Morning after etiquette

Allycat11 · May 2011

My dad has told me he plans to host a breakfast the morning after the wedding as a "send off" for fi and me. My mom wants to invite immediate family and bridal party+dates. Because our reception is being held in a hotel ballroom, a lot of people (even semi-locals) plan to spend the night. With the breakfast also being held in a meeting room at the hotel, I feel it would be proper to invite anyone spending the night.

So, first question, who would be invited to something like this?
Also, how would you communicate this information? Word of mouth? Less formal paper invite?

redheadfsu · May 2011

I say word of mouth/very informal email type of thing.

mizjodi · May 2011

Informal.

We're planning on doing a brunch too, and I've already invited some of the OOT guests via word-of-mouth

mica178 · May 2011

You could put the invitation in the OOT gift bag, if you're doing those.

J&K10910 · May 2011

Have you talked to your parents about wanting to invite all the OOT guests? It sounds like it was offered to pay for the wedding party and immediate family. Do you plan to pay for the other guests, or what's your plan there?

Allycat11 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_morning-after-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba04b9ac-3668-4b93-866a-d2bd5a2ea752Post:a0acd22a-04a2-426d-bf62-4b48877ffbb4">Re: Morning after etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Have you talked to your parents about wanting to invite all the OOT guests? It sounds like it was offered to pay for the wedding party and immediate family. Do you plan to pay for the other guests, or what's your plan there?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Good point. I should have clarified. I spoke with them about it today. I thanked them for the offer and asked for what exactly their plan was, and they were kind of vague on the boundries of who was invited and when I mentioned if it would be just immediate family and bp or all over nighters they said they hadn't thought about it. They were looking for something more intimate for personal reasons not budget reasons. When I brought up all overnighters, they said that may be a good idea.

bellebride116 · May 2011

We did a morning after breakfast, it was a huge hit! We made it a formal thing tho and included the invite to that within our wedding invite... but...

I would invite everyone who is spending the night. They are spending extra to stay over, so it's a nice additional thank you.

I know at some hotels, if you hold something in a meeting room, there will be signs to so and so's event. If some guests saw that and weren't invited I would feel horrible!

J&K10910 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_morning-after-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba04b9ac-3668-4b93-866a-d2bd5a2ea752Post:467173f7-74b5-4a93-909a-7ab353bddc4f">Re: Morning after etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning after etiquette : Good point. I should have clarified. I spoke with them about it today. I thanked them for the offer and asked for what exactly their plan was, and they were kind of vague on the boundries of who was invited and when I mentioned if it would be just immediate family and bp or all over nighters they said they hadn't thought about it. They were looking for something more intimate for personal reasons not budget reasons. When I brought up all overnighters, they said that may be a good idea.
Posted by Allycat11[/QUOTE]

Got it. Well, if you do invite all overnighters I agree that word of mouth or something in the OOT bags if you do them would work.

FWIW we did a brunch just for our parents and my grandma (only living grandparent that attended) the day after which was nice, but it was Mother's Day. We might have done something bigger if it hadn't been Mother's Day. It was nice to just get to spend some time with our immediate family though, because in all the craziness, we really hadn't spent much time at all with them.

Allycat11 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_morning-after-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba04b9ac-3668-4b93-866a-d2bd5a2ea752Post:9a4182fe-74c4-4466-8f53-fbba5371d1c9">Re: Morning after etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning after etiquette : Got it. Well, if you do invite all overnighters I agree that word of mouth or something in the OOT bags if you do them would work. FWIW we did a brunch just for our parents and my grandma (only living grandparent that attended) the day after which was nice, but it was Mother's Day. We might have done something bigger if it hadn't been Mother's Day. <strong>It was nice to just get to spend some time with our immediate family though, because in all the craziness, we really hadn't spent much time at all with them.
</strong>Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Yea, that's kind of how we are feeling right now. I would like to invite everyone that is staying in the hotel just to be a courteous host. But I honestly think I would enjoy myself more if it was just immediate family...which for us is still about 30 people for parents, grandparents, siblings+dates, neice and nephews, and our 2 friends in the bp+their dates.

[Deleted User] · May 2011

FI's parents are hosting a brunch the next day. We're probably going to put the invites in the OOT bags, but also give some to people who are not staying in the hotel but we still want to invite (my family is not planning to stay at the hotel because my mom doesn't drink, so they will have a dd, but they're still invited to the brunch).

Karen's MOH · May 2011

We invited everyone who came to the wedding to ours, but it was held at a separate restaurnt that did a big brunch buffet, and we actually sent out separate invitations. I loved it and it was great to see everyone again when there was less pressure.

However, your parents idea of getting to spend a little extra time with just those closest to you is really nice. We did not get to talk to everyone at the brunch by a long shot. I don't think it is rude in any way to not invite everyone who is staying over. You invited them to the wedding, paid for their food and drinks, and that is what was expected.

So, I say you can do whichever you prefer but both are prefectly fine options. It's up to you whether you want a big thing where you get to see everyone, or a smaller more intimate thing where you can really talk to just those closest to you.

meep2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_morning-after-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba04b9ac-3668-4b93-866a-d2bd5a2ea752Post:94da5cc8-81f7-45d6-8e14-62bbe8aa1815">Re: Morning after etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Based on the subject line, I didn't think this thread was going to be about breakfast.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

Ha! Neither did I at first, and then I was like "Ohhhhhhhhhhh!" That would be an interesting topic, though...

Loopyseven · May 2011

I think if you want to keep it intimate that is fine, but I might consider hosting it at a restaurant near the hotel instead of in the hotel itself to minimize the probability of any of the not invited to brunch guests being hurt by it . If you invite anyone staying at the hotel then have it wherever works best.

Murfle11 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_morning-after-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ba04b9ac-3668-4b93-866a-d2bd5a2ea752Post:94da5cc8-81f7-45d6-8e14-62bbe8aa1815">Re: Morning after etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]Based on the subject line, I didn't think this thread was going to be about breakfast.
Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha ditto</div>

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