them from getting ripped off. They can take that information and do whatever they want with it.
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

    I was under the impression that these parties had already been planned by said crazy bride and OP was worried they would be cancelled if OP didn't throw crazy brides' parties as well. In that case, I would feel comfortable talking to one of my BMs about it and they would probably step-up on their own without me asking.  Granted, all of my BMs have been my best friends since 7th grade so we really have no boundaries.  And I agree - I think her other BMs will step up without her having to ask.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:c46d0b15-a1d4-4f51-970d-ab23051f6fc6">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]The Biltmore is beautiful. If I was rolling around in money like Scrooge McDuck, that would be a nice venue for my PPD.
    Posted by cfaszews25[/QUOTE]


    I'm a chef and did a brief stint at the Biltmore. A lot of the brides there were just unbelievable. I would have hated to be their catering director.
    FOR SALE - www.sd31942.weebly.com
  • Personally, I can't understand keeping someone in your life who is so utterly devoid of sense and empathy like this. I know that she is a really old part of your life, but I think you should just cut your ties. It's so completely not worth it.
  • I'm just baffled you're even trying to save this friendship.  She sounds like a horrible person.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:225ad3e4-05e5-4195-86be-f0c56153b761">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally, I can't understand keeping someone in your life who is so utterly devoid of sense and empathy like this. I know that she is a really old part of your life, but I think you should just cut your ties. It's so completely not worth it.
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

    This was along the lines of what I was thinking. Sometimes people change do the worse, and although I know you've been friends for a long time, it doesn't mean you still have to be.

    I've has to cut some toxic people out of my life. It was hard at first, but I'm better off for it. She sounds terrible, but it's completely up to you how much more of this you endure.
  • "You WERE here MOH, you aren't anymore now that she's eliminated the need for a WP by eloping."

    Exactly this.  You stopped being her MOH when she decided not to invite you to her wedding.  I would not throw her a shower or bach-party.  I would also talk to your real MOH and other bridesmaids and tell them that you expect some drama from her - I'm sure they will take care of it. 
  • So I know you're like never supposed to kick someone out of your WP, but...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:562acc28-8758-4335-ac65-b98398b672d7">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I know you're like never supposed to kick someone out of your WP, but...
    Posted by elizanurse[/QUOTE]

    Nope.  Still can't here (unless she's ending the friendship anyway, in which case kicking the girl out of the WP is a side effect of the friendship ending).  Since it sounds like OP isn't planning to end the friendship at this point, she can't kick her out.
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  • WTF, if you make girls fork out a bunch of money on a dress and change your plans you best be reimbbursing them.

    Elopement= no showers, no parties period!

    I would be beyond pissed if someone did that to me!
  • Now that I read more I would maybe have just the bridesmaids get together with the bride, give her your bridesmaids dresses and tell her that the dresses are her bridal gift.

    What a total greedy brat, I'm sure her parents are so proud!

  • Since she's having a private wedding, technically it's bad form to have a shower and invite people to pre-wedding parties if they are not invited to the wedding. I also think it's asking a lot to demand a destination bachelorette.

    I think you know all this and are asking for ways to TELL her how you feel. You're in each other's bridal parties, good friends I'm assuming. It's not going to be a fun conversation but it's one that needs to happen. 

    Sit her down and gently tell her what you said - that you cannot afford to host a shower or destination bachelorette party. Tell her that you're uncomfortable with the breach of etiquette having the shower and suggest perhaps that if she's insisting on a shower, someone with more time and who is less concerned about etiquette should host it. As for the bach party, how about instead of focusing on what you can't do, approach her with a plan that IS feasible. Stagette's aren't gift-giving affairs so something small with just close girlfriends locally may not be seen as the etiquette pratfall that the shower is.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pushy-bride-is-demanding-parties?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41c4eacd-6bfb-4600-b264-818dd3a115ecPost:6671a46c-50e7-4021-927e-9879f8127ebc">Re: Pushy bride is demanding parties</a>:
    [QUOTE]Now that I read more I would maybe have just the bridesmaids get together with the bride, give her your bridesmaids dresses and tell her that the dresses are her bridal gift.
    Posted by mollyehren[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>THIS! I just laughed so hard.</div><div>
    </div><div>OP, this biitch sounds completely BSC. PPs have given you great advice - go with it. And goodluck with Bridezilla.

    </div>
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  • i hope your friend has a nice elopment... and not having any friends after she gets back. just saying
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